Senior Shortcuts

Last Monday in this space I groused about the proliferation of letters, numbers, and combinations of the two as shortcuts for what we used to call "speech" and "thought." I suppose that, as a linguist, I should be excited about the emergence of a new form of communication, but I just can't get too excited about communicating in shortcuts.

Nevertheless, as people like Mike, John, and I view the onrushing advent of geezerhood, I can see that there's something to be said for those shortcuts. After all, if your short-term memory is shot and you can't concentrate on things for very long, there's an advantage in the ability to send short, yet meaningful messages. And - as luck would have it - my old friend Devin yesterday sent me a list of texting abbreviations for senior citizens. Just in time, too! Here's his list:

BTW - Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWB - Friend With Betablockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - For Your Indigestion

GOML - Get Off My Lawn

GTG - Gotta Groan

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

JK - Just Kvetching

LOL - Living On Lipitor

LWO - Lawrence Welk's On

OMG - Ouch, My Groin!

ROFL - CGU - Rolling On The Floor Laughing - Can't Get Up

RULKM - Are You Leaving Kids Money?

SUS - Speak Up, Sonny

TGIF - Thank Goodness It's Four (Four O'Clock - Early Bird Special)

WIWYA - When I Was Your Age

WTB - Where's the Bathroom?

WTF - What's Today's Fish?

YYY - Yadda, yadda, yadda

Don't thank me ... it's all part of my ongoing efforts to make life easier and more entertaining for you.

What was I talking about, again?

Have a good day. If you haven't bought my Christmas gift yet, there's still time!

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo