Voting is Now Open for the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today marks the official start of the selection campaign for the successor to the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year - Fox News posturing gargoyle Tucker Carlson. Yes, it's time to start voting for

The 2022 Ass Clown of the Year

By Friday, December 30th (the announcement of the final award for the year, the On-Crack Ass Clown for December), I will have named 27 awardees in 2022, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the ground rules for Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 50 votes (same as last year) at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often if you want to stuff the digital ballot box. 

- You may vote for any of this year's 27 award winners (the first 26 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 30th), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Voting laws don't apply to Republicans, why should they apply to you?

- No ID is required and there are no age restrictions. If you are concerned that the Russians (or Elon Musk, or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (via satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, for the third year in a row, because the number of potential awardees is so staggeringly high and their qualifications so unquestionable, you have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Saturday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister@yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; by text message if you have my phone number; or in person if we should happen to meet and you properly vaccinated. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages, desirable snacks (list available on request), or cash. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment it's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting, and will announce the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Sunday, January 1st, 2023.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 24 Ass Clown awardees for 2022*, in case you want to go back and review the citations:

January Right-Cheek: Senator Raphael "Ted" Cruz (R, TX) 

January Left-Cheek: Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin

February Right-Cheek: The Republican National Committee

February Left-Cheek: The Republican Party 

March Right-Cheek: The Republican Party, the "Freedom Convoy," Der Furor, Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC), and Vladimir Putin

March Left-Cheek: The Republican Members of the Senate Judiciary Committee

April Right-Cheek: Senator Joe Manchin (D, WV)

April Left-Cheek: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis 

May Right-Cheek: Senator Susan Collins (R, ME)

May Left-Cheek: Representative Elise Stefanik (R, NY-21)

June Right-Cheek: Special Counsel John Dunham

June Special Award: Kyle Rittenhouse

June Left-Cheek: Group Award to Those Who Failed to Sound the Alarm on Der Furor Unless Under Oath or to Protect a Book Deal

July Right-Cheek: Michael Flynn 

July Left-Cheek: Representative Jim Jordan (R, OH-4) 

July On-Crack: Hungarian President Viktor Orban

August Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

August Left-Cheek: Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC)

September Right-Cheek: Judge Aileen Cannon

September Left-Cheek: Don Bolduc

October Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

October Left-Cheek: Retired Military Officers Working for Foreign Governments

November Right-Cheek: Donald Trump, Junior

November Left-Cheek: Dan Bongino, Dinesh D'Souza, Tomi Lahren, and Brigitte Gabriel

December Right-Cheek: Kevin McCarthy (R, CA-23)

December Special Award: Der Furor

December Left-Cheek: Kari Lake

December On-Crack: To be announced on December 30th

It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized for appropriate ridicule.

BUT WAIT ... THERE'S MORE!!

With today's announcement of the start of the 2022 ACOY balloting comes the unveiling of the official Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown, to be presented to each ass clown awardee starting with the 2022 annual winner - 

Although the run on tinfoil hats by the MAGA crowd and the panic-buying of toilet paper ahead of winter storms may lead to temporary shortages of raw materials, I'll make it work. 

Have a good day, vote early, and vote often. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Many of the individual recipients have won the award multiple times by being part of group awards. I have not detailed membership in group awards during the year in the interest of space.