Thursday, January 01, 2009

Bilbo Presents the First Rant Collection of 2009

Happy New Year!

Okay, now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, let's look at the first silliness of 2009...

Governor Rod "What Am I Bid For This Seat" Blagojevich has appointed Roland Burris to take the Senate seat vacated by President-elect Obama. Mr Burris appears to be well-qualified to be a senator, particularly because of his ego and his proven ability to plan for the future...CNN reports that Mr Burris has already built his mausoleum, with his resume and accomplishments literally carved in stone. Read all about it here. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to use this cartoon, but...

From the Department of Get a Life, Dumbass comes this story about atheists filing a lawsuit to keep all mention of God out of President-elect Obama's inauguration ceremony. Dr Michael Newdow, who has filed the same (unsuccessful) lawsuit in 2001 and 2005, claims that "'s unconstitutional to imply that atheists and others are not as good (as 'real Americans')." Here's what the First Amendment to the Constitution actually says on the subject: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." I'm no Constitutional scholar, but it sounds to me like the Founders didn't want Congress to try to turn the US into a seventh-century religious paradise like Saudi Arabia...not that all mention of God is by itself a bad thing, or that people have a constitutional right to not feel uncomfortable. 'Nuff said.

From the Department of Chickens and Eggs comes the latest murderous unpleasantness between Israel and Hamas. Israel is bombarding Hamas because it keeps launching rockets at Israel because the Israelis keep killing Hamas militants who keep launching rockets at Israel because the Israelis keep killing Hamas militants get the idea. Which came first, the Hamas chicken or the Israeli egg? I still say my approach to solving the Middle East mess is best: build a wall 200 feet high and 50 feet thick around the entire region, fill it up with sand, and start over.

Amazingly enough - after months of badgering and snide comments in this space, I have finally received a letter from Mike! Sort of. Yesterday, I received an envelope from Mike which contained this article snipped from the St Louis Post-Dispatch: As Time and Newspapers March On, I Relish Real Mail. Oh,'s a start.

I hope you all had a safe and enjoyable New Years' Eve and are not reading this through the filter of an alcohol-induced hangover. Agnes and I stayed home last night: I baked a standing rib roast, accompanied by Cauliflower Mornay and potatoes, we dined in style, then spent a relaxing evening in front of the fire watching episodes of Bones on DVDs. The neighbors fired off several hours worth of fireworks, and 2009 showed up on schedule.

I hope it's better than 2008.

Happy New Year! Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Amanda said...

Happy New Year!

"Department of Chickens and Eggs" : LOL!

The first day of 2009 has been full of technical issues here. My laptop keeps hanging and I'm half expecting it to do so again while I'm typing this.

Melissa B. said...

Did you see that Dave Barry calls the gov of Illinois, Rod "Rod" Blagojevich? Dave's still got his funny bone intact! I think someone should run a Blogojevich Makeover Contest. That hair has got to go!

Gilahi said...

Regarding the whole Middle East thing, I once heard it described as, "It all started when he hit me back." Seems appropriate.

craziequeen said...

Happy New Year and all best wishes for 2009! :-)


The Mistress of the Dark said...

Happy New Year! Glad to see you've got some good rants already :)

Bandit said...

From the dept. of "Get a life Dumbass." I love it! Can I use it?

anOCgirl said...

burris is crazeee! anyhoo, happy new year!

Mike said...

You forgot to mention that the envelope was addressed and printed on the computer. It took me 15 MINUTES to figure out how to do that.

Bilbo said...

Amanda - hang in there...we need you to lend class to our online family!

Melissa - I hadn't noticed the hair. ROFL!!

Gilahi - I hadn't heard that one before, but it's REALLY appropriate.

CQ - good to hear from you!! Happy New Year back!!

Andrea - no chance of running out of things about which to rant!

Bandit - use away! It's a good all-purpose summary topic.

OCgirl - thanks! Hope to see you at another bloggers' happy hour again soon!

Mike - You can have partial credit for the effort.