Thursday, March 29, 2012

Words That Don't Exist, But Should

One of my former co-workers the other day sent me this list of useful words that ought to be in the dictionary, but somehow have been missed by the Websters of the world. I think they are known as sniglets, and there is a larger collection of them you can purchase here. This is the list I received from Devin, with a few of my comments added ...

Aquadextrous (ah kwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

Carperpetuation (kar'pur pet u ay shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

Disconfect (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. (Bilbo's Alternative Definition: v. The action performed by a toddler who licks all the icing off a donut before offering it to you with a happy smile)

Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for possession of one armrest in a movie theater or on an airplane.

Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to opening the 'illegal' side.

Peppier (pep ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper. (Bilbo's Note: the size of the pepper mill wielded by the Peppier is a sign of the elegance of the restaurant - a truly classy establishment will have a pepper mill the size of a telephone pole with a built-in aiming light, which must be operated by a crew of two)

Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling ... or why ... just as they answer.

Pupkus (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

And this one of my own ...

Telenalysis (tel uh nal' uh sis) n. The act of deciding whether or not to answer the phone based on a review of the Caller ID data.

Now it's your turn ... if you know of a good word we need to include in the next edition of the OED, leave a comment or e-mail it to me. These are too good not to share.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



The Mistress of the Dark said...

I've never been to a restaurant with a Peppier yet :(

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Obfun -- Obfun is short for "obligatory fun." It refers to the ice-breaking activities that are injected into all-day seminars oe conferences either to make it more interesting to the participants, to remove any sense of dignity that might remain in them, or to lend variety to the activities.

Sermonnap -- Sleep that comes as the result of a too-long or boring speech or sermon.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Asstration -- the pain and annoyance tha comes from being on a transcontinental flight too long, especially when you're traveling tourist class (AKA the seats Elvis can afford).

Mike said...

The older you get the worse Phonesia gets.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Doggybarassment - the embarassment that occurs when a dog puts his nose in your crotch area.

Elvie Fornshell said...

do it now THINK. Its not illegal-yet.
The accuracy of that is disturbing
especially the YET part.

The Bastard King of England said...

Aquadexterous should be adopted by acclimation as a word!