Monday, November 16, 2015

Musical Monday


Most of my favorite songs are from the genre often called "soft rock," but I also have favorites in a lot of other styles, to include comedy/satire (as you saw with Kid Creole's Endicott a few weeks back), rock, folk, R&B/soul, country, and others. In general, there's something I like in almost every genre except rap/hip-hop, which doesn't appeal to me in the least. Today's Musical Monday offering is a song from Grace Jones' album Warm Leatherette, and it's one of my favorites to hum at work ...



A bit salty on the language, but a song that can really speak to you, especially during election season.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Poetry Sunday


I think that anyone who runs for office any more has to be more than a little bit crazy, but a lot of the current crop of presidential wannabes are seriously abusing the privilege ... which brings me to this interesting little poem by Donald Justice ...

Counting the Mad
by Donald Justice

This one was put in a jacket,
This one was sent home,
This one was given bread and meat
But would eat none,
And this one cried No No No No
All day long.

This one looked at the window
As though it were a wall,
This one saw things that were not there,
This one things that were,
And this one cried No No No No
All day long.

This one thought himself a bird,
This one a dog,
And this one thought himself a man,
An ordinary man,
And cried and cried No No No No
All day long.


As we approach the 2016 elections, I think a great many of us, regardless of political affiliation, will be crying "no, no, no."

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Musical Monday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Cartoon Saturday


As we're still on vacation and away from Internet connectivity, today's edition of Cartoon Saturday will not have the usual current news introduction. But that's all right ... you can read the paper and cry on your own.

Today's selection of theme cartoons deals with a topic we haven't used for some time ... cartoons based on terrible puns ...

Fifty Shades of Grey may be awful from a literary perspective, but from a humorous one, it's the gift that just keeps on giving ...


Well, where else would you show it? ...


I'm glad I skipped this class ...


Sorry, but this one just stinks ...


You might have seen this one coming ...


As Mr Schwarzenegger might have said, "I'll be Bach" ...


Prehistoric Queen? ...


And then the trouble started ...


It's only about a month until Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits the theaters, and with that in mind, ...


And finally, when in Rome ...


That's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday. I think I'm going to be glad I'm out of town when Gonzo Dave gets hold of these puns ... I predict another major pun war coming on Facebook.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, November 13, 2015

Great Moments in Editing


And away we go ...

And they're not even from Dalmatia ...


I think women may feel the same way about some men ...


I guess he didn't have those bear arms everyone is always screaming about ...


Somehow, I don't think the trip was a success ...


Probably creationists ...


Oops ... my mistake ...


You should never take that little blue pill at the wrong time ... it makes it hard to hold the cello ...


I could use one of those ...


I'd love to have a job naming streets ...


And be sure to count your change when you stop for supplies ...


Editors ... what would we do without them. Oh ... yes, we know.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Monday, November 09, 2015

Musical Monday


Last week on Musical Monday we had an offering from the Cowboy Junkies - "Angel Mine" - that was a wonderfully mellow and beautiful song. Today, we stay in that vein with this evocative and lyrical love song - "Fields of Gold" ...



Have a good day. Enjoy the music. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Sunday, November 08, 2015

Poetry Sunday


Some people believe that everything in life is pre-ordained, that the course of our lives has already been mapped out and set down even before we were born, and that we are powerless to change our destinies. I don't happen to believe that, but it does make a useful hook on which to hang today's Poetry Sunday offering ...

Calvin's Theory of Predestination
by Betsy Johnson-Miller


Some people will be chosen
for the job, the Wednesday night poker game

for the limited number of spaces
available in heaven. Only so many

spoons fit in one drawer your mother
would say

and the same is true for clothes
and closets

shelves and cans and let's be honest
hearts and loves.

I cannot love you because I love another
is a problem

that sometimes gets admitted
over wine

in a restaurant
filled with people choosing

this dish over that meat
choosing something that will fill

the middle of their beings
or leave them slavering like a cheetah

who missed and pass that
would you? and let's be friends. Yes

let's drink to being friends
and then we can all go on our way

remembering the best part
about being chosen is that

you do not have to stop
for anyone along the way.


I'm glad you chose to stop here along the way and share this little bit of time with me.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Musical Monday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Cartoon Saturday


A week into November, and in retrospect October didn't really look so bad ...

A Russian airliner that crashed in Egypt, killing everyone on board, appears to have been destroyed by a bomb planted on board; police in Chicago said that a 9-year-old boy murdered this week was lured into an alley and shot in a gang-related attack; a newly-announced Mormon church policy considers church members in same-sex marriages as apostates whose children will be barred from baptism and church membership; according to a recent study, the blistering hot days that are a result of climate change are bringing down the birth rate in the United States by diminishing Americans' sex drive; and people all across the political spectrum have a new reason to hate President Obama, who on Friday officially killed the infamous Keystone XL pipeline project.

This week, in honor of our hard-working Congress and the legion of nonentities running for President, our theme is ... what else? ... clowns.

If the hair is orange, I'm pretty sure I know which clown this one applies to ...


It's the economy, stupid ...


I'll bet you didn't know that there are specialized versions of PowerPoint for various occupations ...


One of the most widely-known clown routines is the one about the little car that holds ... well ... a lot of clowns. The next few cartoons riff on that theme ...


I've been in elevators like this one ...


Off to work ...


You had to see this one coming ...


There are a lot of clowns out there selling used cars ...


What clown parents learn ...


And finally, it takes a great deal of education to be a good clown ...


Enough clowing around ... that's it for today's edition of Cartoon Saturday.

Here's a special note for all of my valued readers out there: later this morning, Agnes and I will be headed out for our long-anticipated vacation. Because I won't have Internet access while we're away, this blog will not appear every day as you've come to expect. I have prepared and scheduled all the regular features (Editorial Gems, Cartoon Saturday, Poetry Sunday, and Musical Monday) through Monday, November 16th, so you won't miss out on those. Regular daily posts will pick back up on Tuesday, November 17th.

Have a good day, be safe, and I'll see all you back here in about a week and a half. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, November 06, 2015

The Right Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2015


Yes, Dear Readers, it’s a new month and it’s time to nominate

The Right Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2015


I won’t belabor the usual point about how difficult it is to pick a single nominee from the swirling cesspool of worthy candidates, but this time I think there’s a choice leading the rest of the pack … and not only that, but our awardee is also a two-time* previous winner. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Right Cheek Ass Clown for November – receiving his third award -

Donald Trump


The number of abysmal candidates seeking the nation’s highest office without any sort of qualification for the job is larger than ever, but Mr Trump has risen above all others with his grandstanding, his championship of utterly stupid ideas**, and his despicable treatment of other candidates and other people in general. This past week, Mr Trump described Debbie Wasserman Schultz, chair of the Democratic National Committee, as “crazy” and “a highly neurotic woman,” before summing up by saying "This is a woman that is a terrible person."

I take no position on whether or not Mr Trump’s characterization of Ms Wasserman-Schultz is accurate or not. But a person who wishes to be elected President of the United States – to be the face our country puts forward to the world as our chosen leader – probably ought to be a bit more temperate in his speech, if not overtly intelligent. Mr Trump has shown himself to be a thin-skinned, petty tyrant bereft of useful ideas for the country’s future … and he’s continually shown himself to be a mean-spirited blowhard who replaces good ideas with bitter and spiteful ad hominem attacks on those he feels are beneath him ... which is just about everybody.

For his total unworthiness to be President, and his consistent use of the attack as a way of deflecting attention from the bankruptcy of his own ideas, Donald Trump is named our Right Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2015.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when you'll have something you're supposed to laugh at. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* April 17, 2011 and July 3, 2015.

** Yes, I’m sure Mexico will be delighted to pay for that wall.

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Old Farmers' Wisdom


My old (by the which I mean, matured like a fine wine) high school friend Linda recently posted these elements of old farmers' wisdom on her Facebook page. I think they're worth repeating, even if you've heard some of them before:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. (Politicians, too)

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.

Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge. (I'm carrying a pretty big grudge, as you know if you read my zodiac post, so I guess I'm failing on this one)

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached. (A point lost on many hyper-religious types)

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life … then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you. (Heaven knows I've thought about it)

Most times, it just gets down to common sense. (Except in Congress)

Have a good day. And if you criticize farmers, don't do it with your mouth full.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

The 30-Day Writing Challenge: Someone Who Fascinates Me and Why


We return today to my latest stab at the 30-Day Writing Challenge, taking on the topic of "Someone Who Fascinates Me, And Why."

Today is November 4th, and it's the birthday of one of my heroes: cowboy, actor, vaudeville performer, comedian, writer, and political commentator Will Rogers.


William Penn Adair Rogers was born into a Cherokee family in Oologah, Oklahoma*, in 1879. He worked as a cowboy, learning the roping skills that he would later turn into a successful stage act in vaudeville. He travelled around the world, working various jobs from Argentina to South Africa, ending up as a trick roper in "Texas Jack's Wild West Circus."

He was friendly, hard-working, and well-read, and he eventually moved from the circus to vaudeville and then to the movies, where his down-home, folksy demeanor and multiple skills eventually led to a radio program and a wildly popular syndicated newspaper column. He was a master of satirical commentary, with none of the bitter, ad-hominem attacks that are so common today. It was Will Rogers who first made such notable comments as, "I am not a member of an organized political party. I am a Democrat," and, "I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

His humorous, often earthy anecdotes and friendly style allowed him to poke fun at figures across the political spectrum, without personal spite or intentionally giving offense ... his tremendous popularity was a reflection of his easygoing, yet insightful personality.

Will Rogers didn't think much of what he viewed as untruthful and unseemly political campaigning. As a way of lampooning political campaigns, he ran a mock campaign for president in 1928 as the candidate of the "No-Bunk Party" against Republican Herbert Hoover and Democrat Al Smith ... on election day, he grandly declared victory and immediately resigned. When asked if there should be debates between the candidates, he replied, "Yes, joint debates — in any joint you name." He was asked what the nation's farmers needed, and answered, "A punch in the jaw if (they believe) that either of the parties cares a damn about (them) after the election." And when asked about the importance of a candidate's image, he snorted, "I hope there is some sane people who will appreciate dignity and not showmanship in their choice for the presidency**."

Will Rogers was killed in an airplane crash in 1935, along with his friend Wiley Post. His death, in my opinion, marked the end of an era in which good humor and gentle satire could be used to skewer the pompous and the useless. I've often wished I could have known Will Rogers, whose style and demeanor I've tried to emulate with much of what I've written. He would probably thought me to be a bit mean-spirited because of my Right- and Left-Cheek Ass Clown awards, but I'm pretty sure he'd have approved the selections ... and done a better job of satirizing the recipients than I.

Dear Readers, Will Rogers is the person who fascinates me, and he's assured of a seat at the table on my Last Supper List.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* It was called "Indian Territory" at the time.

** You'd think he foresaw the coming of Donald Trump.