Poetry Sunday

You may recall that this past Wednesday, April 10th, we noted the birthday of William Booth, the founder of The Salvation Army. Today, we present this poem by Vachel Lindsey that documents General Booth going to his reward ...

General William Booth Enters into Heaven

By Vachel Lindsay

[To be sung to the tune of The Blood of the Lamb with indicated instrument]

[BASS DRUM BEATEN LOUDLY]
Booth led boldly with his big bass drum— 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 
The Saints smiled gravely and they said: “He’s come.” 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 
Walking lepers followed, rank on rank, 
Lurching bravoes from the ditches dank, 
Drabs from the alleyways and drug fiends pale— 
Minds still passion-ridden, soul-powers frail:— 
Vermin-eaten saints with mouldy breath, 
Unwashed legions with the ways of Death— 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 

[BANJOS]
Every slum had sent its half-a-score 
The round world over. (Booth had groaned for more.) 
Every banner that the wide world flies 
Bloomed with glory and transcendent dyes. 
Big-voiced lasses made their banjos bang, 
Tranced, fanatical they shrieked and sang:— 
“Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?” 
Hallelujah! It was queer to see 
Bull-necked convicts with that land make free. 
Loons with trumpets blowed a blare, blare, blare 
On, on upward thro’ the golden air! 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 

[BASS DRUM SLOWER AND SOFTER]
Booth died blind and still by Faith he trod, 
Eyes still dazzled by the ways of God. 
Booth led boldly, and he looked the chief 
Eagle countenance in sharp relief, 
Beard a-flying, air of high command 
Unabated in that holy land. 

[SWEET FLUTE MUSIC]
Jesus came from out the court-house door, 
Stretched his hands above the passing poor. 
Booth saw not, but led his queer ones there 
Round and round the mighty court-house square. 
Yet in an instant all that blear review 
Marched on spotless, clad in raiment new. 
The lame were straightened, withered limbs uncurled 
And blind eyes opened on a new, sweet world. 

[BASS DRUM LOUDER]
Drabs and vixens in a flash made whole! 
Gone was the weasel-head, the snout, the jowl! 
Sages and sibyls now, and athletes clean, 
Rulers of empires, and of forests green! 

[GRAND CHORUS OF ALL INSTRUMENTS.
TAMBOURINES TO THE FOREGROUND]
The hosts were sandalled, and their wings were fire! 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 
But their noise played havoc with the angel-choir. 
(Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?) 
O shout Salvation! It was good to see 
Kings and Princes by the Lamb set free. 
The banjos rattled and the tambourines 
Jing-jing-jingled in the hands of Queens. 

[REVERENTLY SUNG. NO INSTRUMENTS]
And when Booth halted by the curb for prayer 
He saw his Master thro’ the flag-filled air. 
Christ came gently with a robe and crown 
For Booth the soldier, while the throng knelt down. 
He saw King Jesus. They were face to face, 
And he knelt a-weeping in that holy place. 
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

Somehow, I don't think I'll be hearing instrumental accompaniments like those when I shuffle off my mortal coil.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

The fun just never stops ...

Attorney General William Barr announced during a Congressional hearing that he suspected - admittedly without evidence - that the Trump campaign had been "spied on" and he intended to investigate; Donald Trump took another step toward weaponizing the immigration crisis by suggesting that asylum seekers be shipped to "sanctuary cities," most of which have Democratic administrations; Donald Trump last week privately told Kevin McAleenan, the border enforcement official he was about to name as acting secretary of homeland security, that he would pardon him if he encountered any legal problems as a result of taking illegal actions directed by Trump; the government of Ecuador revoked the asylum status of Wikileaks figure Julian Assange and expelled him from the Ecuadorian embassy in London, following which he was promptly arrested on a number of charges; and in Washington on Friday, a man set himself on fire in front of the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Most days I don't feel my age. But on those days when I do, I really do. So how about a collection of cartoons about old age ...

Yes, this is me, especially after a few minutes of watching the news ...

Gardening is my version ...

I'm really not going there ...

When multiple problems collide ...

Technology is everywhere ...

I thought there was a connection there ...

I'm marching in this one ... I think ...

It's all in how you look at it ...

Ha, ha! ... There must be a lot of Mars Rover drivers here in NoVa ...

Giddyap ... but not too quickly ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Good luck with getting older. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday remembers the founder of the Salvation Army. See you then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2019

And it's that time again - time to recognize the one person who has risen above the surging tide of ass-clownery to become the latest representative face of the scourge that threatens our national sanity. It's never easy make the choice, but this time there's not much doubt - thus it is that we hold our collective noses, sigh, and announce

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2019

and the award goes to

Attorney General

William P. Barr

Mr Barr, the first person to serve two nonconsecutive terms as Attorney General since 1850, was confirmed by the Senate in February of this year to replace Jeff Sessions*, who was hounded from office by Donald Trump for the sin of insufficient sycophancy. His nomination was widely viewed as an attempt by Mr Trump to install an Attorney General who was already on record as being skeptical of the Mueller investigation** and thus more likely to protect the president from any negative fallout.

When the 400-page Mueller Report was delivered to Mr Barr in March, 2019, the Attorney General quickly released a four-page summary that appeared to clear Mr Trump and his campaign of "collusion" with Russia, but declined to exonerate Mr Trump on charges of obstruction of justice. Mr Barr's thin summary was quickly seized upon by Mr Trump and his supporters, who quickly, loudly, constantly, and inaccurately trumpeted that he had been "completely and totally exonerated" from what the Trump partisans loudly and constantly declared to be a "witch hunt."

Although he had more-or-less committed to public release of the full Mueller Report, Mr Barr slow-walked the process of redacting various categories of information, delaying delivery of the full report to Congress and allowing the White House to loudly bang the exoneration drum before any more nuanced information contained in the report was revealed.

Later, during Congressional testimony on the Department of Justice budget which quickly turned to a discussion of the status of the release of the full Mueller Report, Mr Barr declared - without providing evidence - that he was preparing to review “both the genesis and the conduct of intelligence activities directed at the Trump campaign,” including possible improper “spying” by American intelligence agencies. This, of course, echoed complaints long shouted by Mr Trump and his supporters and further served to inflame partisan anger and complicate the search for truth.

For his obvious efforts to protect Donald Trump rather than to uphold the rule of law and the search for truth, Attorney General William P. Barr is named the Right-Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for April, 2019. Perhaps he will rise to the responsibilities of his office, but I'm not holding my breath ... and neither should you.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - you know you need the laughs. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Amazingly enough, never the recipient of an Ass Clown Award of his own.

**  Narrowly viewed, an investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and the possible cooperation of the Trump campaign with that interference. Later somewhat broadened to include an examination of whether or not Donald Trump or his enablers committed obstruction of justice by attempting to interfere with or derail the investigation itself.

Musical Sunday

When the news sucks as much as it has lately, I can always use good, uplifting music to help get past it. This wonderful song by Judy Collins, even though I've featured it here before, never gets old ...

Be someone's rainbow coming around the bend.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

If you thought April was going to be an improvement on March, think again ...

The UK has asked for yet another extension of its Brexit deadline in order to get its fecal material together, this time until June 30th; a teenager in Ohio was arrested and charged with 40 felony and 33 misdemeanor delinquency charges for making malicious "swatting" calls to police; members of Robert Mueller's investigation team are alleging that the summary of their report prepared by Attorney General Robert Barr misstates the report's content, which they claim is much more critical of Donald Trump; a nearly 20-hour long hostage situation in Georgia ended on Friday with a gunman and two hostages dead and two police officers wounded; and New Mexico became the 14th state* to pledge that its Electoral College votes will be credited to the winner of the nationwide popular vote, if enough other states agree to do so as well.

This week, in honor of the ongoing efforts to see Donald Trump's and Bernie Sanders's tax returns, and since the official tax deadline for this year is only ten days away, let's look at a few cartoons about one of the least funny of topics ...

Well, of course ... somebody's got to cough up the money to pay for that wall ...

A long time ago, in an accountant's office far, far away ...

Especially the lawsuit part ...

Maybe you can take it with you, but ...

I wonder if it also works for walls ...

Why I like the friendly lady who does our taxes for us ...

This is also a potential outcome of Congressional redistricting ...

How tax courts calculate prison time, at least for those who aren't rich enough to afford the right lawyer ...

The wages of sin are down everywhere ...

Tomato, tomahto ...

I hope this collection didn't tax your patience too much, and gave you something to chuckle at while you wait for the Trump/Sanders tax reveal.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for a Musical Sunday repeat visit to one of my favorite Judy Collins tunes. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* The others are California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington state, and the District of Columbia. Yes, I know DC is not a state.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

New month, new howlers ...

No wonder it takes so long to get things done at the DMV now that squirrels need licenses, too ...

Obviously defective ...

Whatever works ...

Someone's got our number ...

It must have taken a while to search the house ...

It may not work as well among dogs and cats ...

One hopes not ...

Great moments in Chinese menu translations, Part 1 ...

Great moments in Chinese menu translations, Part 2 ...

Great moments in Chinese menu translations, Part 3 ...

And so it goes. Have a good day, be careful in Chinese restaurants, and come back tomorrow to help kick off the weekend with Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

At least here in NoVa, March is going out like the proverbial lamb, setting us up for what we hope will be a pleasant April spring. This poem by Linda Pastan evokes the beauty of the new season ...

Elegy

by Linda Pastan

Our final dogwood leans
over the forest floor
offering berries
to the birds, the squirrels.
It's a relic
of the days when dogwoods
flourished—creamy lace in April,
spilled milk in May—
their beauty delicate
but commonplace.
When I took for granted
that the world would remain
as it was, and I
would remain with it.

Sadly, the world never remains as it was, and neither do we. Whether that's good or bad depends on your point of view. Enjoy the creamy lace of the dogwoods in April ... there's precious little beauty out there unless we decide to look for it.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

It's the last Cartoon Saturday for the miserable month of March, 2019. I thought it would never get here ...

Beginning on April 3rd, a new law comes into effect in the small southeast Asian kingdom of Brunei that will punish homosexual sex and adultery with death by stoning ... Mike Pence will lead a new presidential commission to determine how that law can be applied in the United States; British Prime Minister Theresa May offered to resign her position if the UK Parliament would approve any of eight different options for a Brexit deal ... she's still in the job and Parliament has rejected everything but the Magna Carta*; Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was forced to revoke her cancellation of funding for the Special Olympics after the move proved too mean-spirited even for the present administration; two people, including a tourist who was taking pictures, died at the Grand Canyon in two separate incidents; and a former contractor for the National Security Agency, described as a “hoarder” by his lawyer, pleaded guilty Thursday to illegally retaining a huge volume of government secrets at his house.

This week, in "honor" of all the attorneys on all sides who've spent the last few days foaming at the mouth on television over the outcome of the Mueller Investigation, I thought some cartoons about lawyers would be appropriate.

I'd long suspected that this was the final step in the education and preparation of many lawyers ...

Somehow I just can't see a lawyer as a superhero ...

Nowadays, it's a valid defense ...

It's a valid point ...

This makes perfect sense when you consider that God Almighty had Ten Commandments, and the US Legal Code has 50 "Titles" and consists of more than 23,000 pages of text ... 

This is pretty much how it seems any more, isn't it? ...

I'd love to have been on that jury ... 

If nothing else, the Mueller Investigation gave us the marvelous term perjury trap ... which is lawyer-speak for a devastating question the defendant really doesn't want to have to answer ...

Nowadays, the truth is what is shouted first, loud enough, and long enough to exhaust everyone into believing it's actually the truth ...

The Mueller Report in a nutshell ...

And the gavel falls on the last collection of cartoons for the month. I hope you enjoyed them, and they gave you a much-needed perspective on the legal profession. 

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for the last Poetry Sunday of the month ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

* British lawmakers rejecting every attempt at a Brexit deal, but with no plan of their own for a replacement deal, sounds a lot like US Republicans relentlessly attacking the Affordable Care Act with no clue how to replace it.

The On-Crack Ass Clown for March, 2019

March is one of those months in which the number of days and their distribution over the month allows us to name three, rather than the usual two, Ass Clown of the Month awardees. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, because I already want to throw large and heavy objects at my TV screen or savagely rend my newspaper into fine shreds when I see or read about many potential recipients. Nevertheless, it's my job and I'll put on my hip waders and rubber gloves, hold my nose, and dig into the festering cesspool for the third time this month to name

The On-Crack Ass Clown for March, 2019

And the award goes to

Presidential Attorney and Media Gadfly

Rudy Giuliani

This is the second Ass Clown award for Mr Giuliani (the first was in October, 2016, which you can review here). At that time, Mr Giuliani was cited for his aggressive - bordering on hyperbolic - defense of then-candidate Donald Trump's every bizarre or questionable action. Today, the same commentary applies in spades as Mr Giuliani loudly, constantly, and inaccurately* trumpets that the Mueller Investigation has completely and totally exonerated Mr Trump. While this is apparently true in the sense that no "collusion" between the Trump campaign and Russia was proven, it is patently false in that the report specifically does not exonerate Mr Trump on the subject of obstruction of justice.

If nothing else, the two year period of the Mueller investigation has managed to highlight - in the person of Mr Giuliani and the other members of the Trump legal team - the worst of the legal profession. It's little wonder that lawyers are held in such low esteem.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the On-Crack Ass Clown for March of 2019 is Rudi Giuliani, receiving his second award. He should just stick to chasing ambulances rather than spewing vast clouds of confusing legal jargon and smugly defending the indefensible.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... which we all really need right now. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* The Muller Report actually says (as quoted by Attorney General Barr in his summary), “while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime [obstruction of justice], it also does not exonerate him.” Make of that what you will.

Musical Sunday

Yesterday, March 23rd, we noted the birthday of German rocket scientist Wernher von Braun, whose work developing long-range missiles for Nazi Germany provided the later foundation for the US space program. The checkered career of Wernher von Braun was celebrated by satirical singer Tom Lehrer in this classic tune ...

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo