"Alpha Males"

Back in June of last year, I wrote about the concept of the so-called "alpha male," also known as an "incel," or, to use the proper scientific term, "douchebag." For what it's worth, I still think the whole "alpha male" thing is stupid. As has been frequently noted elsewhere in various forms,

"When men refer to themselves as "alpha males," I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public."

Indeed.

If you are so insecure in your manhood that you have to pump iron and post it on your X account, grow an enormous beard, wear clothing full of pseudo-manly slogans, drive an enormous pickup truck festooned with giant flags and angry decals, and ostentatiously pack iron and a giant Bowie knife for a visit to the local Dunkin Donuts, your testosterone level is probably insufficient to support reproduction, anyhow.

With this introduction, I call your attention to a recent New York Times guest essay by Sarah Bernstein: How Our Messed-Up Dating Culture Leads to Loneliness, Anger and Donald Trump.

Ms Bernstein writes that 

The manosphere would have us believe that this situation was inevitable, that women have emasculated men with their success and now complain that there aren’t enough real men to go around. In truth, our culture is broken because while we have acknowledged the limiting nature of the peasant-to-princess story line, we have not done the same for the prince. Over the past 60 years, as girls and women have fought their way into classrooms and boardrooms, society has expanded its idea of womanhood accordingly, yet our definition of manhood has failed to evolve alongside it. 

That's a brilliant observation, IMHO. What does it mean to be a man in the 21st Century?

As I'm fond of pointing out to my wife when I manage to get a stubborn lid off a jar, we men don't have much opportunity to rescue damsels in distress since the dragons died out. We don't have to fight off marauding tribes of Mongols and Visigoths, and wild animals don't usually pose a threat to our homes. We don't have to build a crude shelter for our families, leave it every day to hunt and trap game to feed them, and start all over again in a new place when the game runs out. 

Our roles nowadays are different. We commute to office jobs, hunt and gather at the local supermarket, and defend our homes against the threat of raccoons and termites. Warfare is carried out by professional warriors - men (and women, too, Mr Hegseth) recruited, trained, and armed to do it ... not by a levée en masse waving sharpened farm tools and following their lord into battle.

As much as we'd like to fantasize, there's no need for an "alpha male" any more, if there ever was. Today's "alpha male" is the one who can pick out the good stocks, find the bargains, install the software, and change the tire ... all of which can be done every bit as well by any female, with or without a preceding Greek letter. He's the guy who can do the shopping, fix the dinner, change the diapers, and read the bedtime stories. He can cut the grass, take out the garbage, walk the dog in the rain, and wash the car. He defends his home by installing better locks and keeping the insurance up to date.

And if he still needs guidance, there's a website called "The Art of Manliness" (yes, really) that can help.

Men, just accept that times have changed. Change with them. We live in a time when women can do everything we can do, and sometimes better. Don't mansplain and don't make assumptions that you may regret.

And remember that the Golden Rule works for the sexes, too.

Have a good day, and don't spoil it with any "alpha male" crap.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo