Cartoon Saturday

Here we go again ...

The House Select Committee investigating the origins of the January 6th Capitol riot met for the first time on Tuesday, and heard gripping testimony from four of the police officers who battled the mob of loving and gentle tourists; according to contemporaneous handwritten notes from former acting deputy attorney general Richard Donoghue, Der Furor pressured then-acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen to simply declare that the 2020 presidential election was corrupt, telling Rosen to "Just say that the election was corrupt + leave the rest to me and the R. Congressmen;" beloved gymnastics champion Simone Biles withdrew from the Olympic competitions, citing the mental stress affecting her ability to perform at her best; GOP representatives Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Paul Gosar, and Louie Gohmert held a silly news conference in front of the Justice Department, attempting to divert attention from the Capitol riot hearings by demanding "answers" about the treatment of people they paint as "political prisoners" ... they were then blocked as they tried to gain access to the DC jail to ensure the imprisoned insurrectionists were being treated well; and in Montana, two Helena residents were arrested after an investigation into an aircraft abandoned on Highway 93 south of Hamilton revealed that the plane had been stolen from a Helena area aviation company.

After the past week of political chicanery, you need cartoons. This week, let's just look at cartoons based on puns and wordplay ...

Cheese it, the cops! ...

It would be a step in the right direction, anyhow ...

For those of you unfamiliar with the reference, look here ...

Pick the right one ...

Perhaps they can settle their differences with an archery contest ...

It ain't over 'til the fat alien sings ...

It may be a long trip ... he should pack a Bach's lunch ...

Beware the side effects ...

Not to worry - civility is pretty well dead in most parts of the country ...

Tracked by the sound of the flush ...

And that's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday; hope it helped you get over the news of the week.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow, when Musical Sunday takes a nostalgic look back to the days we thought were better. More thoughts then. 

Bilbo

The On-Crack Ass Clown for July, 2021

Ah, the stupidity ...

The list of people serving in Congress who are unqualified to serve in such an important position is very long, and seems to grow longer all the time. Today, we recognize the amazing ass clownery of one of the most ludicrously unqualified members of the Senate as we name

The On-Crack Ass Clown for July, 2021

Senator Tommy Tuberville (R, AL)

In a tweet he sent on July 15th, Senator Tuberville said,

"Growing up, look at the things that we as government have taken control of and you name me one thing that's been prosperous. I thought long and hard and it doesn't work."

He re-tweeted this absurd comment later that day, adding

"Everything the federal government takes over is a disaster."

Senator Tuberville clearly has no concept or knowledge of history, having failed to remember such federal government disasters as the interstate highway system, safe and effective Covid-19 vaccines, safe food and drugs, victory in World War II, and astronauts walking on the moon.

Senator Tuberville also has only the vaguest concept of the government in which he serves, stating in November of last year that

“Our government wasn’t set up for one group to have all three branches of government — wasn’t set up that way ... You know, the House, the Senate, and the executive.”

The three branches of government are, of course, the Legislative, Executive, and Judicial, as anyone with passing familiarity with the Constitution would know. The Senator also has no grasp of history, as the numerous examples in this article show.

It's hard to believe that the people of Alabama could have elected such an uninformed and uneducated buffoon to the Senate, but here we are. At a time when the nation needs sound, solid, and adult leadership, we are represented at the highest levels of government by the likes of Tommy Tuberville. Heaven help us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the On-Crack Ass Clown for July, 2021, is Senator Tommy Tuberville - one of the dimmest bulbs in the low-wattage legislative chandelier. Because of the potential he represents for long-term damage to the national interest, he is awarded a score of 1,500,000 on the Gohmert Stupidity Scale - the upper end of the "Dangerously Stupid" range, allowing plenty of room for growth.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday marks the last day of the month.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

I'm starting to get really depressed by the proliferation of amazingly stupid, proudly hypocritical ass clowns out there. There are days I'm divided between presenting ass clown awards every day and giving the whole thing up as a waste of my brain cells. But I'm going to soldier on and keep pointing out the idiots, because someone has to.

Although there are reinforced battalions of ass clowns in politics that could keep me busy for months, I have decided to turn to that other rich source of hypocrisy and bad behavior - religion - for my latest award.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I hereby present an

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Monsignor Jeffrey Burrill

Monsignor Burrill was the top administrator for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops until July 20th, and had taken a strong position in favor of denying Holy Communion to President Biden because of his support of abortion rights. He resigned after a Catholic newsletter alleged that cellphone data showed he had repeatedly used the Grindr dating app and visited gay bars ... after all, Catholic dogma forbids sexual relations outside heterosexual marriage and considers same-sex relations and marriage “intrinsically disordered.”

One can argue (and many have) that the use of Burrill's cell phone data to expose his private life is a violation of privacy and an offense in itself. Nevertheless, given the Catholic Church's long and sordid history of priests involved in sexual abuse and its uncompromising opposition to those who oppose its teachings on topics like abortion and homosexuality, Burrill's rank hypocrisy is illustrative of the larger problem of hypocritical behavior on the part of many religious leaders.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this week's Ass Clown Special Award goes to Monsignor Jeffrey Burrill - a prime example of the hypocrisy of many modern religious leaders.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Abracadabra, Please and Thank You

Let me begin by clearly stating that I'm no saint. I have behaved badly from time to time, and have done things that, in retrospect, I am ashamed of. I always try to do well and live right, but I do occasionally fall off the wagon of good behavior.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, what the heck is wrong with people nowadays?

People of every age, religion (especially religion), color, and culture are behaving like total, self-absorbed, self-righteous idiots. Look at the world around us ...

Because Der Furor needed to blame his mismanagement of the Coronavirus pandemic on something other than his lack of leadership and common sense, he harped on the theme of a Chinese virus - the "kung flu." And what happened? Brainless morons assumed this meant it was okay to assault elderly oriental people on the street, because their fearless leader gave them license to do it.

We might have beaten the pandemic with the vaccines developed in record time by dedicated scientists ... but because so many people have been conditioned to believe that their personal freedoms and desires are more important that the lives and safety of those around them, and because there are politicians to whom their power and agenda are more important than the lives of their constituents, more than 610,000 Americans are dead, and the number continues to climb in states where rights and freedoms are more important than the common good.

"Karens" and "Kevins" (the male equivalent) feel empowered to launch their fears and prejudices like weapons at any time and place, making them look like spoiled and undisciplined children.

The absolute right to unrestricted ownership of guns has led to terrible carnage on our streets, but because the Second Amendment is more important than the preservation of life, there is no chance of rational thought or discussion of ways to minimize the danger.

People treat each other badly in general because they see their leaders behaving badly without consequences. Remember that video of Der Furor shoving the Prime Minister of Montenegro out of the way so he could preen at the center of a group photo? And look at the behavior of fools like Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jim Jordan, and Ted Cruz. Is this how we want our children to behave?

My parents always stressed the importance of good behavior and acceptance of responsibility for our actions. They were unfailingly polite and generous and expected us to be the same. Their philosophy was that we should always behave well toward others until they give us reason to do otherwise ... then you have room to launch back. I've tried to follow their example by trying to be slow to anger, but more than willing to make it worth someone's while if they push me to it.

I remember seeing a movie long ago in which a character commented that there were two kinds of people in the world - diplomats and door mats - and that you didn't have to be both. The message was that you could be polite and diplomatic without letting everyone walk over you. It's a good thing to remember nowadays, when it seems that many people equate politeness and good manners with weakness and submission.

On his TV program for young children, Captain Kangaroo often invoked his magic words - "Abracadabra, Please, and Thank You" - as a way of teaching young children the importance of being polite. Where's the Captain now, when we need someone to model good behavior?

This has been a sort of stream-of-consciousness post*, but right now I'm being bothered by the miserable behavior of most Americans and don't know what to make of it. If you see me acting badly, you have my permission to give Calvin a dollar on my behalf ...

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* I hope it made more sense than one of Der Furor's stream-of-unconsciousness rally speeches, if nothing else.

Poetry Sunday

One of the best features of my garden is its ability to attract butterflies and hummingbirds. The bee balm plant I received as a gift from one of my neighbors, although much the worse for wear from the beating it took in fierce storms earlier this summer, pulls in the beautiful little birds who have more energy than anything but a caffeinated two-year-old ... and we honor them with today's poem by Jonathan Greene.

HUMMINGBIRDS

by Jonathan Greene

Can fly every which way.

Taught helicopters to rise

straight up from the ground.

What does not work for us

works for them: being overly industrious,

overeating, surviving a sweet tooth,

a non-stop exuberance.

No down time to sing alleluias,

even after arriving at a distant home,

having crossed continents.

Never thinking to preen

to show off a ruby throat,

iridescent feathers.

Consider yourself blessed

by their visits.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Greet the hummingbirds and the butterflies as honored guests if they visit your garden.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Because Agnes and I are on the road for our beach vacation and may not have a reliable internet connection, I'm scheduling this post ahead of time and dispensing with the usual summary of the week's news. You can thank me later.

This week's collection of cartoons features riffs on books and reading, one of my favorite topics ...

Classic books redone for the time of Covid ...  

Why I prefer real, ink-on-paper books (all these features tend to offset weight and bulk) ...

What book clubs will look like once the religious right has its way ...

Sauce for the gander, eh? ...

Last week, my friend Birgitta asked her friends for reading recommendations*. I wonder if this is how it will all come out ...

I wonder what he came up with ...

The evolution of reading ...

This is how my grandchildren approach my bedtime stories ...

I think they should go to "Current Events" rather than "Nonfiction" ...

Yes, that's a BIG advantage ...

And there you have it ... the next-to-last Cartoon Saturday for July. I hope it inspired you to do some reading other than the rambling and nonsensical “statements” of Der Furor and the ludicrous press releases of the GOP.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and be safe. See you tomorrow for Poetry Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

* I suggested The True Believer by Eric Hoffer (for nonfiction) and Two O'Clock, Eastern Wartime by John Dunning (for fiction). Both rank among my all-time favorites.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Time for the last collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for July ... sit back, pop open a cold one, and enjoy ....

Believe it or not, I've actually used that bath tissue ...

With a price like that on his head, he must have a small head ...

Who wouldn't love a bilingual hedgehog?

Demon Rum strikes all ...

Nice that there's no extra charge for the mouse ...

No, you can't ...

I wonder if he was working for a circus ...

It's always gratifying when a stolen car is recovered intact ...

Well, it would be, wouldn't it? ...

I think I'm going to pass on this vintage ...

And so July passes into the annals (or anals, if you want to be completely accurate) of history. Be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

I love radio, and back in the days when I was doing a lot of driving at night, this was a song that I really enjoyed. Take it away, John Denver ...

  

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Is it too much to hope that we'll run out of craziness soon? ...

In France, more than a million people signed up for Covid-19 vaccinations in a single day in response to a plea from President Emanuel Macron; a pistol designed to look like a toy made of Lego bricks and marketed as a "Block-19" has been described as "irresponsible and dangerous" and the maker has been sued by the Danish toymaker; the Russia-based criminal hacking group REvil, responsible for a wave of ransomware attacks over the past few months, suddenly disappeared without explanation, leading to questions of whether Russia or the US took it down, or it is just lying low until the heat dies down; five members of a Texas family were arrested on Tuesday, each facing four federal charges of illegal entry and disorderly conduct in the Capitol during the insurrection on January 6th; and in Santa Ana, California, on Tuesday, rescue workers freed a naked woman who had become wedged in an eight-inch space between two commercial buildings.

This week, a collection of cartoons focusing on current events ...

Tomato, tomahto ...  

And they don't speak any language recognized by rational people ...

The result of jury selection in Tennessee and Texas ...

Sign of the times ...

"Block" now, "smite" later ...

I feel exactly the same way ...

The original took only one monkey to write ...

That particular horseman has been very busy ...

Good question ...

Good advice ...

And that's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday ... I hope it gave you a lift after another downer of a week in the real world.

Have a good day and a great weekend. See you tomorrow for more thoughts as we celebrate another Musical Sunday.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2021

People and organizations deserve Ass Clown Awards awards for many reasons: greed, outrageous behavior, ugly political beliefs, and religious bigotry among them. Many awardees deserve their awards for a combination of these (and other) reasons, and so it is today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, our award for

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2021

is presented to

Kimberly Guilfoyle

Ms Guilfoyle is a graduate of the University of San Francisco School of Law, and earned her JD degree in 1994. She served as a prosecuting attorney in San Francisco and Los Angeles, and won several awards at the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office, including Prosecutor of the Month. In 2006 she took a job at Fox News as a contributor and analyst on legal matters; she left Fox in 2018 after accusations of sexual harassment which were settled by her resignation. She then went to work for a super PAC supporting Der Furor, and moved on to various positions in his political campaign apparatus, becoming the girlfriend of Donald Trump, Jr.

Since then, she has been a controversial and very high profile cheerleader for Der Furor and conservative causes, and has attracted attention (and many hilarious memes) for her very loud, high-energy, over-the-top speeches at campaign and conservative events ...

More recently, Ms Guilfoyle has reportedly angered Der Furor by appearing to profit from association with his name, although she denies this is true. 

Kimberly Guilfoyle is a sad example of the most unfortunate Ass Clown Awardees ... those very talented people who have squandered their honor and their talents in the service of highly-questionable causes (see Rudy Giuliani for another prime example). From being an award-winning Los Angeles deputy district attorney, noted for her work on adult and juvenile narcotics, domestic violence, kidnapping, robbery, arson, sexual assault, and homicide cases, she has transformed into a dreadful joke in the far-right universe of petulance and anger.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Kimberly Guilfoyle is our Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2021 ... another self-destructive acolyte of Der Furor and his fevered destruction of American government and moral decency.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

I usually present Ass Clown Awards to individuals or groups, sometimes to nations or their governments, and once to a product. Today, we single out a corporation for an out-of-cycle special award. An

Ass Clown Special Award

is presented to

Hobby Lobby

Hobby Lobby is a chain of stores specializing in arts and crafts supplies and noted for its strident advocacy of Christian religious beliefs. In a full-page ad inserted in numerous newspapers over the Fourth of July weekend, the management of Hobby Lobby advocated the supremacy of Christian religious faith over the government of the United States. In an accompanying, downloadable .pdf file, the firm published a carefully selected array of quotes from the Founders, former presidents, Supreme Court justices and decisions, and foreign commentators seeming to advocate for government as a theocracy overseen by - of course - "Christians."

The company has a long history of publishing colorful ads on major holidays, encouraging readers to adopt Christian beliefs. The present ad, though, actually advocates that the United States should be governed according to the precepts of the Christian faith ... ignoring the fact that, all other quotations aside, the Constitution specifically states (in Article VI, Clause 3) that "... no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States," and that the first sentence of the First Amendment clearly states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

Far too many Americans nowadays interpret "religious freedom" as "official recognition of and deference to Christianity the way we define it," and do not recognize Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and other belief systems as legitimate and worthy of protected exercise. These people have redefined Christianity as a system not of social justice and the care and protection of others (which is pretty much what the Bible they ostentatiously wave says), but as a weapon with which to seize and exercise power over others. 

If the owners of the Hobby Lobby chain think living in a theocracy is such a good idea, I'm sure they can relocate and open lots of branches in Iran.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, The Hobby Lobby earns a well-deserved Ass Clown Special Award. If you need arts and crafts supplies, Michaels and Joann Fabrics can fill your needs without worrying about how you worship.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo