Friday, January 13, 2017

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2017


It's a new year, which offers us the opportunity to heap well-deserved dishonor on deserving ass clowns ... and judging from the news, there will be no shortage of candidates.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it's time to announce our first awardee of the year,

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for 2017


and the dishonor goes to


Unless you've been living in a cave in Outer Mongolia, you've heard of the uproar caused when the online news site BuzzFeed published an unverified document containing highly salacious "opposition research" about president-elect Donald Trump. The document had been provided to the president-elect as part of his intelligence briefing on Russian attempts to influence the presidential election, and was intended to warn Mr Trump of material which could be used to influence blackmail him. Someone leaked the document - which had been widely circulating in Washington for some time - to a number of news agencies, virtually all of which declined to publish it because it was both unverified and not verifiable, but BuzzFeed decided to go public with it.

Leaving aside the propriety of airing such inflammatory and unverified material, BuzzFeed's ill-considered action has helped Mr Trump do what he does best - change the topic of discussion to divert attention from legitimate issues and concerns. Publication of the document damages the image of the Intelligence Community and allows Mr Trump to continue his depiction of legitimate news agencies as unfair and politically biased against him*.

For their despicable airing of unverified information, which has caused untold damage to the image and moral authority of the press and the authority and integrity of the Intelligence Community, BuzzFeed is named as our Right-Cheek Ass Clown for the month of January, 2017.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, January 12, 2017

The Trump Thesaurus


This post is an expanded version of a shorter item I posted to Facebook yesterday. Sorry if you're having to read it twice ...

Yesterday, January 11th, President-Elect Donald Trump held his first formal press conference since July 27th of last year*. It lasted about an hour, a large part of which was taken up by an introduction in which incoming press secretary Sean Spicer yelled at the assembled press corps, a fawning introduction by Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence, a prepared statement by Mr Trump, and a lengthy presentation by Mr Trump's legal counsel Sheri Dillon concerning his plans for addressing conflict of interest issues. The actual amount of time spent evading answering questions was, thus, fairly limited, and that was probably not a bad thing, given that there was very little specific information provided to a press corps that Mr Trump clearly despises unless it reports on him with fawning adoration.

Here's my linguistic take on the news conference:

(1) Mr Trump tends to use adjectives describing expected results rather than nouns defining what those results will be.

(2) Things Mr Trump does or likes are "amazing," "brilliant," "fantastic," "tremendous," "huge," "phenomenal," and "total."

(3) Things Mr Trump does not like are "a disgrace," "dishonest," "sad," "pathetic," "failing," and "unfair."

(4) The adjective "unfair" is most often used to describe news coverage with which the president-elect is not pleased.

(4) The adverb "very" is liberally (pardon the expression) used to intensify the adjectives that take the place of nouns in Mr Trump's remarks.

He's easy to cover from a linguistic standpoint ... a particularly large vocabulary is not required.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The Washington Post last October 6th documented 71 times that Mr Trump or his surrogates had criticized Senator Clinton for not holding a press conference - as of that date, she had not held one for more than 270 days. When Mr Trump finally held his press berating conference on January 11th, it had been 168 days since his last press conference on July 27th, 2016. Just sayin'.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

"Copulatory Vocalization"


Warning! This post is for adults only ...

There's an old joke in which a fellow complains that he got a sweater for Christmas, when what he'd really wanted was a moaner or a screamer.

Which brings us to today's topic: noise during sex.

If you watch a television show or movie which contains a sex scene*, one of the things you'll notice is that there's a considerable level of noise being made, usually by the woman. Why is this? Other activities can be very pleasurable as well, but we don't usually hear the participants screaming and gasping during, say, an exciting game of gin rummy.

As it happens, other people have investigated this very issue, as you can read in this article by Ian Kerner from last November: Why Some Make So Much Noise During Sex. In the article, Mr Kerner discusses a 2011 study on "copulatory vocalization" conducted by two university researchers, in which 71 sexually active heterosexual women were questioned about the sounds they made during sex. What the researchers found was that many of the noises the women made did not equate to her having an orgasm, but to her attempts to speed up their partner's climax and boost his self-esteem, or to relieve boredom, fatigue, and pain or discomfort during sex. The abstract of the study notes that,

"These data together clearly demonstrate a dissociation of the timing of women experiencing orgasm and making copulatory vocalizations and indicate that there is at least an element of these responses that are under conscious control, providing women with an opportunity to manipulate male behavior to their advantage."


Well, I can't speak for all men, but having my behavior manipulated through copulatory vocalizations is preferable to having it manipulated by fake news and political ass-clownery. And the copulatory vocalizations usually don't last more than four hours.

Have a good day. Vocalize to your heart's content.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* That would be just about all of them except A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Why Not a Single Payer?


As the GOP flexes its newly-found muscles, ready to exercise the mandate it thinks it has, one of the biggest issues on the table is the future of the American health care system. The GOP has thundered for years that the Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare") is the devil's tool and will lead to the utter destruction of America and all things we hold dear, and their mantra has been "repeal and replace." Unfortunately, while they are laser-focused on repealing the ACA, they have nothing with which to replace it. This is not comforting news for the millions of people who will lose their insurance if the ACA is killed without a working replacement.


One of the options for fixing health care in this country is the much-maligned single-payer system*, under which a single nationwide insurance system administered by a government agency replaces the existing array of private insurance plans. From a conservative point of view, the single-payer option is a horrifying, socialist plot that will destroy America and establish government-run "death panels" that will decree who will live and who will die based on the projected cost of their care. But is the single-payer option as bad as it's made out to be? I recently ran across an Internet meme that proposed ten reasons for adopting a single-payer system, which seems to be a good starting point for discussing the pros and cons of such a system. Of course, my comments have been added, and I have other comments at the end:

1. Everybody in, nobody out. The primary attraction of a single-payer system is that it provides universal coverage. It would be financed by a tax, much as Social Security and Medicare are today.

2. Portability: change jobs, get divorced, lose your job, etc - you won't lose coverage. With the current system, which relies on insurance purchased through and provided by one's employer, coverage goes away when the job does. A single-payer system, independent of one's employer, ensures continuous care ... although the loss of one's job means that the taxes which pay for coverage aren't being paid.

3. Uniform benefits for everyone. One of the problems with the current system is that people must buy health insurance coverage based on their personal calculus of ability to pay and perceived need. If you have a major medical issue that isn't covered because you could only afford the Chevrolet rather than the Cadillac policy, you're out of luck. A single-payer system can be designed to provide uniform coverage ... something not possible with a nationwide array of various providers and policies.

4. Enhance prevention. This isn't necessarily an advantage of either single- or multiple-payer systems. Any insurance plan can provide incentives for preventive care and maintenance of a healthy lifestyle - both of which reduce long-term costs by keeping people healthier and reducing the need for treatment of preventable illnesses.

5. Choose your physician. The current system generally allows one to choose a physician, but only within the list of those who accept one's insurance. A single nationwide system would include all patients and all doctors, and would allow full choice of physician, without regard to his or her membership in a particular insurance network.

6. Ends insurance company interference with care. One of the most popular arguments against the single-payer system is that it puts faceless government bureaucrats between you and your doctor. This, of course, is far worse than the current system, which puts faceless insurance company bureaucrats between you and your doctor. In an ideal system, the physician decides what the patient needs and then provides it, without the need to obtain the approval of an insurance company which is focused on the business bottom line rather than the needs of the patient.

7. Reduces administrative waste. This is not a given; it's based on the idea that a single, nationwide insurance system would require less administrative overhead and duplication of effort than the current array of separate, independent insurance companies. Whether or not this would actually be the case remains to be seen, but it seems plausible. Under the current system, doctors submit their bills to insurance companies - often multiple companies - in order to get paid. A single-payer plan could streamline this process, reducing the administrative burden on doctors' offices and speeding up payments.

8. Saves money. This relates to the previous advantage of reducing administrative waste. How much money, if any, would actually be saved depends upon many factors, including how well the program is managed and how strong the protections against fraud and abuse are. In general, though, one might expect costs to go down because of the price negotiating power of a single entity representing tens of millions of citizens. Of course, this also means that profits for the health care industry might go down in proportion, although some of this could be expected to be made up for by volume.

9. Common-sense budgeting - set fair reimbursements and apply them equally. There are many reasons why health care in this country is so expensive, and each reason is worthy of a detailed discussion all its own. The cost of medical school training for doctors, the cost of developing and testing new medicines, the cost of advanced medical equipment and tests all play a role. But it isn't difficult to imagine that a system of fair and equitable reimbursements could be developed as part of a comprehensive retooling of the whole system.

10. Public oversight, public ownership. The GOP has expended tremendous effort to convince Americans that their government is completely corrupt and inept and cannot be trusted to manage a two-car funeral, much less a national health care insurance system ... the sad state of the Veterans' Administration health care system is often used as an example of why government should not have anything to do with health care management. But I view this as less a problem of the inherent ineptitude and corruption of government than a lack of sound, results-oriented leadership and management that sets processes and goals, ensures they are met, and holds those responsible at all levels accountable for their actions.

There are other arguments both for and against a single-payer system. Conservatives and Libertarians object to it because it creates a large and, presumably, expensive government bureaucracy and limits the ability of citizens to decide whether or not they want to maintain health insurance**. Many also object to the idea that access to affordable health care is a right; they maintain it should be considered a privilege earned by those who work and pay for it rather than something to which they are entitled.

A counterproposal from opponents of a single-payer system suggests that individuals be granted tax credits or vouchers that would allow them to purchase an insurance plan that best fits their needs. I'm no economic expert, but as I've written in this space before, funding anything via tax credits and vouchers has a cascading negative effect, because those credits create a revenue shortfall elsewhere.

So, Dear Readers, what do you think? Is a single-payer system a good idea or not? Leave a comment and let us know what you think, but give us real reasons to think about ... arguments that just use sneering adjectives like socialist aren't arguments at all.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* This is the system used by most modern countries, with varying degrees of success.

** This is why they object to the Obamacare mandate to maintain health insurance coverage, although it was originally a conservative idea. And of course, nobody ever wants to pay for insurance until they really need it.

Monday, January 09, 2017

Of Slime Mold and Education


We live in a complicated and difficult world, whether it's in the jungles or the rain forest or the concrete canyons of the big cities. The one thing that makes it possible for us to survive and thrive in any of those environments is education.

A vibrant and working democracy requires an educated and informed public to work properly. People need an education that not only prepares them to succeed in daily life, but to understand their obligation to others to build a working society.

Here in America, we don't value education as much as many other cultures do. We pay our teachers the most meager wages we can get away with, ask them to buy their own equipment and supplies by ruthlessly cutting our investments in schools, insist that they navigate complex rules on what we think they ought to teach (based on our religious or cultural preferences), and rely on them to act in loco parentis ... and then condemn them when they do. And then we wonder why people do crazy things like believe in wild conspiracy theories or join cults or vote for Donald Trump.

Speaking of education, I ran across this interesting article in the Washington Post a few days ago: Slime Molds Prove You Don’t Need a Brain to Learn - or Teach - a New Trick. This is a fascinating article that describes a study which challenges the belief that a complex brain and nervous system are necessary for some level of intelligent behavior. You can read the article for yourself (it's not long), but the bottom line is this: slime mold, which is pretty much nothing more than a single-celled blob of glop, is capable not only of learning, but of passing on what has been learned to other molds. This, of course, gives hope to those who believe there is a promising future for the GOP when it grows up.

Have a good day. Never stop learning, and help your children learn, too. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Musical Sunday


The Zika virus. Climate change. Killer asteroids. GOP control of all three branches of government.

Yes, Dear Readers, we have a lot to worry about. But before you think it can't get any worse, consider this warning from Tom Paxton about the terrifying plague looming on the horizon ...



Sometimes I think the lemmings have the right idea.

Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 07, 2017

Cartoon Saturday


And away we go, into the new year ...

House GOP members shot themselves in both PR feet when they voted - late at night and behind closed doors - to gut the House's independent ethics watchdog office, then had to back down after a huge public outcry; Faux News star Megyn Kelly shocked audiences when she announced that she was leaving Faux News for a new position at rival network NBC; after years of thundering about repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act (aka "Obamacare"), the GOP - now in power - has suddenly realized that while they are chomping at the bit to repeal the ACA, they have lots of ideas and talking points, but nothing to replace it with; president-elect Trump, being dragged kicking and screaming toward reality, now says he will ask Congress to pay for his beloved border wall, then send Mexico the bill later; and the Intelligence Community has published its long-anticipated report documenting Russian efforts to manipulate the 2016 presidential election*.

Today, in honor of our linguistically-challenged president-elect, is a collection of cartoons about language ...

Nowadays, you never end a sentence with the Batman symbol ...


How do you spell "Wheel of Fortune" in hieroglyphics? ...


I wonder how many points the Eye of Horus was worth ...


I suppose they had font choices like "cuneiform" and "hieroglyphics" ...


If you can't speak English properly yourself, but hate everyone who doesn't speak it, press 4 ...


My fellow German linguists will appreciate this one ...


When you hire the wrong sign painter ...


When grammarians try out pickup lines ...


Read it carefully ...


I'm reminded of a shocking incident from my college days, when people used to sit shamelessly around the student union building and matriculate right in the open ...


One Cartoon Saturday down, fifty-one more to go in this year. Let's try to make it together.

We've had our first snow of the season, more or less ... outside my study window there's a bit less than an inch of white stuff, with a "winter weather advisory" in effect until about 1:00 this afternoon and a chance of a little more. It's a soup day - we'll be putting a big pot of Agnes's wonderful vegetable soup over to cook long and slow. And it's also a glühwein day ... I think I'll be putting a pot of spiced wine over to steep as well. Vegetable soup and glühwein are about the only really good things about winter, if you ask me.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Stay warm, and come back tomorrow for a desperate warning from Tom Paxton on Musical Sunday.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Of course, Mr Trump doesn't believe it because it challenges his personal myth of invincibility and omniscience. 

Friday, January 06, 2017

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Ah, the new year ... time to view our first collection of great moments in editing and signage. We all need dumb things to marvel at other than the antics of Congress and the President. Let's go ...

I wonder where the 15th floor is moving to? ...


I'm not quite sure what this one means, other than big savings on funerals ...


He's probably looking for those low-cost funerals ...


Well, isn't that the point? ...


I think I ought to hang this on my front door ...


This is a little more complicated than what I learned about when I went to my election officer training ...


Not your usual criminal mastermind ...


I think I know where there are about 535 potential volunteers ...


I think that the person who designed this box was drinking while intoxicated ...


I always knew that those stop signs were set to turn red quickly as a way for the police to make money ...


And there you are - 2017's first collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. There are plenty more to come, because there's no statute of limitations on ass clownery ... keep coming back on alternate Fridays.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for 2017's first Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Preparing for 2017


Because I know that my witty repartee will not always help you overcome the trials and tribulations of the new, GOP-dominated year, I offer a few other forms of help for you ...

I think we could all use some of this, with unlimited refills ...


If you need stronger pharmaceutical help ...


And when all else fails ...


Don't thank me ... it's all part of the service.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

The Tower of Babel, 2017


One of the major stories of the past year has been the rise of "fake news" - authentic-sounding media reports that are not just "spun" to reflect a particular political point of view, but are created from nothing in order to smear an individual or further an otherwise unpopular agenda. Fake news is not the same as satire, and it plays very well to uneducated or credulous audiences too lazy to think beyond their preconceived ideas.

There's an interesting biblical quote that applies to the fake news problem. The book of Genesis tells, in chapter 11*, the story of how man tried to build a tower that would enable him to reach God.


The effort was facilitated by the fact that everyone spoke the same language, and so God decided on an elegant way to punish man's hubris ... He (She) scrambled their languages to make them mutually unintelligible, making it impossible for people to communicate and cooperate with each other.

So, here's the part that applies to the fake news plague -

"And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar." (Genesis 11:3)**

"And slime had they for mortar." I think that about sums it up.

Have a good day. Think critically when you're faced with fake news. Avoid the slime; rely on facts and reason. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* No, not the one dealing with bankruptcy.

** King James Version online - http://www.kingjamesbible.com/B01C011.htm