Punching the Ultimate Tar Baby

When I was growing up, we read the “Uncle Remus” stories by Joel Chandler Harris, based on African-American folk tales. You can't find those stories any more today, as they're viewed as being racially insensitive at best or downright racist at worst. But however we view them, there's one story that resonates deeply today: the tale of Br'er Rabbit and the Tar Baby.

In this story, Br'er Fox makes a doll out of a lump of tar and dresses it in baby clothes in an attempt to catch wily Br'er Rabbit. When Br'er Rabbit finds the tar baby, he greets it pleasantly, but is offended when it refuses to answer him. Br'er Rabbit slaps the tar baby and, of course, becomes stuck. The more he punches and kicks at the tar baby, the more thoroughly he gets stuck. Br'er Rabbit eventually convinces Br'er Fox to toss him into a nearby briar patch, from which he is able to free himself from the tar baby and escape.

We keep punching the tar baby in the Middle East, but no briar patch is in sight to provide an escape, however painful.

When I was getting my Masters degree in International Relations many years ago, my focus was on the politics of the Middle East, and Iran in particular. In those studies, I learned a great deal about the history of Iran and our tortured relationship with it.

Make no mistake: a nuclear weapon in the hands of a single-minded, theocratic regime is a terrible threat to the peace of the entire world. But did you know that that single-minded, theocratic regime is the end result of actions that we - the United States - took in 1953?

In that year, our Central Intelligence Agency and Britain's MI-6 worked together to overthrow the elected Iranian government of Prime Minister Mohammed Mossadegh. This was done because Mr Mossadegh was threatening to nationalize foreign oil companies in Iran in a dispute with the British over the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company's payment of royalties to the Iranian government. The coup ousted Mr Mossadegh and installed Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, who was much more friendly toward Western business interests.

Over the following years, the Shah's government grew increasingly corrupt and oppressive, leading to a growing Islamic opposition whose figurehead was Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, exiled in Paris but still a potent political and religious force in Iran.

By early 1979, the corruption and brutality of the Shah's government led to a popular uprising which dethroned the Shah and returned Khomeini from exile to head a new, initially popular Islamic government. Most US and British citizens were evacuated from the country* during the chaotic early months of the new regime, and in November of that year a mob of Iranian "students" stormed and occupied the United States Embassy in Teheran, taking 66 American diplomats and civilian personnel hostage, of whom 52 were held for 444 days - being released on January 20, 1981, in a calculated insult to outgoing President Jimmy Carter.

The theocratic Islamic Regime soon became as repressive and brutal as the government it had replaced, implementing strict religious guidelines on dress and behavior, especially for women, and remained in power largely through the force of its Morality Police and the military Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC). The IRGC, in turn, became a major force in the Middle East, supporting terrorist attacks and Islamic fundamentalist movements throughout the region. 

Then, at some point, the Iranian regime looked around, considered the fates of weak nations at the hands of strong ones, and decided that it needed a nuclear weapon to ensure its survival in a dangerous neighborhood.

And here we are.

Allowing an extremist religious government to possess weapons of mass destruction is unthinkable … but is directly attacking Iran - punching the ultimate tar baby - the best way to prevent it from happening?

I don't pretend to be any sort of expert on Iran, religious extremism, nuclear weapons, the Middle East in general, or international politics, but I do like to think I'm a bit better informed on all those topics than most Americans ... and certainly than most in Der Furor's administration. Here's my take, for what it's worth:

It was stupid for Der Furor to scrap the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA, or "Iran Nuclear Deal") negotiated by the Obama administration. While not perfect (and what international agreement is?), it was by all accounts working to keep Iranian nuclear ambitions in check. Der Furor's hatred of President Obama and overblown belief in his own skill as a deal-maker undermined a functioning agreement without anything to replace it and with no incentives to the Iranians to negotiate further.

It was equally stupid to allow Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to maneuver a notoriously ill-informed and insecure president into directly supporting his war against Iran. A professional, well-functioning US government staffed with experts in international relations and supported by an independent, nonpartisan intelligence community would have offered wiser counsel than one staffed with sycophants whose primary skill is telling the president what he wants to hear.

So, where do we go from here?

I have no idea.

We have lost the last shreds of our ability to act as a neutral arbiter with Iran, and have allowed Israel to maneuver us into being its reluctant ally, to our clear detriment. We have a president besotted with the trappings of military power but ignorant of the realities and complexities of military planning and international diplomacy, a man increasingly mistrusted and sidelined by other world leaders. We have a deeply partisan government that refuses to hold that president to account and insist on the checks and balances the Founders wisely wrote into the Constitution. We have ... well, you get the idea.

Congress and the courts must once again exert their roles in government and bring rational government back to the nation and its international responsibilities, but I'm not holding my breath, and neither should you. Too many of us wanted a king, and now we have one, for better or worse.

The nation did reasonably well for almost 250 years, and we've managed to largely undo it in a mere five months. At this rate, it'll be a long, long time to the midterms and to the 2028 elections. I hope we make it.

Have a good day. More thoughts - happier ones, if possible - coming.

Bilbo

* As a young Air Force Captain, I actually played a part in that evacuation, but that's a story for another time.

Good Riddance, 2017

Today is the last day of 2017, a year I won't be sorry to see in the rear-view mirror.

I'm generally a pretty cheerful and upbeat fellow, but this was a year that challenged my ability to see the good in people and to make the best of tough times.

This was the year in which I mourned the precipitous decline of the country I proudly served in uniform for 23 years.

It was the year in which it became clear that mass murder - including the slaughter of children - had become an acceptable cost of the freedom to own as many weapons of as many types as one wishes.

It was the year in which my faith in the essential fairness of the justice system and those who administer it was severely shaken.

It was the year in which I watched my government relentlessly and recklessly dismantle consumer and environmental protections in the service of a governing philosophy that honors big business and the wealthy over the interest and welfare of average citizens and prudent preparation for the future.

It was the year in which my opinion of the fairness and goodwill for which Americans have always been known was diminished by the willingness of many of my fellow Americans to not only accept, but to praise and dignify the crude behavior of their elected officials.

I hate to end the year on a downer, but that's how it is ... if I didn't have the love of my family and a core of dedicated friends, I'd have just given up. I hope that the new year will be better than the old, and with the help of family and friends, I'm sure it will be. But a lot of the same political and social misery will still be here, and I fear I'll be writing a similar post a year from now.

If you are going out partying tonight, please be careful ... above all, don't drive if you've been drinking. I need you all to help get me through 2018.

Have a good day and a safe, happy new year celebration. Be sure to check in tomorrow, when we announce the Ass Clown of the Year for 2017 - don't forget to cast those last votes.

Bilbo

Last Working Day

Well, Dear Readers, this is it. I'm hanging up my spurs, taking down my shingle, cleaning out the drawers, etc, etc. Today is April 14th: my last working day.

I have been working in the Pentagon since 1992 ... until 1996 as an active-duty Air Force officer, and from 1996 to today as a contractor supporting various Air Force programs. I may hold the record for the largest number of employers while occupying the same desk - I was hired by GRCI, Inc, in 1996; GRCI was bought by AT&T in 2000; AT&T lost the contract four years later and I was taken on by Sverdrup Technology; and Sverdrup was later subsumed into Jacobs Technology, from which I retire effective today. During that time, I also changed office symbols about eight times, and the focus of my work changed from support to Air Force space programs to writing policies and instructions for the conduct of Air Force cyberspace operations. I also managed the office water fund, which generated no end of snarky comments from my co-workers who came up with creative ways of protesting having to pay their share of the bill each month ... the best one was the month the per capita share was $4.00, and one of my co-workers paid with four one-dollar bills, each one origami'd into a little shirt to symbolize that I was taking the shirt from his back ...

There are things I will not miss about working here:

I won't miss the complex tasks with ridiculous deadlines ... if the ultimate deadline is two weeks off, you may get two hours to read and digest a 200-page document and prepare a detailed summary with complete recommendations and an accompanying briefing so that each supervisory level above you has plenty of time to review and comment on your work, and the final reviewer has a few days to get around to looking at it ... and then criticize because you didn't do an adequate job of reviewing.

I won't miss the staffing games in which people are required to have your review and concurrence on something, but really don't want your input, and so drop it on you at 4:30 on Friday afternoon with a deadline of 9:00 AM Monday in the hope that you'll just say "screw it," and send it back with no comments.

I won't miss the perception that every government contractor is a useless bottom-feeder gorging at the government trough when, in fact, we're here because the government slashed the number of workers it had in order to save money, while not reducing the workload for those that remained. I can pretty much guarantee that things would grind to a halt without us. Admittedly, not every contractor is an upright and hard-working person, but then again, neither is every government employee.

I won't miss the commute, although riding the bus did provide time for reading in the morning and afternoon.

And there are things I will miss about working here:

I will miss working with some of the smartest and most dedicated people in the country, in an intellectually stimulating environment.

I will miss the adventure of working in the Pentagon, where there's always a new historical display around the next corner, and one of the best research libraries around. And where you never know when someone you knew five, ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago will suddenly appear ... many years ago I stepped out the door of the vault where I was working just as someone was stepping out the door of the vault across the hall ... my friend who threw the party at which Agnes and I met in Germany all those years ago!

I will miss knowing that the work I did, frustrating as it might have been, was important and provided valuable information and guidance for Air Force people around the world.

But it's time to move on. My contract ran out and the company that won the new contract offered me a position at a salary that was ... well ... let's just say that it was considerably far below what I was prepared to accept. And so I'm turning the page and seeing what life offers beyond writing policy for cyberspace operations ...

So ...

If you know anyone who is looking for an experienced announcer for dance and equestrian events, or someone who enjoys writing and editing, give them my name. But tell them not to call before 8:00 AM, because my days of getting up at 4:00 AM are over. And tell them not to call after 8:00 PM, because I like going to bed early unless there's a good party going on.

Have a good day. More thoughts in the days to come ... but posted a bit later than you're used to.

Bilbo