Thursday, January 02, 2014

New Year's Irresolutions

We are now two days into 2014. Had I chosen to make any New Year's resolutions, I would surely have broken most of them by now ... that's just how it goes.

To the extent that I might have made any New Year's resolutions, here are a few that might have made the list:

Demonstrate - in practical, everyday ways - how much I love Agnes, my children, and my grandchildren;

Read more books (starting with all the ones on my shelves and in my iPad that I've bought but haven't read yet);

Write more letters (with pen and ink on paper, as opposed to e-mail);

Keep up the blog; and,

Refrain from doing anything that might elicit the attention of the coroner, no matter how great the provocation*.

Actually, it's much easier to make make New Year's resolutions for other people, and so I offer these suggestions:

For Congress: get your heads out of your collective backsides and do your job. Try putting the good of the country ahead of your political fantasies for a while - you may find you get more done.

For the Kardashian family: sit down and shut up.

For Rush Limbaugh: you sit down and shut up, too.

For Faux News: learn the difference between "news" and "opinions."

For MSNBC: you, too.

For Miley Cyrus: invest in a wardrobe with a higher coverage-to-cost ratio.

For Kanye West: buy a copy of a good book on good manners and read it. Have someone read it to you if you have trouble.

For all rap and hip-hop "musicians": take a music appreciation course. Take notes. Use them.

For the Tea Party: please just go away.

For Code Pink and PETA: you just go away, too.

That'll do for a start. What New Year's resolutions would you recommend for others? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


* And the provocation is very great every day.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

I need to get around to make some resolutions. Valentine's Day resolutions, maybe? With a little planning, I can defer this until after Groundhog Day.

Miley Cyrus is just a kaleidoscope of annoyance.

Insane Penguin said...

What's wrong with emails? I don't have great penmanship, and it spares people I write to.

Duckbutt said...

I never heard of Code Pink before.

PETA's ad was a hoot!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Most pests have simply stayed longer than their allotted 15 minutes of fame. Learning to bow out gracefully should be on the curriculum.

Mike said...

My resolution years ago was to never make another New Years resolution.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I'm doing well if I can keep a resolution through January.