Friday, December 30, 2016

The On-Crack Ass Clown for December, 2016

December this year turns out to be one of those months with five Fridays, and the way they line up, three of those Fridays are dedicated to Ass Clown awards. And so it is that today, the last Friday of 2016, marks the final Ass Clown award for the year. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets we name

The On-Crack Ass Clown
December, 2016

Donald J. Trump

This marks the seventh time this award has been presented to Mr Trump, either as a standalone winner or in conjunction with a co-awardee. The degree of ass-clownery required to achieve this record is truly staggering, but Mr. Trump has done a tremendous job of demonstrating it. Here are a few of his latest qualifications:

In flagrant defiance of tradition and the reality that he is not the president until January 20th, Mr. Trump has inserted himself into foreign policy issues, undercutting the authority of the sitting president and making the United States look weak and confused.

He has upended four decades of carefully-crafted and calibrated relationships with China with a series of actions ranging from a phone call with the president of Taiwan to a tweet suggesting the Chinese government should keep a US Navy underwater drone it stole in international waters.

He has reversed attempts by previous administrations to make the world a safer place by tweeting that the United States should "greatly expand" its nuclear arsenal.

Contrary to his election-night comment that "it is time for us to come together as one united people," he has carried on an unseemly series of campaign-style rallies designed to crow over his victory rather than to address the divisive issues of the campaign and try to unite the country behind his leadership.

Mr. Trump spent the entire presidential campaign denigrating his opponents with cheap high-school-level nicknames like "Crooked Hillary," "Lyin' Ted," and "Little Marco" as a way of avoiding the need to address real issues affecting Real People.

In a brazen affront to the American People, Mr. Trump has steadfastly refused to address concerns about the potential conflicts of interest between his business affairs and his governmental powers, refusing to release his tax returns - as did every other presidential candidate going back decades - and deferring any discussion of how he will address conflicts of interest.

Mr. Trump has chosen to denigrate and demean the professionalism and dedication of the nation's 17 intelligence agencies because they don't support his desire for a close relationship with Russia's Vladimir Putin.

Mr. Trump has created a level of domestic and international uncertainty over his intentions by blasting out storms of tweets rather than holding press conferences and serious discussions with both supporters and opponents. Intractable problems will not be reduced to solution in 140 characters.

I could go on, but there's no point. Those who love Donald Trump will blithely overlook his many failings and his utter unsuitability for the presidency, while those who - like me - believe he will be a disaster understand all of this already. I just wanted to say it one last time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, President-Elect Donald J. Trump is our final ass clown awardee for 2016 - the On-Crack Ass Clown for December.

But wait - there's more!

As I put the finishing touches on this post on the morning of December 24th, I ran across an article in the Washington Post that has led me to add a Dishonorable Mention to the On-Crack Ass Clown Award for this month ... this Dishonorable Mention goes to

Carl Paladino

Mr Paladino, a former GOP nominee for governor of New York and an advisor to Donald Trump, was asked what he wanted for 2017. His response: he hoped that "(President) Obama catches mad cow disease after being caught having relations with a Hereford (cow)," and that he wanted First Lady Michelle Obama "to return to being a male and let loose in the outback of Zimbabwe where she lives comfortably in a cave with Maxie, the gorilla." You can read the whole miserable story here.

When we turn to people like Donald Trump as our president and Carl Paladino as one of his advisors, all I can say is God help us. 

Have a good day and a safe, happy New Year's celebration.

More thoughts coming.



The Mistress of the Dark said...

So many ass clowns..but the PE is the biggest one ever

eViL pOp TaRt said...

God help us - we got him for four years.

Cloudia said...

Well argued! Persuasive and depressing

Gonzo Dave said...

I fear The Donald will be a regular awardee for the next four years...

John Hill said...


Duckbutt said...

The logical choice! Unfortunately, we have him around for four years before we get a re-do.

Mike said...

With the head start he has, after Jan 20, he could wind up being the winner every Friday for four years.

Mike said...

Almost forgot. 10 votes for the AE.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Carl Paladino makes a good runner up even if he is a poor excuse for a man.

allenwoodhaven said...

Worthy recipients. Would that it wasn't so.

10 Votes for Trump
5 for the AE