Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Our first collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for September ...

How can I possibly pass up such a deal? ...

Where gourmet cannibals eat, no doubt ...

Best name for a furniture store, ever!

It must have been modeled on a pretty small cathedral ...

I wonder if they're lawyers or financial advisors ...

You probably could use it to store your life savings ...

Now that's a really good advertising point ...

Well, how would you treat it? ...

I think this real estate agent needs to work a little harder on effective advertising ...

Yes, if you go to this store, you do need help making the right choice ...

And that's it for the first collection of the month ... at least as funny as the latest tell-all from the White House, and more enjoyable.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. After a week like this one, you know you need it. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Ah, September - the month of transition between summer and autumn ... at least, it used to be, before the climate started going berserk, and September (at least here in NoVa) is predicted to be miserably hot and humid. Poet Mary Jo Salter welcomes us to the new month and season ...

Absolute September

by Mary Jo Salter

How hard it is to take September
straight—not as a harbinger
of something harder.

Merely like suds in the air, cool scent
scrubbed clean of meaning—or innocent
of the cold thing coldly meant.

How hard the heart tugs at the end
of summer, and longs to haul it in
when it flies out of hand

at the prompting of the first mild breeze.
It leaves us by degrees
only, but for one who sees

summer as an absolute,
Pure State of Light and Heat, the height
to which one cannot raise a doubt,

as soon as one leaf's off the tree
no day following can fall free
of the drift of melancholy.


Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your end-of-summer holiday weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Welcome to the new month of September ... which, one fervently hopes, will be less crazy than August.

The administration has reportedly denied passports to (and seized the existing passports of) some - mainly Hispanic - Americans living along the border with Mexico because of questions about the legality of their birth certificates, while the State Department has pushed back at the allegations; at least seven people were killed in a horrific accident in New Mexico in which a passenger bus and a tractor-trailer crashed head-on; despite loudly proclaiming that the nation's economy has never been better, Donald Trump cancelled a planned salary increase for Federal employees, citing ... economic problems; the president has threatened to pull the United States out of the World Trade Organization, claiming that it has to "shape up" and treat the US more fairly ... despite the fact that some analyses show that the WTO rules in favor of the United States in about 90% of the issues raised by the US; and fury over the latest clergy sex abuse scandal has led to calls for Pope Francis to resign for not taking appropriate action sooner.

With news this bizarre, you know you need a good collection of cartoons to help you cope. Here's a new collection, featuring piñatas ... because you probably feel beaten up by the prevailing news.

Sometimes, the piñata just gets fed up with the whole thing and snaps ...

And sometimes it takes a little longer ...

An understandable error ...

I'm glad my HMO goes a little farther than this ...

Oops ...

When the necktie party precedes the birthday party ...

We all have our problems ...

This ought to be interesting ...

I'd watch out for Susie ...

"What could go wrong?" is a very useful question in present-day politics, too ...

And there you go - a batch of ... uh ... hard-hitting cartoons to help you get over a miserable week.

The weekend looks to be a bit unsettled weather-wise, and so today is probably a good day for our periodic lunch with fellow blogger Kathy and her husband. We meet several times a year to see how many restaurants we can be thrown out of.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday greets September with poet Mary Jo Salter. See you then.

Bilbo

The On-Crack Ass Clown for August, 2018

Well, we've come to the end of another month, and it's been a doozie. Today is the last day of August, the fifth Friday of the month, and the third opportunity to name another dishonoree in our long series of cringeworthy ass clowns.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is time to name

The On-Crack Ass Clown for August, 2018

and the award goes to

Representative Duncan Hunter (R, CA 50)

and

Margaret Hunter

Representative Hunter and his wife Margaret were charged in a 47-page indictment with more than 200 separate instances of using more than $250,000 of campaign funds for their personal benefit*. This alone is enough to earn Representative Hunter - as an elected official in a position of public trust - an Ass Clown Award, but what really cemented his victory this month was his shameless attempt to shift the blame to his wife.

At a time when our elected representatives of all parties are held in the lowest of esteem by the citizens they are supposed to represent, the blatant misuse of campaign funds by Mr Hunter and his wife further undermines public confidence in the honesty and integrity of members of Congress. 

Representative Duncan Hunter and his wife Margaret are designated as our On-Crack Ass Clowns for August, 2018. Remember such behavior when you cast your votes in the November elections.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Including, according to the indictment: "Hotel rooms, airline tickets and upgrades, meals and food, and entertainment expenses for vacations for themselves and their friends and family...;" and, "On or about July 9, 2014, the Hunters spent $250 in campaign funds at United Airlines to fly a family pet to Washington, DC. for a family vacation."

Musical Sunday

It's always a shame when a romance turns ugly. I thought about this song in the context of Donald Trump's affair with Karen McDougal, Stormy Daniels, and whatever other ladies have yet to come forward ...

Bad romance, bad outcome. If you'll pardon the expression, he's made his bed, now he can lie in it.

Have a good day. More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Please, just make it stop ...

Donald Trump continued to badger and undermine his Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, leading Sessions to push back and Trump to whine that Sessions should be investigating Democrats and other Trump critics; respected senator and war hero John McCain has decided to stop medical treatments for his aggressive form of brain cancer; the Chief Financial Officer of the Trump Organization has been granted immunity from prosecution in exchange for his testimony in the investigation of Trump fixer Michael Cohen; CNN shouting head Chris Cuomo and White House shouting head Kellyanne Conway engaged in a shameful shouting match in which they shouted over each other, traded accusations of "how dare you!", and generally accomplished nothing beyond embarrassing each other and their professions*; and California Representative Duncan Hunter, accused of spending a quarter of a million dollars of campaign contributions on personal luxuries and travel, tried to shift the blame to his wife, saying that she handled the family finances.

Oy. Just, oy.

This week, in "honor" of the continuing abomination of Donald Trump's relentless attacks on law and the judicial system, I thought a collection of cartoons about lawyers would be appropriate ...

Trial planning in the 21st century ...

If the shoe fits ...

It's not easy finding enough jurors with all these witch hunts going on ...

Yes, remember ...

Positive ID ...

There's bias, and there's bias ...

I feel this way every time I see a Rudy Giuliani or a Michael Avenatti fulminating on television ...

This is from my Trump-to-English dictionary ...

"Thanks" to Kellyanne Conway for this sad addition to our legal lexicon ...

And that's the truth ...

Perhaps Shakespeare was right.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday, this week featuring Lady Gaga ... because why the hell not?

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

* If that's even possible any more.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Once more into the breach, dear friends ...

Oops ...

Smart dog ...

I wonder if this is how I look when waiting for a bus ...

Relaxed ducks ...

This is the equivalent of the "package is filled by weight, not volume" notice on your bag of chips ...

Ouch! ...

Yes, I consider that a drawback ...

Screw the fish? Must be a dish beloved of Trump's EPA ...

Wait ... what day is it valid? ...

Now, that's going too far! ...

So there.

It's been a heck of a week, so be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... we all need it. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thoughts About Security Clearances

The latest buffoonery coming out of the Trump White House is one that few people fully understand: Donald Trump's petulant stripping of security clearances from former intelligence and security officials who have criticized him ... including taking them from those who actually no longer have security clearances.

Because of the excessive spin and bloviation on this topic, I thought I'd share a few observations with you based on my career as a military intelligence officer and as a civilian contractor supporting the Air Force after my retirement from active duty.

First of all, former senior members of the intelligence and security communities - particularly those who were career officials rather than political appointees - represent a wealth of knowledge and experience on which their successors can draw. Maintaining their clearances allows them to be tapped (often on short notice) for advice or historical perspectives on planned actions. Here's a personal story: after I retired from the Air Force in 1996 I worked as a contractor on the Air Staff, where one of my early tasks was to develop a planning framework for cyber security for the Air Force. I spent months working on the project, and when it was far enough along, my Air Force customer wanted it presented to a "greybeard* panel" (more colorfully known as a "murder board") of former senior intelligence officials. The board consisted of a half-dozen retired intelligence generals and admirals, including two former directors of the National Security Agency. I presented my proposals to them and answered very detailed and probing questions for a long and agonizing day, at the end of which they endorsed many of my ideas, shot down others, and made a number of excellent suggestions for improvements. They were able to do this because they had the professional knowledge and experience and the retained clearances that allowed them to continue to contribute to the nation's defense. Trump apologists seem to believe that a high-level clearance can be granted on the fly for brief periods of time if necessary. This reflects an abysmal misunderstanding of how classified material is protected and how access to it is granted.

The White House has accused former intelligence and security officials of "monetizing" their clearances - of using them to make huge salaries in the commercial world. Well, consider this: it's very expensive to get a security clearance. It involves months of investigations, interviews, and parsing of virtually every aspect of the candidate's life, and a careful consideration of the risks and benefits of granting access to classified information. A company that wants to bid on a classified contract needs people with clearances, and - understandably - prefers to hire people who already have them, rather than hiring new people and paying the government tens of thousands of dollars to conduct new clearance investigations. The government, for its part, wants to hire people who are ready to go, without the need to wait for clearance investigations and adjudications to be completed. I'd have thought an administration that's as intensely pro-business as this one would love to save companies money by recognizing the savings represented by hiring people who've already been cleared.

Third, the idea that criticism of Donald Trump and his policies has something to do with the possession of a security clearance is ridiculous. No one needs a top secret clearance or other special accesses to see the damage this administration is doing to the nation. Mr Trump is not at all concerned about security clearances per se ... he's simply concerned that the stature and experience of these persons gives authority to their criticisms, and yanking clearances is a petulant and convenient way to hit back at them when he can't argue on merit.

That's my take on this. I expect that those who worship at the festooned altar of Donald Trump won't accept this view, but I'm past caring about it. I no longer have a clearance, but I don't need one to recognize ignorance and poor leadership.

Have a good day. More thoughts later.

Bilbo

* I suppose if there had been any women on it, it would have been a "greybeard and bluehair panel."

Poetry Sunday

An interesting mental exercise is to look at simple things and decide what you can deduce from them. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle took this to extremes with his famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes, but anyone can try to draw conclusions from the things they observe, even if they're not a high-functioning sociopath. In this poem, former Poet Laureate Ted Kooser looks for the stories to be told by an old and decrepit farmhouse ...

Abandoned Farmhouse 

by Ted Kooser 

He was a big man, says the size of his shoes
on a pile of broken dishes by the house;
a tall man too, says the length of the bed
in an upstairs room; and a good, God-fearing man,
says the Bible with a broken back
on the floor below the window, dusty with sun;
but not a man for farming, say the fields
cluttered with boulders and the leaky barn.
A woman lived with him, says the bedroom wall
papered with lilacs and the kitchen shelves
covered with oilcloth, and they had a child,
says the sandbox made from a tractor tire.
Money was scarce, say the jars of plum preserves
and canned tomatoes sealed in the cellar hole.
And the winters cold, say the rags in the window frames.
It was lonely here, says the narrow country road.
Something went wrong, says the empty house
in the weed-choked yard. Stones in the fields
say he was not a farmer; the still-sealed jars
in the cellar say she left in a nervous haste.
And the child? Its toys are strewn in the yard
like branches after a storm-a rubber cow,
a rusty tractor with a broken plow,
a doll in overalls. Something went wrong, they say.


Things do go wrong, so they say. Sometimes, sadly, on a national scale.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Just when you thought things couldn't get much worse ...

Legendary R&B singer Aretha Franklin, widely respected as "The Queen of Soul," died on Thursday at the age of 76; in a direct attack against criticism of his administration by former senior officials, Donald Trump stripped former CIA director John Brennan of his security clearances, accusing him of "lying and recent conduct characterized by increasingly frenzied commentary;" in the Italian city of Genoa, at least 39 people were killed when a bridge collapsed, dumping dozens of cars 145 feet into a valley below; in a salacious tell-all book, former White House official Omarosa Manigault Newman accused Donald Trump of being both racist and mentally unstable, leading Trump to refer to her in a tweetstorm as a "dog" and raising questions as to exactly what her role in the Trump administration (for which she earned a salary of $179,700) had been; and a grand jury in Pennsylvania released a 900-page report which accused hundreds of priests, bishops, and other church leaders of molesting more than a thousand children over a period of decades.

If we ever needed a little humor, we need it now. How about a collection of cartoons featuring symbols ...

Such a conversion can be hard on all concerned ...

I guess math can be fun, after all ...

Murder by the numbers ...

A good pun in a cartoon can alpha lot to up the humor ratio ...

I'm not that musical one in my family, either ...

So am I ... but one has to be very careful nowadays ...

I thought I'd be more vigorous, too ...

Before alphabet soup, there was ...

A timely question ...

Well, what else is there? ...

And that's it for this week's symbolic Cartoon Saturday. I hope it helped you get over the insanity of the past week. Sorry I can't do much about what's to come.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow on Poetry Sunday. Be here.

Bilbo