Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Enforcing Discipline in Government Service

You may recall that North Korean overlord Kim Jong Un has been in the news from time to time for allegedly devising new and brutal methods of executing those with whom he has significant disagreements. The latest example of this flair for personnel management with extreme prejudice came when he recently had his minister of defense executed by a firing squad armed with antiaircraft guns; a year or two ago, he also supposedly had his uncle and mentor eaten alive by a pack of savage dogs.

Now, if you think this is a bit of an extreme approach to enforcing discipline among senior government officials, you're not alone*. It seems to me that the prospect of being eaten by dogs is not conducive to attracting top talent to government service, even in a workers' paradise like North Korea. Nevertheless, one must wonder if we might be able to improve the performance of our own government if there were more creative punishments available for those guilty of graft, corruption, nepotism, sexual misconduct** or other sorts of first- or second-degree ass clownery. Here are a few of the sentences that come to mind ...

- Take away their chauffeured cars and require them to take public transportation to work. The horror of having to rub elbows with Real People would be a terrifying punishment.

- Reassign them to Detroit ...

- Force them to listen to loops of Ted Cruz speeches.

- Require Republicans to reconcile GOP tax and economic policies with reality, using only data provided by the Congressional Research Service - not by a conservative partisan think tank.

- Require Democrats to explain how to pay for Democratic social programs, using only data provided by the Congressional Research Service - not by a liberal partisan think tank.

- Make them watch a "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" marathon; number of hours dictated by the severity of their misconduct.

What are your ideas? How would you discipline the obstreperous children of Capitol Hill? Leave a comment and let the rest of us know.

Have a good day. Demand more from your elected reprehensives, even if you end up continually disappointed. More thoughts tomorrow.


* Although I'm quite sure that such measures have a certain appeal to the most rabid anti-Obama wings of the extreme right.

** A marvelous euphemism, that.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

Punish them by having them fly by United, eat at Hardees' and having to watch a Duck Dynasty marathon!

Detroit is harsh.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Reassign them to be rest room attendants in National Forest restrooms. Entitle them M. or Mme. Pipi.

Linda Kay said...

Angel says United...I say Southwest so they have no frills, just free luggage. Their expense budget would be cut to the lowest allowance in corporate America, not allowing expense for exclusive dining or special cars. And then they have to drive to work in DC Traffic or take a bus.

Rudolph said...

They should eat at fast food places when they're on the public dime.

Mike said...

Make them all pay the 39% tax rate on their campaign funds.

allenwoodhaven said...

On planes they should have to sit in the middle seat on coach between someone snoring and someone talking incessantly, with their opposite (fox/msnbc) on the seat screen. Perhaps we could convince them to stay in Washington and convince them to do their jobs.

Pay them at the minimum wage, with no expenses. Don't allow any outside pay, meals, gifts.