2020 has been a banner year for ass clowns. Tens of millions of them voted for an incompetent and dangerously erratic narcissist, then howled and demonstrated when - against all evidence - their guy lost the election by more than six million votes. Hundreds of them in official positions across the government at the state and local levels enabled a terrifyingly inept administration whose careless and frivolous approach to the public good has led to the needless deaths of - as of this morning - more than a quarter million Americans.
How on earth can I identify a single ass clown as representative of the class?
Fortunately, the choice is obvious. With a loud and flatulent blare of trumpets and a roll of muffled drums, we announce
The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2020
and the hands-down winner is
Rudy Giuliani
No one I can remember has squandered a good reputation and public goodwill as much as the man once known as "America's Mayor" for his leadership as mayor of New York City during the crisis period of September 11th, 2001. As the loudly sycophantic attorney for Der Furor, Mr Giuliani has led the charge to muddy the waters of this year's presidential election, trumpeting wild conspiracy theories and charges for which absolutely no evidence exists to salve the wounded feelings of his orange idol. With amazing tone-deafness, he held a news conference in defense of Der Furor in front of a landscaping company between an adult bookstore and a crematorium. He has been questioned skeptically by a Pennsylvania judge for his incompetence in presenting any sort of coherent, evidence-based defense of his contention of widespread voting fraud, and that the election was "stolen" from Der Furor.
In desperate search of material with which to smear former Vice President Joe Biden and to undermine the impeachment of Der Furor, Mr Giuliani traveled to Ukraine in an attempt to dig up evidence in support of his and Der Furor's unfounded allegations of wrongdoing by Biden and his family.
Mr Giuliani has made himself a laughingstock and an embarrassment (if such is possible any more) to the administration and to the nation. If there is any justice left in this country, he will never again be allowed to appear in court other than as a defendant. He is the obvious choice for this award, his third* since we began designating standout ass clowns in 2011.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2020, is Mr Rudolph William Giuliani.
Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. You know you need it.
More thoughts then.
Bilbo
* Mr Giuliani was the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2016, and the On-Crack Ass Clown for March, 2019.
3 comments:
"Hands down"
Pretty tough to out ass clown Giuliani!
Where's the picture with the hair dye running down his cheeks?!
I always read your intro on a small window so I learn the selection only at the last minute. I couldn't tell where you were going this time; there are so many choices! When I saw Giuliani, I said "of course!!" and laughed. Who could be a better choice? No one!
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