Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Miscellaneous Tuesday

Well, since I took a shot across my virtual bow from Mike yesterday because my post was late, here's the explanation: it's Blogger's fault. No, really! I wrote the post at my usual early hour, uploaded the pictures of The Most Adorable Grandchild East of the Ohio State Line, and then hit the button to upload the video clip. This was at about 5:15 AM. At 6:00 AM, when I left for work, Blogger was still "processing" the video, and so I couldn't publish the post until I got home yesterday afternoon. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

I have discovered the wonderful world of Google Analytics - more statistical data about my blog than even the long-departed and still-missed Numeric Life could ever have wished. I now know how many left-handed cross-dressing gay Mexican Jewish expatriates in Zamboanga are reading my blog in the 0200-0300 time block every day. Looks like I have at least one demographic group sewed up.

Today is the birthday of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (that's pronounced MOATS-art, not mozzert, Mike). If you have never heard the wonderful Danish comedian Victor Borge do his performance of An Opera By Mozart, your life is not yet complete. Check it out. Borge is one of the funniest men who ever lived...none of today's alleged comedians who rely on shock and outrage to get guilty laughs can hold a candle to him.

Today is also the birthday of Lewis Carroll, author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. If you've read either book, you don't need to work in the Pentagon. You already have a pretty good idea of what it's like.

And finally, our weather forecast for today is calling for one to three inches of snow. I'll believe it when I see it. This story applies...

It was late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”

“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the meteorologist responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “it's going to be a very cold winter.”

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.”

“How can you be so sure?” the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

This is advice from the same government we're hoping can pull us out of the economic crisis.

I need a drink.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



bandit said...

I totally agree about Victor Borge
(Borgeh Mike). I remember the opera well........The vocal interpretations (the basso was my favorite)....the 2 trees....the soprano being stabbed between the trees which is a visual joke.
He was a great concert pianist also.

The weather sevice.....Is that another story about boobs?

Melissa B. said...

Love the analogy of Mr. Carroll's fine but convoluted work and the Pentagon. You may add the Fairfax County Public Schools to that list, too. They hauled the teachers in today for inservices and now just announced that we're going home at noon. Go figure. I've often thought Education was a lot like the military, anyway.

fiona said...

Love it!
Add on Special Education as well...or lack thereof

twinkie said...

This joke sooooo needed a drumroll at the end! It was that funny! :)

*or? a scary music soundbite after the comment after.. it was that scary!

Mike said...

Great joke.

And the missing post? Remember my 'missing comments' post? If blogger doesn't get their act together I'm going to ask for my money back.