Thursday, November 10, 2016

Odds and Ends


Today is the day I need to use to catch up after the busy last few days, and so I thought I'd just share a few last election-related things with you ...

I've decided to be cautiously hopeful as we move forward, but given what I've heard and observed over the last 18 months or so, I'm going to keep an eye on the dread supply just in case ...



 This is absolutely the best "Bridgegate" cartoon I've seen ...


I'm combing all the stuff I got from Medicare and Kaiser to see if the Bombay Sapphire Gin version of this is covered ...


Ah, the smell of ... uh ... never mind ...


You have. You just don't realize it yet ...


That's all for now. Enjoy the bright fall day if you live here in NoVa, and no matter where you live, prepare to make the best of the next four years. They're gonna be interesting.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for November's first collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

The Day After the Election


It's ten minutes past nine on the morning of November 9th as I start to write this post, and the bitterly-fought and divisive election of 2016 is now history, even as its repercussions are not. I'll have more to say about that later. For now, I'd like to tell you about my experiences yesterday, when I served for the first time as a sworn election officer working at my local polling place. I think it's instructive.

It all began a few months back when I saw a notice at the local library, seeking volunteers to work as "officers of election" in support of the November election. I decided to sign on, which required me to present myself at the county Office of Elections, prove my identity and citizenship, fill out an application, and swear an oath*. A few weeks later, I was accepted and scheduled for training. This training involved identifying allowable forms of photo identification, setting up, operating, and closing down the various machines used in the electoral process, and general operation of a polling place. I learned that we would serve at our precinct under the direction of a Chief and a Deputy Chief Officer of Election (representing different parties), and about how to deal with the partisan "poll-watchers" who were expected to be watching every move we made in search of the least hint of any fraud or irregularity**.

Between the training and election day, we were encouraged to visit the county election site on YouTube frequently to keep abreast of any changes in procedures, and to review what we'd learned so as to be ready to go on election day. We each received a formal notice of assignment to a particular precinct, although we had to agree to work at another precinct should that be required, and each of us got a phone call from our Chief a few days ahead of time to verify our continued availability and confirm the time at which we were asked to report - no later than 4:50 AM - to finalize setup and get ready to open the polls at 6:00 AM.

Election Day ...

I got up at 3:45 and left the house at 4:15 for the half-hour walk to my assigned polling station at the local elementary school. I arrived at 4:45, and several other officials were already there, including our Chief and her Deputy. A number of people (not including me) had been asked to come in on the previous day to set up the polling place (arrange tables and chairs, put up official signs, etc), and so the room was pretty much ready for us to make the final arrangements.

We carefully unpacked, set up, turned on, and updated the various electronic devices used for the election. For checking in registered voters, we used for the first time "Poll Pads" - iPads which were loaded with scanning software and the full database of registered voters. Voters marked preprinted, optically-scannable ballots which were read by special scanning/recording devices which maintained a paper record of the results and securely stored the original ballots ... we were responsible for setting up and turning on the scanners, and for verifying that the counts were all set to zero. There was also a special "Express Vote" machine available for voters with hearing and visual impairments ... we set up and verified this machine as well.

We had completed all our preparations by 5:55, and the Chief assembled us all to take a final oath of service. At exactly 6:00 AM we opened the doors ... and it was off to the races.


For the first two hours, we worked our way through an enormous crowd of voters, the first of whom had arrived and started the line before 5:00. At 6:00, in 37° weather, the line snaked through the building, out into the parking lot, and down the street. Here's how it all worked:

The first person a voter met on arrival was a "greeter," who directed him (or her) to the right voting precinct ... we had two voting precincts (Saratoga and Alban) both using the local elementary school, and the greeters tried as much as possible to make sure that voters went initially to the correct precinct.

Voters then waited in line at their assigned precinct, where they met the registry checkers. This was my first assignment for the day. Our job was to ask each voter for their photo ID, check their image against the picture***, verify that the ID was current, and then check their names against our Poll Pads. The Poll Pads were networked to the Chief's station, and each one contained the full database of registered Fairfax County voters, updated that morning with the latest record from the Office of Elections. The best form of ID from our perspective was a Virginia driver's license or a DMV-issued photo ID (a so-called "walker's license"), because they a scannable bar code that we could read with the Poll Pad's camera. The Pad used the scanned bar code to call up the voter's name from the database - we asked them to confirm name and address, repeated the information for the poll-watcher, and then gave the properly-identified voter a purple ballot card, which he or she would exchange for a ballot at the next station.

The use of the Poll Pads tremendously speeded up the in-processing of the voters, compared to the old system of checking each person against a printed registry book. They updated the database immediately to record each person as they checked in (preventing people from voting in multiple locations), showed us which voters had already been issued absentee ballots†, and allowed us to steer a voter who had come to the wrong place to the correct precinct. The downside was that it allowed us to check in voters so quickly that we often ended up with traffic jams as checked-in voters backed up at the table where they were issued their ballots.

But I'm getting ahead of myself ...

Once we checked in each voter and gave them their ballot card, the person went to the next station, where they exchanged the card for an official ballot. When they had their ballot, another election officer directed them to an available privacy desk (we had about 30) to fill them out.

Once the voter had marked his or her ballot, they brought it to one of the two optical scanning units to be tabulated. One election officer manned each scanner (this was my second assignment for the day), and our job was to make sure each voter inserted the ballot properly into the scanner and wait until it had been scanned and accepted. We were not allowed to touch or look at anyone's ballot††, ... just to make sure the voter inserted it and that it scanned properly. When we'd verified that the ballot had properly scanned, we presented the voter with an "I Voted!" sticker (and a "Future Voter" sticker for any accompanying children) and guided them out of the polling area.

Of note about the scanners: occasionally, the scanner would reject a ballot. There were several typical reasons for this: the voter didn't fill in the appropriate bubbles completely; the voter accidentally voted for too many candidates; the voter failed to make a selection for a particular race; or the voter made extraneous marks on the ballot. If the ballot was rejected by the scanner, the voter was offered the opportunity to either submit the ballot "as is"††† or exchange it for a new blank ballot§ to start over.

After the initial surge of voters at the opening (which didn't finally clear out until after 8:00 AM, in spite of how quickly we were able to get people checked in and processed), we seldom had a quiet period all day - the flow of voters was quite steady, and we were almost never without something to do ... I finally got to eat my sandwich for lunch at about 2:00 PM.

The polls closed at 7:00 PM, and we moved on to our closing assignments. It's important to note that every action involving any of the electronic devices required a minimum of two (three, when available) persons to observe and confirm each action, and the partisan poll-watchers were invited to observe every step of every action. I worked with two other election officers to shut down and secure the Express Voting machine; other teams secured the Poll Pads and the optical scanners.

The scanners, as the heart of the voting process, received special attention. Several copies of the paper record of scanned votes were printed, and the internal boxes of stored, scanned ballots were locked and sealed.

The Chief Officer and her Deputy worked with a group of other officers to document the "Summary of Results" (or "SOR"), which was the official record of the results of the election for our precinct. Every count was verified by at least two individuals, and every entry on the final report was similarly verified. All the final paperwork, all the original seals from the machines, and all the seal numbers from the machines at the end of the day were recorded and verified. Once all this had been done, the official results were phoned in to the Office of Elections and were posted on the door of the polling place ... and we were done, shortly after 9:00 PM.


It was a very long, but very satisfying day. Here are a few of my general observations:

Within the polling station, everyone operated with the utmost of nonpartisan professionalism. While we were a mix of Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, there was no rancor or discussion of the candidates, even when voters tried to draw us into debate. We took our responsibilities very seriously.

All of the election officers tried to make the voting experience a good one for all voters. At the adjoining Alban precinct, the registry checkers let out a loud cheer and round of applause for every new, first-time voter. In the Saratoga precinct, we didn't do that, but we were unfailingly pleasant, professional, and cheerful with every voter.

Almost all voters were cheerful and upbeat, even those who waited in the long, very cold line early in the morning. While there were some who were sour and nasty, they were in a very small minority.

We received no pushback from anyone on the issue of voter identification. Everyone accepted the need to positively identify voters, and we got nothing but support from voters who had appeared at the wrong precinct and had to be referred elsewhere, or whose identification had to be verified because it didn't match the registration database (wrong address, name spelling didn't match, etc). It was a very heartening display of civic responsibility and community in a particularly rancorous campaign season.

We got a lot of compliments on the way we checked people in and kept the long lines moving. The reaction to the Poll Pads was very positive. Some voters wanted to know how we could prove that their vote had been counted ... we stressed that a paper trail was being kept, and that every scanned ballot was being saved to be recounted if necessary. Nevertheless, a few people seemed to firmly believe the idea that the election had somehow been "rigged," and that their vote would not count. Nothing we could say changed those minds.

The most unpleasant event of the day occurred when a voter came in and was very loudly angry about the Democratic party representatives outside the polling place who were distributing Democratic sample ballots. He was furious, demanding to know why we didn't have any Republican party representatives out doing the same thing. We had to remind him that we, as election officers, were officially impartial and had absolutely nothing to do with partisan activity beyond the 200-foot boundary around the polling place, and that if he was so upset, he needed to contact his local party representatives. As it turned out, the Republicans did eventually turn out, about an hour after the Democrats did.

It was, as I said before, a very long day. While I am not happy with the result, I'll try to remain positive and hope for the best. And I will definitely volunteer to do this again. The best way to oppose the accusations against the fairness and impartiality of our election system is to work within it and see how it works from the inside ... to see how many checks and verifications of every single thing are required to prevent cheating or fraud.

Today, I'm very tired, but glad to have done my part to support this most valuable of our freedoms - the freedom to choose our elected leaders. While we may not always like the results, we do have the opportunity and the responsibility to vote and to take part in the machinery of government.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* "I, _______________________, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the Commonwealth of Virginia and that I will faithfully and impartially discharge all the duties incumbent upon me as an Officer of Election of Fairfax County according to the best of my ability (so help me God)."

** Ignore them, unless they attempted to interfere with our work, in which case we were to refer them to the Chief or Deputy Chief. As it happened, we had only one poll-watcher at my precinct, she was registered as a Democrat, and she was very professional and personable.

*** We were taught that the photo had to "substantially resemble" the person ... after all, whose driver's license photo actually looks like them?

† We had several people who had been issued absentee ballots in expectation of travel or for other reasons, but who did not use them ... these people were allowed to vote in person if they turned in their unopened absentee ballot package for accounting. 

†† There was a provision for us to provide assistance to a voter (typically one who was somehow disabled) who requested it, but this was very tightly controlled and required multiple levels of approval and documentation before we could do anything.

††† This was only available for the situation in which a voter did not mark a selection for a particular race ... we had several voters who acknowledged that they did not want to make a choice, and submitted their ballots as marked.

§ The original, erroneously-marked ballot was marked "spoiled" and kept for separate accounting at the end of the day.

Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Election Day, 2016


No post today - I'm working as an election officer at my local precinct from 5:00 AM until everything is packed and accounted for tonight. Be sure to do your duty as a citizen and cast your vote. We may wish for better candidates, but we go to the polls with the ones we have ... and if you don't vote, you forfeit the right to complain for the next four years.


Have a good day. Vote. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Monday, November 07, 2016

Final Thoughts Before the Election


Tomorrow, people across America will go to the polls to decide which of two flawed candidates will be our next president. If, like me, you're sick of the whole distasteful thing, just skip this post and tomorrow's post and come back in a few days for a return to my usual kvetching about this and that. If, however, you are interested in my final pre-event thoughts on this ugly circus*, read on.

Because I'll be working tomorrow at my local precinct as an election official and am likely to be very busy all day, I voted early ... and with gritted teeth. The candidate for whom I voted was Hillary Clinton, and this is why.

Let me say first of all that, in a more rational political world, I would not have to choose between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. I would have a choice between two parties fronted by admirable, statesmanlike candidates with honest philosophical differences in their approach to government and a sincere, pragmatic vision for where they would like to take 21st-century America. Sadly, neither party offers such a vision**.

Many people more famous, better-educated, and more intelligent than I have explained in tremendous detail all the reasons Donald Trump is catastrophically unqualified and would be a disastrous choice as president. I'm not going to waste your time reiterating all of them ... I'll just say that anyone who votes for a man like Mr Trump will have to answer for the consequences should he be elected.

Likewise, many famous, better-educated, and more intelligent people have explained in tremendous detail all the reasons Hillary Clinton should not be president. On study and reflection, I find many - if not most - of these reasons to be short-sighted, if not stupid. My main issue with Secretary Clinton is not that she is, either temperamentally or by experience, unqualified to serve as president, but that she displayed staggeringly bad judgement back at the dawn of the home e-mail server controversy. Is she a "congenital liar?" She's a professional politician - it goes with the territory***. Does she belong in jail? Considering that she's never been convicted of anything, no. Benghazi!!! Sure ... let's waste a few million more dollars on more investigations and give Congress another excuse for not doing anything useful.

We are faced with two unappealing choices for president, and two parties that have proven unresponsive to the needs and desires of ordinary Americans who are unable to pay for the Platinum-PlusTM level of representation available to the wealthy and well-connected. A world that used to look to America as a beacon of democracy and common sense is horrified at our epidemic of political and economic foot-shooting.

I voted with gritted teeth for the person I believe is by far the better of two unappealing options, and am not looking forward to the next four years, regardless of who wins.

Have a good day. Vote your conscience and your common sense, but vote. I'll be back after the election.

Bilbo

* I'm reminded of a comment made by a grizzled old lieutenant colonel many years ago when he was forced to march in a change-of-command parade in the broiling sun at Barksdale AFB. Standing behind me in the formation of wing officers that our commander had decreed would lead the parade, the older man grumbled under his breath, "The only difference between this parade and a Shriners' parade is that in a Shriners' parade, the clowns are all smiling."

** You may recall that last month, I brought back a national vision I first proposed back in 2008 - "A prosperous America within secure borders, enjoying peaceful relations with all nations." Wouldn't it have been nice to hear something like that instead of bitter attack ads?

*** How can anyone accuse Hillary Clinton of being a "congenital liar" and not say the same of Donald Trump - a man who not only lies constantly but - when confronted with absolute proof of his lies, simply doubles down and says the same stuff, louder, to cheering crowds?

Sunday, November 06, 2016

Poetry Sunday


One of the most enjoyable - and frustrating - of pastimes is taking a walk with a young child. They have the sense of wonder and joy that we've lost through years of living and cynicism, and they ask the innocent questions we can't answer ... not the ugly ones like which crooked, lying loser are you going to vote for?. This poem by David Wagoner speaks to the joy and the challenge of walking with a young child ...

Walking around the Block with a Three-Year Old 
by David Wagoner 

She sees a starling legs-up in the gutter.
She finds an earthworm limp and pale in a puddle.
What’s wrong with them? she says. I tell her they’re dead.
She scowls at me. She stares at her short shadow
And makes it dance in the road. She shakes its head.
Daddy, you don’t look pretty, she says. I agree.
She stomps on a sewer grid where the slow rain
Is vanishing. Do you want to go down there?
I tell her no. Neither do I she says.
She picks up a stone. This is an elephant.
Because it’s heavy, smooth, slate gray, and hers,
I tell her it’s very like an elephant.
We’re back. The starling is gone. Where did it go?
She says. I tell her I don’t know, maybe
A cat took it away. I think it’s lost.
I tell her I think so too. But can’t you find it?
I tell her I don’t think so. Let’s go look.
I show her my empty hands, and she takes one.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt ...


Have a good day, and enjoy the wonderful fall weather this weekend ... perfect for that walk with the younger generation.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 05, 2016

Cartoon Saturday


The election is just three days away ... plenty of time for either (a) sanity to prevail or (b) things to go on as they have been. Sigh.

Mexican government officials are creating a contingency plan to deal with shocks to Mexico's economy should Donald Trump win the election; a New York City police sergeant was killed and another officer was wounded Friday afternoon in a shootout with a home invasion suspect; fake news stories are on the rise, fueled by political extremism and a credulous public willing to believe anything without proof if it matches their preconceptions; hard-right militias are preparing for the possibility of a new president they believe will confiscate their guns; and in Ohio, a federal judge has warned Donald Trump campaign against the intimidation of minority voters.

This week, because the political news is so depressing, I've decided to go for some funny puns to take our minds off the slime. Hope you agree.

Think about it ...


Oy ...


Sorry about that, Ms Garten ...


I always thought there was more depth to Quasimodo than the book brought out ...


As they say, the pasta is prologue ...


It's a cheesy pun ... get over it ...


Squeeze me instead. Offer applies only to ladies ...


I will smite him with a bolt ...


Hmmm ... we'd better call in the Bureau on this one ...


The commander had a lot of explaining to do ...


And with only a few days to go until the most depressing and disgusting presidential election I can remember, this has been my attempt to distract you from the swirling political cesspool. It's the best I can do for those who either can't or don't want to think about the consequences.

It looks as if we're in for a spell of glorious fall weather for the next week or so, with cool temperatures and bright sunshine for the foreseeable future. Great conditions for some nice long walks.

Agnes and I went to the movies yesterday (weekday matinee and senior discount, yay!) to see "Jack Reacher: Never Go Back." We both enjoy the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child, and were generally pleased with the film, which had at least a nodding acquaintance to the plot of the book. The title character is described in the book as a 6-and-a-half foot tall, 250 pound, blond man, so the more diminutive Tom Cruise was a bit of a jarring note, although he did pretty well capture the mannerisms of Jack Reacher. I give it four stars for entertainment value and five stars for the excuse to go on a date with my main squeeze. It's better escapist entertainment than Faux News.

Have a good day and a great weekend. See you tomorrow for Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

P.S. - Don't forget to set your clocks BACK one hour before you go to bed tonight. "Spring forward, fall back," remember?

B.

Friday, November 04, 2016

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2016


A new month is here, the election is just days away, and it's time to name our

Right-Cheek Ass Clown
for
November 2016


I made my selection and wrote this post earlier in the week, before other news surfaced that made me reconsider my initial choice and decide instead to present a dual award. The first goes to -

FBI Director James Comey


The FBI's motto is "Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity," and Mr Comey demolished the "fidelity" and "integrity" parts by injecting a huge blast of partisan innuendo into the already-fraught presidential campaign when he announced that an FBI investigation of another case had revealed "new" e-mails which might or might not have any bearing on the case of Hillary Clinton's infamous personal e-mail server. Mr Comey succeeded in doing the nearly impossible - getting both Republicans and Democrats to condemn the announcement, which had produced no facts or firm information, but served only to inflame partisan passions in an already-overheated political season.

In any normal season, Mr Comey's blatant politicization of the authority of the nation's premier law enforcement agency would have made him a clear winner of our award. However, this is far from a normal season, and so I have decided to make a second award for this period, to



The simple fact of having put forward the most staggeringly unqualified and distasteful candidate in history might have qualified the GOP for this award, but the party's positions, comments, and attitudes as the election approaches would have made it a lock other than for the actions of FBI Director Comey.

Consider this depressing article from today's Washington Post - Republicans Are Now Vowing Total War. And the Consequences Could Be Immense. While the title of the article may be overly hyperbolic, the GOP actions it describes are not. Here are two verbatim excerpts from the article, including the original embedded links:

"High-ranking Republican officeholders are now suggesting that they may impeach Clinton as soon as she takes office. These are not just backbench nutbars of the Louie Gohmert variety, but people with genuine power, including Ron Johnson, the senator from Wisconsin, Michael McCaul, the chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, and veteran legislators like James Sensenbrenner and Peter King. The message is being echoed by top Trump surrogates like Rudy Giuliani.

"There is a growing movement among Republicans in the Senate to simply refuse to approve any nominee appointed by a Democratic president to the Supreme Court, leaving open any and all vacancies until a Republican can be elected to fill them."

In every previous election in the American democracy, the people made their choice and the two parties grudgingly kissed, made up, and went on with the often-messy business of government. This year, one party is openly stating that it will, if it loses the election, not only refuse to work with the new president, but to begin impeachment actions immediately. That party is openly stating that it will do everything in its power to paralyze the government and continue the partisan lunacy that has made us a laughingstock around the world. That party is the GOP.

With only four days left until the election, I present the Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award jointly to FBI Director James Comey for his shameless partisan meddling in the political process, and to the Republican Party for it's deliberate and shameful refusal to work with its political opponents to conduct the nation's business.

It's enough to make you cry.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll try to find something to laugh at.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, November 03, 2016

New Standard Required


Now that the Chicago Cubs, after a 108-year drought, have won the World Series, we need to come up with a new standard expression for things that have no chance of happening. "When the Cubs win the Series" can't be used any more, and "When hell freezes over" is overused. Here are a few suggestions ...

"When the FBI stops finding e-mails."

"When the Republicans come up with a plan to replace Obamacare."

"When the Democrats come up with a realistic economic policy."

"When the Chinese stop building islands."

"When Donald Trump gives a coherent speech without insulting anyone."

Any other suggestions? Leave a comment.

The election is less than a week away ... be sure you vote if you are eligible. It's your duty as a citizen.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday, November 02, 2016

An Interview You Ought to Read


Michael Hayden* had a well-rounded career in the world of intelligence. He was a career intelligence officer in the Air Force, rising through the ranks to retire as a full general. He served as the commander of the Air Force's Air Intelligence Agency**, Principal Deputy Director of National Intelligence, Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, and Director of the National Security Agency. When he talks about matters related to the world of intelligence, you need to listen.

Take a few minutes to read this interview with Playboy magazine (which is as famous for the quality of its interviews as for its other ... features). It's the best thing you'll read about the world of intelligence any time soon.

And if you like it, take your happy backside to the library and check out General Hayden's fascinating memoir Playing to the Edge.

Everyone watches television series and Jason Bourne movies and thinks he's an expert on intelligence. Let yourself be educated by a real expert.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* A fellow Pittsburgher, no less!

** Now known, after numerous changes of name, as 25th Air Force.

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Going for the Bigger Boom


Because I'm a history buff, every day I check out various websites that offer lists of what happened on that day. It's important to know where we've been so that we can contemplate where we're going ... as George Santayana once memorably said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Less well-known is another of Mr Santayana's comments about history -

"The picture we frame of the past changes continually and grows every day less similar to the original experience which it purports to describe."

We can see this every day in the loudly-held opinions of those who absolutely know that: (a) the United States was founded as an explicitly Christian nation; and (b) the Founders absolutely believed that the most important right of every citizen was to be armed to the teeth.

But I digress. Here's something that actually, provably happened in the past ...

On November 1st, 1952, the United States tested the first large hydrogen bomb - a weapon with a yield of ten megatons (the equivalent of ten million tons of TNT). Not to be outdone, on October 30th, 1961, the Soviet Union tested the so-called Tsar Bomb, a nuclear weapon with a yield of 50 megatons ... the most powerful weapon ever developed. By way of comparison, the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki - the last nuclear weapon actually used in war - had a yield of 21 kilotons (21,000 tons of TNT) ... a pretty enormous explosion in its own right.

Think about this for a moment.

Other than the atomic age comparison of manly appendages, what is the military purpose of a bomb with a yield of ten million ... or fifty million ... tons of TNT?  Consider this map, which diagrams a theoretical explosion of the Tsar Bomb over the city of Paris -


The yellow circle in the center represents the size of the initial fireball of the explosion, while the larger red circle represents the "zone of total destruction."

I suppose that this represents the ultimate end of the argument that you'e got to have an AR-15 with a 100-round drum magazine for self-defense ... because you never know when some miscreant in the airport will have a gun with a 50-round magazine. 

Have a good day. Think about all the better things on which we could be spending our money and our scientific talent. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo