Monday, March 09, 2015

The Lawyer and the Orange

One day in a Contract Law class, the professor called on one of the students and posed this question: "If you were going to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student thought for a moment, then said, "Here's an orange."

The professor was furious. "No, no!' he shouted. "Think like a lawyer!"

The student collected himself, then stood tall and said, "I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat the same, extract the juice of, or give the same away with or without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding ..."

The professor beamed proudly. "Now you're thinking like a lawyer!"

Have a good day, good being defined as intellectually challenging, meteorologically pleasant, financially sound, and medically unimpaired, and day being defined as the 24-hour diurnal period defined by the rotation of the earth one time around its axis. The act of "having" in this context is intended and determined to encompass possession, experience, and enjoyment, without boundary or limit.

So there.

Have it, anyway.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

That makes me feel better about today. Later on, when I buy clementines, I will ask for and keep the paperwork.

Clarissa said...

That sounds just like a lawyer.

Big Sky Heidi said...

I'll take wishes for a good day in any way the wisher cares to phrase it. Can't be choosy.

Mike said...

If I let the orange get old and moldy, is the mold mine?

Linda Kay said...

Lawyer speak, I'd say...blah, blah, blah. I like Mike's question. If we take the peeling off, then is the peeling still ours that we can use to do other things that might not be guaranteed in the contract, such as grating it for a cake?

allenwoodhaven said...

Very amusing. Perhaps a lawyer might ask if the person wants the orange and then could charge billable hours while the lawyer thinks about giving it away.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Lawyers write as if they were paid by the word.