The New Calendar for Der Furor's America

Because Der Furor has promised to take so many actions on his first day in office, his staff and advisors have decided to replace the Gregorian Calendar that has been in use in the US since 1752 with the new "Trump Calendar," which will have the following features:

1. To accommodate the number of actions planned for the first day in office, the Trump Calendar for 2025 will contain six January 20ths. January 21st through 25th will all be redesignated as January 20th, January 26th will be become January 21st, and all subsequent January days will be renumbered, so that the month will end on January 25th.

2. The eleven federal legal holidays will be revised as follows:

* New Year's Day will remain unchanged; 
 

* Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr, will be replaced by "White Pride Day;" 

* Washington's Birthday (aka "Presidents Day") will be replaced by "Unitary Executive Day;" 

* Memorial Day will be replaced by "Suckers and Losers Day;" 

* Juneteenth National Independence Day will be replaced by "Trump's Birthday," and celebrated on June 14th; 

* Independence Day will be replaced by "America First Day;" 

* Labor Day will be replaced by "CEO Donor Appreciation Day;" 

* Columbus Day will be replaced by "Immigrant Denunciation and Deportation Day;" 

* Veterans Day will be replaced by "Commander-in-Chief Day;" 

* Thanksgiving Day will be replaced by "Trump Appreciation Day;"
and,

* Christmas Day will remain unchanged. 

3. Other popular, though not federally-recognized, holidays will be revised as follows:

* April Fools Day will be changed to "MAGA Appreciation Day;" 

* Flag Day, because it falls on the same date as the Trump's Birthday holiday, will be renamed "Fly Gigantic Trump Flags from Your Pickup Day;" and, 

* Cinco de Mayo will be changed to "May 5th."

Other changes are possible and will be hammered out among the various factions of Der Furor's administration in coordination with the authors of Project 2025.

Have a good day, and count the days until sanity returns to the nation.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo