Thursday, January 29, 2009

Of Fish Testicles, Winter Commuting, and "Petulant, Shallow Gasbags"

You may have seen the news article the other day about a group of diners in Japan who became critically ill after eating a local delicacy - the testicles of the poisonous blowfish.

No, not Rush Limbaugh. The other poisonous blowfish.

The fugu, or blowfish, is considered a great delicacy in parts of Asia despite the fact that it is extremely poisonous if not handled and prepared with the utmost care. It seems that a group of men went to a restaurant for a meal of blowfish testicles, not realizing that the restaurant was not licensed, nor the chef trained, to prepare and serve any part of the poisonous fugu. I don't think they'll be writing positive reviews of this place for the Michelin guides.

We had our winter storm yesterday. You may recall from yesterday's post that my local bus did not come into our icy, hilly neighborhood, but instead drove only on the cleared main road as far as our local shopping center, about a 20-minute walk from my house. This shouldn't have been a problem, as I don't mind the walk...the problem was that the bus service "information line" couldn't tell me - even approximately - when the bus would actually be at the shopping center.

So...

I left extra-early, and it took me 40 minutes to walk the half-mile to the shopping center on the treacherously icy sidewalks and streets of my neighborhood...arriving at the shopping center just in time to see my bus pull away and leave without me. You may have heard my colorful language wherever you are (yes, even you, Amanda and Mal). Luckily, within minutes a driver arrived in search of pick-up riders (we call them "slugs" here) to enable him to use the carpool lanes. In the end, in spite of the extra-long walk and abandonment by the bus, I arrived at work almost ten minutes earlier than usual. Go figure. This morning, the bus will supposedly serve the entire route. We'll see. If I'm standing at my stop and the bus doesn't show, you'll be able to hear the colorful language again.

Getting back to the blowfish testicles for a minute, I'm reminded of an old joke...

A man vacationing in Spain went to a restaurant next to the local bullfighting arena. He looked around to see what the other diners were eating and noticed a fellow being served a plate with two huge meatballs on a bed of vegetables. He asked the waiter what the man was having, and the waiter replied that they were the testicles of the bulls from the adjoining bull ring. Intrigued, the man ordered the same dish, and was amazed at how delicious the unusual meatballs were.

The next day, the same fellow went to the same restaurant and again ordered the testicle special. But when his meal arrived, he was shocked to see that the testicles were much smaller than those he'd been served the previous day. He complained to the waiter, who shrugged and replied, "But senor, the bull does not always lose!"

Speaking of bull, have I mentioned Rush Limbaugh yet? The other day, columnist Jack Cafferty referred to Mr Limbaugh in one of his columns as a "petulant, shallow gasbag." I love a good turn of phrase, especially when applied to one so deserving of it. Go, Jack!

That's all for now...time to spread some more kitty litter on the sidewalks and driveway, and get ready to brave the elements for yet another winter morning commute.

Wish me luck.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

5 comments:

Gilahi said...

Two people from overseas were visiting the US for the first time and were anxious about the information they'd gotten that people in this country ate dogs. Shortly after landing in New York, they saw a sidewalk vendor with a sign that said "Hot Dogs", so they figured they'd give it a go and each ordered one. When they were handed their food, one of them peered inside the bun, looked at his friend and said, "Which part did you get?

fiona said...

How clever of you to make the transition from "Boobies" to "Balls"
I feel a post coming on...

Mike said...

I don't think 'slugs' is an appropriate term. I think 'live dummies' would be more accurate.

I have to think about the balls stuff some more. Maybe do some research.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

'Testicle Special'...it ought to be called that on the menu. Maybe it was?

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