Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Arkansas Engineering Exam

I've looked over my readership list and determined, as near as I can figure, that I have no regular readers in Arkansas ... so perhaps I can get away with this one without losing any of my hard-earned followers.

Could you become a licensed engineer in Arkansas? Here's the exam ...

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the fastest when placed on blocks in an average front yard:
(a) A '65 Ford Fairlane
(b) A '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(c) a '64 Pontiac GTO?

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine per hour, how many car radiators will be required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre, and the plot is 2.3 acres in size. If the average tree diameter is 14 inches, how many Budweisers will be drunk before all the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine boards on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The porch is eight feet wide and 16 feet long, with a floor of one-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15 percent. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A two-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at a speed of 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that the truck will strike a vehicle with a functioning muffler?

9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area and employs 120 miners per shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5 percent per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Well, did you pass? If so, you are probably better qualified for a position on any Senate or House Committee than the incumbent.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

I could answer only #4: Too many Buds to cut down the trees -- just get used to it. I think any Unnatural State readers of your blog should qualify for the (Out)House.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

A great humorous post!

Linda Kay said...

At one time my hubby had licenses for engineering in over 20 states. I'll see if he can pass this test!

Anemone said...

Sort of like the Alaska engineering exam.

Mike said...

I don't think the R-12 would be as much of a problem compared to the methane.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Arkansas' engineering exam is just as hard as the others. It's just different. No question about hounds?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

A great satire on hillbilly stereotypes and engineering. I guess I better stay here in Bama as I can't pass that one.