Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Slogans for College Majors

The fall term (or semester, or whatever) has begun on college campuses around the country, and millions of students are settling back down to the routine of classes and intensive study heavy partying. For those pursuing degrees in various disciplines, I offer these slogans I found in a truer-than-you-may-know piece online ...

Chemistry: Where alcohol is a solution.

Biochemistry: Spend four years aspiring to discover a cure for cancer and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo.

Archaeology: If you don't know what it is, it was ceremonial.

Business Administration: You, too, can wreck the economy!

Information Technology: Let me Google that for you.

Computer Science: Because you can save money by being able to work out of your parents' basement.

Political Science: Your opinion is wrong and you hate America.

Engineering: The science of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.

Structural Engineering: Because architects don't understand physics.

Philosophy: Think about it.

Communications: Exciting careers in obfuscatory politics.

Linguistics: Study 17 languages; become fluent in none.

Criminal Justice: Never a job shortage!

Statistics: Support, not illumination.

Anthropology: It may get you laid but won't get you paid.

Zoology: Because you can't major in kittens.

Pre-Med: I'll switch majors in two years.

Divinity School: My God can beat up your God.

English: So you want to be a teacher.

Astrophysics: Within an order of magnitude.

Creative Writing: Job security is for wusses.

Physics: Everything you learned last semester is wrong.

Nursing: Save lives while fighting not to take your own.

Marine Biology: I wanted to play with dolphins but instead, I look at algae.

Accounting: Sell your soul for money.

Finance: Accounting was too hard.

Art History: Because you thought making art was pointless.

Graphic Design: We aren't artists, we're designers; there's a difference!

Any other suggestions? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. Study hard ... you may end up unemployed, but you'll be well-educated.

More thoughts tomorrow.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

Those were so fitting!

Psychology - So guys you hang out with think you know what they are really thinking.

Sociology - You know everyone will think that's deep because they don't know what it is.

Phys Ed - Have a beach bod 12 months a year.

HUman Environmental Sciences - What your grandma studied when they called it Home Ec.

Chuck Bear said...

Astronomy: No, not astrology!
Geology: Be a rock doc.

Mike said...

Chemical engineering - Watch me write one equation that fills up all the blackboards in three classrooms.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Horticulture: Educating bad girls one by one.

allenwoodhaven said...

Psychology: Have everyone you meet tell you their problems and want free advice to fix them!