Latin for the Uneducated

Since President Musk and PINO Der Furor* are intent on getting rid of the Department of Education (their followers having no particular use for education, anyhow), it occurs to me that many people will soon need some way to sound educated. Perhaps they can do this by sprinkling a few Latin phrases into their daily speech. No, not "Latin" as in suspected of being here illegally, but "Latin" as in what the ancient Romans spoke. Of course, the Roman empire actually fell, but we're still using their language, which ought to count for something. 

I took three years of Latin in high school (two of them trying to get out of Latin I), and so I recognize that some people may have trouble learning enough of it to pass as well-educated. As a public service to help keep you from actually having to learn Latin (which, trust me, can be a pain), here are some useful Latin phrases for you to sprinkle into your discourse...

Domino vobiscum - The pizza guy is here.

Sharpei diem - Seize the wrinkled dog.

Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus - Remove foil before microwaving.

Cellulus interruptus - Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.

Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum - Take the nose ring out before the job interview.

Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum - A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.

E pluribus iphoniensis - You just can't get away from people talking on their cell phones.

Veni, vidi, pesci - I came, I saw, I moidered da bum.

Revelare pecunia! - Show me the money!

Sic semper tyrannus - Your dinosaur is ill.

No quid pro quo - I'm sorry, we're all out of quid.

Cavaet homo sic tofu burritus e toga - Beware of the man with a tofu burrito in his toga. (SPECIAL NOTE: although the word "homo" in Latin simply means "man," it's not a good idea to use it near MAGAts who will automatically get the wrong idea).

Nunc tutus exitus computarus - It's now safe to turn off your computer.

Veni, vidi, vichy - I came, I saw, I surrendered to the Germans.

Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Et tu, pluribus unum? - The government just stabbed me in the back (very useful lately).

E pluribus septum - Multiple nose piercings.

The next time you need to sound erudite, you'll thank me. If your idea of political activism consists of simply shouting mindless slogans, you might as well sound good doing it.

No charge!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* He does love the poorly educated, after all.