Friday, April 08, 2011

Some Questions to Ponder During the Government Shutdown

I'm officially sick and tired of Republicans, Democrats, clueless Tea Party wingnuts, dumbass far left loons, government in general, Congress in particular, and Charlie Sheen ... well ... just on principle. After all, if a group of squabbling children can actually take an action that will result in soldiers in harm's way not getting paid, what else is there for me to say? Here's my opinion on each and every one of them:

And because I'm too disheartened and angry to discuss the whole mess any more, here's something different ... a few questions to distract you while you, Dear Non-Essential Government Worker, sit furloughed at home and decide whether to use your savings to buy food or pay the mortgage (hint: pay the mortgage. The bank won't care that it's Congress's fault you missed the payment, and they'll foreclose on your backside in a second).

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

How do deer know to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

What do you pack Styrofoam in for shipping?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does virgin wool come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle? (Ask a Republican economist)

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Are there reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do you put on a pair of pants but only one shirt?

That's all for now. Tomorrow is Cartoon Saturday ... God knows we need it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Gilahi said...

Actually, the comedian Gallagher asked, "Why is it a pair of panties but only one bra?"

Further, if tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Your image rocks!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh how I adore you!!
Thanks for the morning giggles.

Bilbo said...

Gilahi - interesting observation about the bra...I'd have thought THAT would be the part that came in a pair. But I don't think I should go any further on that line...

Andrea - isn't it great? I wish I knew who the original artist was, I'd buy him/her the next round!

Margaret (PorPtoo) - Please, wife reads this blog, too!! But thanks (blush)...

Mike said...

"where does baby oil come from?"

Did you see the movie 'Soylent Green'? Well!!!!????

Bilbo said...

"Soylent Green is made out of PEOPLEEEEEEE!!!"

Chrissy said...

Ahhh it! You know my love for the phrase "assclown."

Maybe you should start a whole day dedicated to a particular assclown. Like cartoon saturday...but assclown thursday....or something like that.

Well, on second thought, there may be too many assclowns to only have one day a week to pick just one.

KathyA said...

These are priceless!