I was combing through my "blog fodder" file for something to write about today, and found a link to this article from CNN online back on June 9th of this year: Government Unveils World's Fastest Computer. I went back to the link and found only the headline and highlights still there (I guess the article was past its freshness date), but it was still interesting.
According to the highlights, the world's fastest computer (as of June 9th, 2008, which no doubt means it's already obsolete) is named "Roadrunner," and is capable of sustaining 1,000 trillion operations per second, which is a lot. To put it in perspective, a thousand trillion dollars is probably what Northrop Grumman and Boeing are spending on full-page newspaper ads sniping at each other over who should build the Air Force's next tanker aircraft (if you live in the DC area, you'll understand). Anyhow, the highlights go on to note that researchers from IBM and the Los Alamos National Laboratory worked for six years to build Roadrunner, which will be used "to help maintain the nation's nuclear weapons stockpile."
This is sad.
Not that maintaining the nation's nuclear weapons stockpile without blowing one up occasionally to see if it works is a bad thing, particularly if you own real estate near where it would be blown up. But I can think of a lot of other things such an incredibly powerful computer could be used for...
It could be used to calculate the flow of illegal immigrants across the Mexican border (with the US, that is...Mexico very seriously and violently prevents illegal crossing into Mexico along it's border with Belize and Guatemala);
It could be used to estimate the rate at which the current administration is piling up debt that our grandchildren will inherit;
It could be used to model the long-term effects on real people of the implosion of the financial system caused by greed, arrogance of power, and the systematic dismantling of the regulatory systems that used to keep that greed and arrogance under control;
It could be programmed to play chess well enough to beat the average 6 year old Russian grand master.
Just a few grouchy thoughts, since I'm feeling cranky this morning.
On a brighter note, if you live in the Northern Virginia area near Woodbridge, I can recommend a great restaurant: The Korean Grill at 3131 Golansky Blvd. Agnes and I met our friends Nadja and Yoonie for lunch there yesterday, and really enjoyed it...the prices were reasonable (except for that part about the $1.99 iced tea), the portions just right for lunch, and the food excellent. Strongly recommended, even if you can't go there in the company of three beautiful ladies, as I was lucky enough to do.
Eat your heart out, Mike.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.
Bilbo
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
If Paint Were Priced Like Airline Tickets
Two posts in one day! That means either that I have too much time on my hands, or that I'm putting off cleaning the study yet again. I think you can figure which is the correct answer.
Last month The Gilahi Blog published a hysterically funny post titled How to Refurbish a Hallway in 52 Easy Steps...it seems that Gilahi has a problem with paint similar to the one I have with wallpaper. His post reminded me about an equally funny piece I'd run across a while back that looked at what buying paint would be like if the price of paint were calculated the same way the price of airline tickets is. I looked for quite a while in my woefully-disorganized files before I finally found it, and thought it was funny enough to share with you.
I don't know who the original author of this piece is, but I'd like to buy him (or her) a beer.
So sit back, relax, and consider what buying paint might be like in the worst of all possible worlds...
Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?
Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.
Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.
Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.
Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!
Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: What?
Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.
Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.
Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy my paint.
Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules. Thanks for painting with us!
And so it goes...
Enjoy your evening. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Last month The Gilahi Blog published a hysterically funny post titled How to Refurbish a Hallway in 52 Easy Steps...it seems that Gilahi has a problem with paint similar to the one I have with wallpaper. His post reminded me about an equally funny piece I'd run across a while back that looked at what buying paint would be like if the price of paint were calculated the same way the price of airline tickets is. I looked for quite a while in my woefully-disorganized files before I finally found it, and thought it was funny enough to share with you.
I don't know who the original author of this piece is, but I'd like to buy him (or her) a beer.
So sit back, relax, and consider what buying paint might be like in the worst of all possible worlds...
Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?
Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.
Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.
Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.
Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!
Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: What?
Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.
Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.
Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy my paint.
Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules. Thanks for painting with us!
And so it goes...
Enjoy your evening. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Cartoon Saturday
Another week has passed and a new month is here...what better way to celebrate than with Cartoon Saturday?
When Agnes and I bought our first king-sized mattress, it took some getting used to. It wasn't quite this bad, but it was close...
Performance anxiety is one thing, but...
I'm glad I never got into trouble in this class...
I spend a lot of time at work grumbling about the mix of music on our office sound system (all Johnny Cash, all the time, alternated with heavy metal, is a bit much for an old-goat-in-training). Everyone else complains about the music I contributed, too, but they can complain in their own blogs. When this cartoon showed up on my calendar, everyone agreed it was really me...
And finally, there's bird flu and there's ... well ...
Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
When Agnes and I bought our first king-sized mattress, it took some getting used to. It wasn't quite this bad, but it was close...
Performance anxiety is one thing, but...
I'm glad I never got into trouble in this class...
I spend a lot of time at work grumbling about the mix of music on our office sound system (all Johnny Cash, all the time, alternated with heavy metal, is a bit much for an old-goat-in-training). Everyone else complains about the music I contributed, too, but they can complain in their own blogs. When this cartoon showed up on my calendar, everyone agreed it was really me...
And finally, there's bird flu and there's ... well ...
Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.Bilbo
Friday, August 01, 2008
Election Ruminations
I've spent the last three days out of the office at a conference, and so today is likely to feature the usual first-day-back-in-the-office activities: sorting through 200 e-mails on each of four work accounts; responding to a series of increasingly hysterical voice mails; and trying to extricate myself from all the tasks I was assigned because I wasn't there to defend myself. Sigh.
But the weekend is shimmering on the gradually-approaching horizon, and that will help keep me focused on the goal of getting to the end of the day.
Just a few general observations this morning before I head for the office...
The presidential campaign is lurching on, with the candidates continuing along their sad trajectories. Senator McCain's campaign has run a silly commercial featuring intellectual heavyweights Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie in an attempt to imply that Senator Obama is nothing more than a lightweight celebrity not ready to be president. As you know, I happen to agree with that assessment...Senator Obama's chief qualification for the job is that he isn't George Bush...but I thought the commercial was a cheap shot unworthy of either candidate and insulting to the public.
Senator Obama, for his part, is running a less negative campaign, although he is trying skillfully to navigate the rocky shoals of race. On the one hand, he must appeal to lower- and middle-class white voters who may be uncomfortable with the idea of a black president; on the other, he can't afford to give black voters the sense that he's "acting white" or selling out their interests. It's a difficult problem, complicated by the fact (in my humble opinion) that - at this point in his political career - he really doesn't have the experience and seasoning to be president. That said, I think he's going to win the election, in spite of my strong endorsement of the candidacy of Nobody (read the formal endorsement in my June 2oth post), if only because everyone is so fed up with the current administration. Senator McCain, although he has a reputation as a maverick, is too closely aligned with the unpopular and unfortunate policies of President Bush.
I'm reminded of this wonderful quote from Henry L. Mencken, the Sage of Baltimore: "Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right."
Oh, well. The Republic has survived Calvin Coolidge, Millard Fillmore, and Richard Nixon. We'll survive George Bush (but sweeping up the broken glass will be hard). And we'll survive either Barack Obama or John McCain.
But Australia is looking pretty good.
Have a good day. Cartoon Saturday is coming!
Bilbo
But the weekend is shimmering on the gradually-approaching horizon, and that will help keep me focused on the goal of getting to the end of the day.
Just a few general observations this morning before I head for the office...
The presidential campaign is lurching on, with the candidates continuing along their sad trajectories. Senator McCain's campaign has run a silly commercial featuring intellectual heavyweights Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie in an attempt to imply that Senator Obama is nothing more than a lightweight celebrity not ready to be president. As you know, I happen to agree with that assessment...Senator Obama's chief qualification for the job is that he isn't George Bush...but I thought the commercial was a cheap shot unworthy of either candidate and insulting to the public.
Senator Obama, for his part, is running a less negative campaign, although he is trying skillfully to navigate the rocky shoals of race. On the one hand, he must appeal to lower- and middle-class white voters who may be uncomfortable with the idea of a black president; on the other, he can't afford to give black voters the sense that he's "acting white" or selling out their interests. It's a difficult problem, complicated by the fact (in my humble opinion) that - at this point in his political career - he really doesn't have the experience and seasoning to be president. That said, I think he's going to win the election, in spite of my strong endorsement of the candidacy of Nobody (read the formal endorsement in my June 2oth post), if only because everyone is so fed up with the current administration. Senator McCain, although he has a reputation as a maverick, is too closely aligned with the unpopular and unfortunate policies of President Bush.
I'm reminded of this wonderful quote from Henry L. Mencken, the Sage of Baltimore: "Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right."
Oh, well. The Republic has survived Calvin Coolidge, Millard Fillmore, and Richard Nixon. We'll survive George Bush (but sweeping up the broken glass will be hard). And we'll survive either Barack Obama or John McCain.
But Australia is looking pretty good.
Have a good day. Cartoon Saturday is coming!
Bilbo
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The House Apologizes for Slavery
On Tuesday of this week, the House of Representatives woke up, yawned, scratched it's collective armpit, stuck up a wetted finger to test the political wind, and then took the masterful and courageous move of apologizing for slavery and for Jim Crow segregation laws.
Oh, for Pete's sake...
In the early days of this blog, I commented on discussions in the Virginia legislature about issuing a formal apology for slavery. My comment was along the lines of, well, it's a useless gesture, but if it makes everyone feel better and gets them to focus on the future instead of the past, let's go ahead and apologize. The first comment I received on that post began with the immortal words, "You're an idiot," and went downhill from there, castigating me for endorsing an apology for actions that neither I nor anyone alive today had anything to do with. Well, I may be an idiot (no need to comment, Mike), but I stand by my original point.
This Congress has much to apologize for, including:
* failure to pass immigration reform;
* failure to develop a national energy policy;
* failure to stand up to an overreaching and imperial President;
* failure to develop immediate and long-range measures to resolve the economic crisis; and,
* failure to address the crisis in public education...just to name a few.
Instead, Congress has chosen to pander to black Americans by issuing a symbolic and ultimately useless apology for actions taken hundreds of years ago. Evil and unfortunate actions, to be sure, but actions that have long been addressed - by the outlawing of slavery more than 140 years ago and the passage of civil rights legislation more than 40 years ago.
Whether these actions are enough depends on your race and point of view. Many people today blame every ill of the black community on the lingering and pernicious effects of the era of slavery and Jim Crow, arguing that blacks continue to be held down by a society devoted to keeping them in a second-class status.
Where I come from, we call this a crock.
There is no doubt that America's black community suffers from many problems, and that there is still lingering racism in this country. However, there are also many self-inflicted wounds in the black community: a thug culture of the young that glorifies crime and misogyny over education; rampant drug abuse; distrust of the police and other authority; fractured families and and soaring rates of out-of-wedlock births; and the fostering of a culture of victimhood and dependence over personal responsibility. There's also the tendency of many black citizens to turn to Islam...ignoring the historic fact that Islamic Arabs were among the most active of the traders who sold generations of Africans into slavery
Did I just say all that? Now there are a few reasons for people to call me an idiot.
If the House's apology makes you feel better, that's great. Now let's get over it. Let's concentrate on fixing public education and stabilizing the economy so that well-educated people of all races can find good jobs to build a better life.
If Congress can't do that, they really have something to apologize for.
But I'm not holding my breath.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Oh, for Pete's sake...
In the early days of this blog, I commented on discussions in the Virginia legislature about issuing a formal apology for slavery. My comment was along the lines of, well, it's a useless gesture, but if it makes everyone feel better and gets them to focus on the future instead of the past, let's go ahead and apologize. The first comment I received on that post began with the immortal words, "You're an idiot," and went downhill from there, castigating me for endorsing an apology for actions that neither I nor anyone alive today had anything to do with. Well, I may be an idiot (no need to comment, Mike), but I stand by my original point.
This Congress has much to apologize for, including:
* failure to pass immigration reform;
* failure to develop a national energy policy;
* failure to stand up to an overreaching and imperial President;
* failure to develop immediate and long-range measures to resolve the economic crisis; and,
* failure to address the crisis in public education...just to name a few.
Instead, Congress has chosen to pander to black Americans by issuing a symbolic and ultimately useless apology for actions taken hundreds of years ago. Evil and unfortunate actions, to be sure, but actions that have long been addressed - by the outlawing of slavery more than 140 years ago and the passage of civil rights legislation more than 40 years ago.
Whether these actions are enough depends on your race and point of view. Many people today blame every ill of the black community on the lingering and pernicious effects of the era of slavery and Jim Crow, arguing that blacks continue to be held down by a society devoted to keeping them in a second-class status.
Where I come from, we call this a crock.
There is no doubt that America's black community suffers from many problems, and that there is still lingering racism in this country. However, there are also many self-inflicted wounds in the black community: a thug culture of the young that glorifies crime and misogyny over education; rampant drug abuse; distrust of the police and other authority; fractured families and and soaring rates of out-of-wedlock births; and the fostering of a culture of victimhood and dependence over personal responsibility. There's also the tendency of many black citizens to turn to Islam...ignoring the historic fact that Islamic Arabs were among the most active of the traders who sold generations of Africans into slavery
Did I just say all that? Now there are a few reasons for people to call me an idiot.
If the House's apology makes you feel better, that's great. Now let's get over it. Let's concentrate on fixing public education and stabilizing the economy so that well-educated people of all races can find good jobs to build a better life.
If Congress can't do that, they really have something to apologize for.
But I'm not holding my breath.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Rhyme and Punishment
A few days ago, I read this very interesting piece on the Project Syndicate website: Osama bin Laden, Bard of Terror. It discusses Osama bin Laden's masterful use of classical Arabic poetic style to deliver his messages, with author Bernard Haykel noting that, "Arab culture places a high value on poetic expression, and so it is no coincidence that it appears repeatedly in Al Qaeda's propaganda."
Well, damn and blast...that foul bastard has found yet another good thing to ruin.
As it happens, I really enjoy poetry. I especially love to read good poems aloud for the rhythmic quality of the language. My favorites include:
"Casey at the Bat," by Ernest Lawrence Thayer - I can really do a rousing reading of this one, the classic fun baseball story.
"The Fool's Prayer," by Edward R. Sill - if this one doesn't make you think, or even bring tears to your eyes, something's wrong.
"The Road Not Taken," by Robert Frost - the classic "what if?" poem.
"The Power of the Dog" and "The Thousandth Man," by Rudyard Kipling - if you're a dog lover, you'll love the first one; and the second is one of the best celebrations of friendship and loyalty you'll ever read.
"The Cremation of Sam McGee," by Robert W. Service - this is one of the best poems ever written to read aloud, with it's irresistible cadence and eerie lyrics building to a great tall tale of the Yukon.
And finally,
"The Raven," by Edgar Allan Poe - a classic of poetic construction, and another poem meant to be read aloud...preferably on a dark and stormy night.
Osama bin Laden is a monster with much to answer for when Judgment Day rolls around, and using poetry as a way of spreading his evil message is another reason to despise him. I have this dream about Casey swinging that mighty bat at his empty, turbaned head...
Have a good day. Read some poetry. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Well, damn and blast...that foul bastard has found yet another good thing to ruin.
As it happens, I really enjoy poetry. I especially love to read good poems aloud for the rhythmic quality of the language. My favorites include:
"Casey at the Bat," by Ernest Lawrence Thayer - I can really do a rousing reading of this one, the classic fun baseball story.
"The Fool's Prayer," by Edward R. Sill - if this one doesn't make you think, or even bring tears to your eyes, something's wrong.
"The Road Not Taken," by Robert Frost - the classic "what if?" poem.
"The Power of the Dog" and "The Thousandth Man," by Rudyard Kipling - if you're a dog lover, you'll love the first one; and the second is one of the best celebrations of friendship and loyalty you'll ever read.
"The Cremation of Sam McGee," by Robert W. Service - this is one of the best poems ever written to read aloud, with it's irresistible cadence and eerie lyrics building to a great tall tale of the Yukon.
And finally,
"The Raven," by Edgar Allan Poe - a classic of poetic construction, and another poem meant to be read aloud...preferably on a dark and stormy night.
Osama bin Laden is a monster with much to answer for when Judgment Day rolls around, and using poetry as a way of spreading his evil message is another reason to despise him. I have this dream about Casey swinging that mighty bat at his empty, turbaned head...
Have a good day. Read some poetry. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Here We Go Again...
One of the nice things about living in the greater Washington, DC, area is that you never lack for stupid things on which to comment in your blog. It doesn't quite compensate for the traffic, the cost of living, and the summer heat and humidity, but it helps.
For today's example of Stupidity In Action, I call your attention to this article from this morning's Washington Post: "D.C. Is Sued Again Over Handgun Rules."
It seems that the gentleman who filed the lawsuit which led to the recent Supreme Court decision overturning D.C.'s ban on the ownership of handguns is back in court with yet another lawsuit. This time, Mr Heller is claiming that the new gun-registration system proposed in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling is burdensome and continues to illegally outlaw most semiautomatic pistols.
Let me say up front that I agree with Mr Heller's basic point. If you accept the argument that handguns are necessary for self-defense in D.C., then regulations which require you to keep your gun disassembled, equipped with a trigger lock, and/or unloaded rather defeat the purpose of having it in the first place...after all, if some coked-up ass clown breaks into your home, he's unlikely to wait for you to reassemble, unlock, and load your gun so you can shoot him before he does you ill. In this sense, the new D.C. gun laws are clearly unconstitutional, not to mention silly.
On the other hand, I really have a hard time believing that pumping more legal guns into D.C. to counteract the illegal ones already there is really going to help. I think the more likely long-term result will be more self-inflicted injuries and people using guns to settle domestic disputes. And more guns certainly won't protect us from the legal armed robbery that goes on in the halls of Congress and the office buildings along K Street, anyhow.
Another long-term effect of the new lawsuit, though, is more insidious. The District must once again shell out a few cubic meters of hundred dollar bills to pay reinforced battalions of lawyers to defend itself against the suit. This is money that won't be spent to fix the schools, repair the infrastructure, put more police on the streets, improve emergency services, and put up some decent directional signs so tourists (and locals) can actually navigate around the city.
Mr Heller is within his rights to file all the suits he wants. But no matter what the outcome of his suit, the only real winners will be the lawyers. Think about that the next time you complain about all the problems that the District has no money to fix.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
For today's example of Stupidity In Action, I call your attention to this article from this morning's Washington Post: "D.C. Is Sued Again Over Handgun Rules."
It seems that the gentleman who filed the lawsuit which led to the recent Supreme Court decision overturning D.C.'s ban on the ownership of handguns is back in court with yet another lawsuit. This time, Mr Heller is claiming that the new gun-registration system proposed in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling is burdensome and continues to illegally outlaw most semiautomatic pistols.
Let me say up front that I agree with Mr Heller's basic point. If you accept the argument that handguns are necessary for self-defense in D.C., then regulations which require you to keep your gun disassembled, equipped with a trigger lock, and/or unloaded rather defeat the purpose of having it in the first place...after all, if some coked-up ass clown breaks into your home, he's unlikely to wait for you to reassemble, unlock, and load your gun so you can shoot him before he does you ill. In this sense, the new D.C. gun laws are clearly unconstitutional, not to mention silly.
On the other hand, I really have a hard time believing that pumping more legal guns into D.C. to counteract the illegal ones already there is really going to help. I think the more likely long-term result will be more self-inflicted injuries and people using guns to settle domestic disputes. And more guns certainly won't protect us from the legal armed robbery that goes on in the halls of Congress and the office buildings along K Street, anyhow.
Another long-term effect of the new lawsuit, though, is more insidious. The District must once again shell out a few cubic meters of hundred dollar bills to pay reinforced battalions of lawyers to defend itself against the suit. This is money that won't be spent to fix the schools, repair the infrastructure, put more police on the streets, improve emergency services, and put up some decent directional signs so tourists (and locals) can actually navigate around the city.
Mr Heller is within his rights to file all the suits he wants. But no matter what the outcome of his suit, the only real winners will be the lawyers. Think about that the next time you complain about all the problems that the District has no money to fix.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Monday, July 28, 2008
What Women Want
Ever since Og dragged Ogette back to his cave for a saber-toothed tiger dinner by firelight, men have wondered what women really want.
Wonder no more.
Today, as a public service, I share with men everywhere this amazing analysis that arrived this morning by way of my "Daily Joke" e-mail. Not to imply that this is a laughing matter, however - it is a deadly serious issue with implications for a man's life, health, and sanity.
This is what women want in a man:
At age 22: handsome, charming, financially successful, a caring listener, witty, good shape, provides frequent and vigorous sex, dresses with style, appreciates finer things, thoughtful surprises.
At age 32: nice looking, prefer hair, opens car doors, holds chairs, has enough money for a nice dinner, listens more than talks, laughs at her jokes, carries groceries, owns a tie, appreciates home-cooked meals, provides vigorous sex once a week or so, remembers birthdays and anniversaries, seeks romance.
At age 42: not too ugly (bald okay), doesn't drive off until she's in the car, steady job, occasional dinners out, nods head when she speaks, provides acceptable sex twice a month or so, usually remembers punch lines, good enough shape to rearrange furniture, wears shirts that cover his stomach, won't buy screw-top champagne, puts toilet seat down, shaves most weekends.
At age 52: trims nose and ear hair, doesn't belch or scratch (in public), doesn't borrow money, stays awake when she vents, doesn't want sex too often, doesn't retell jokes, can get off the couch on weekends, wears matching socks, usually wears clean underwear, appreciates a good TV dinner, usually remembers her name, shaves some weekends.
At age 62: won't scare small children, remembers where bathroom is, doesn't require much money, snores lightly while asleep, reminisces about good sex, remembers why he's laughing, can stand up by himself, usually wears clothes, likes soft foods, remembers where he put his teeth, remembers it's a weekend.
At age 72: breathing. Cares less about sexual performance than about continence. Hits the toilet.
At age 82: his inheritance.
For the record, as I close in on 57, here's how I think I shape up:
- Trims nose and ear hair: check;
- Doesn't belch or scratch (in public): mostly;
- Doesn't borrow money: check;
- Stays awake when she vents: check;
- Doesn't want sex too often: um...pass;
- Doesn't retell jokes: uh...we'll pass on this one, too;
- Can get off the couch on weekends: check;
- Wears matching socks: my color vision isn't quite right, so...;
- Usually wears clean underwear: check;
- Appreciates a good TV dinner: I hate TV dinners...but I can cook;
- Usually remembers her name: always remembers her name!;
- Shaves some weekends: check.
How do the rest of you shape up?
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Wonder no more.
Today, as a public service, I share with men everywhere this amazing analysis that arrived this morning by way of my "Daily Joke" e-mail. Not to imply that this is a laughing matter, however - it is a deadly serious issue with implications for a man's life, health, and sanity.
This is what women want in a man:
At age 22: handsome, charming, financially successful, a caring listener, witty, good shape, provides frequent and vigorous sex, dresses with style, appreciates finer things, thoughtful surprises.
At age 32: nice looking, prefer hair, opens car doors, holds chairs, has enough money for a nice dinner, listens more than talks, laughs at her jokes, carries groceries, owns a tie, appreciates home-cooked meals, provides vigorous sex once a week or so, remembers birthdays and anniversaries, seeks romance.
At age 42: not too ugly (bald okay), doesn't drive off until she's in the car, steady job, occasional dinners out, nods head when she speaks, provides acceptable sex twice a month or so, usually remembers punch lines, good enough shape to rearrange furniture, wears shirts that cover his stomach, won't buy screw-top champagne, puts toilet seat down, shaves most weekends.
At age 52: trims nose and ear hair, doesn't belch or scratch (in public), doesn't borrow money, stays awake when she vents, doesn't want sex too often, doesn't retell jokes, can get off the couch on weekends, wears matching socks, usually wears clean underwear, appreciates a good TV dinner, usually remembers her name, shaves some weekends.
At age 62: won't scare small children, remembers where bathroom is, doesn't require much money, snores lightly while asleep, reminisces about good sex, remembers why he's laughing, can stand up by himself, usually wears clothes, likes soft foods, remembers where he put his teeth, remembers it's a weekend.
At age 72: breathing. Cares less about sexual performance than about continence. Hits the toilet.
At age 82: his inheritance.
For the record, as I close in on 57, here's how I think I shape up:
- Trims nose and ear hair: check;
- Doesn't belch or scratch (in public): mostly;
- Doesn't borrow money: check;
- Stays awake when she vents: check;
- Doesn't want sex too often: um...pass;
- Doesn't retell jokes: uh...we'll pass on this one, too;
- Can get off the couch on weekends: check;
- Wears matching socks: my color vision isn't quite right, so...;
- Usually wears clean underwear: check;
- Appreciates a good TV dinner: I hate TV dinners...but I can cook;
- Usually remembers her name: always remembers her name!;
- Shaves some weekends: check.
How do the rest of you shape up?
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bilbo and Agnes Dance the Viennese Waltz
Since I had the time to play with the video capture program again while the laundry was doing its thing, I thought I'd try to capture some of our performances from last weekend's Virginia State DanceSport Championships. After looking at the DVD of our heats, I selected this one as the most free of glaring mistakes on my part...
The dance is the Viennese Waltz. Dance champion Corky Ballas once said that it was a very simple dance, consisting only of left turns, right turns, and closed changes...the problem was that you had to do them at a hundred miles an hour. This makes the Viennese Waltz a very aerobically demanding dance (think running the 440 in a tuxedo), which explains the look of horror on my face and the titter in the ballroom when the announcer asks the DJ for a "three-minute Viennese Waltz." And so, moving at not quite a hundred miles an hour, here are Agnes and I dancing the Viennese Waltz...
I'm still reviewing the rest of the heat videos...if I find another one that doesn't look too bad, I'll put it up later this week.
By the way, the dress Agnes is wearing was a new one, and quite spectacular. The event organizers' liability insurance protected them from lawsuits from all the men who walked into things or tripped and fell down while gawking at her.
In the meantime, all you men out there reading this and watching the video: that's a room full of beautiful ladies waiting to be danced with. It could be you dancing with them. All you need to do is get off your wide rear end and take some lessons.
Just a thought...
Have a good day. More thoughts later.
Bilbo
The dance is the Viennese Waltz. Dance champion Corky Ballas once said that it was a very simple dance, consisting only of left turns, right turns, and closed changes...the problem was that you had to do them at a hundred miles an hour. This makes the Viennese Waltz a very aerobically demanding dance (think running the 440 in a tuxedo), which explains the look of horror on my face and the titter in the ballroom when the announcer asks the DJ for a "three-minute Viennese Waltz." And so, moving at not quite a hundred miles an hour, here are Agnes and I dancing the Viennese Waltz...
I'm still reviewing the rest of the heat videos...if I find another one that doesn't look too bad, I'll put it up later this week.
By the way, the dress Agnes is wearing was a new one, and quite spectacular. The event organizers' liability insurance protected them from lawsuits from all the men who walked into things or tripped and fell down while gawking at her.
In the meantime, all you men out there reading this and watching the video: that's a room full of beautiful ladies waiting to be danced with. It could be you dancing with them. All you need to do is get off your wide rear end and take some lessons.
Just a thought...
Have a good day. More thoughts later.
Bilbo
Lazy Sunday (But Not By Choice)
I'm posting a bit later than usual today, because this has turned out to be a lazy day, if not by choice.
Believe it or not, I actually got up today at the unheard-of (for me) hour of 8:00 AM...and that was after hitting the sack last night at about 9:30. Wow! Maybe I really am getting to be an old guy...
According to our original plans for today, Agnes and I should right about now be getting dressed and ready to head over to Dance Studio Lioudmila for their Summer Showcase, at which we are scheduled to dance our kick-ass, guaranteed-to-knock-your-socks-off Gold American Tango exhibition routine.
Unfortunately, Agnes is down for maintenance and I had to call Lioudmila yesterday and tell her we couldn't perform. I really felt badly about it, because I know that she often suffers a round of last-minute cancellations from students who get cold feet, but poor Agnes is really miserable ... she has the same gawd-awful summer cold/flu thing I had that took me more than two weeks to get over (and I'm still on antibiotics and sprays for the stubborn sinus infection that just won't go away).
Bummer.
So our day of dancing fun has turned into a day of doing laundry, paying bills, cleaning house, and doing all those other fun things it's so easy to put off. I was going to put up a video clip of Agnes and I from the Virginia State DanceSport Championships last weekend, but I didn't get the video transferred to the computer and edited yet...maybe later today, if I can get my act together.
Otherwise, things are good. The letter writing experiment is going pretty well: I've written and sent four out of five of the promised letters (my daughter is still waiting for hers); all four have been received; and I've received answers back from Andrea and Amanda. Mike is thinking hard about maybe someday writing back, and John will be trying to conjure up an answer sometime in his busy schedule. By the way, John noted in his Friday post that his blog, Out of My Hat, has reached its second anniversary. In that post, he wrote something that really resonated with me: "I never really expected to have a readership that went beyond family and friends much less one that circled the globe."
That's really true for me, too. When I first started this blog in March of 2006 I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep it up, and I certainly didn't think I'd have friends and pen-pals in places as far flung as Indonesia, the UK, Japan, Belgium, and around the US. There are links to my blog in all sorts of places I would never have expected, and my total number of comments is probably somewhere around 1700 (averaged out over about 710 posts, that's a little more than two per day...and considering that it took a while to get noticed in the first place, that's not bad).
But enough back-patting.
I just heard the washing machine signal that the latest load is done, and it's time to check on Agnes and see how she's doing. Punky probably needs to go for a walk, too, so I guess I should get up and get moving.
If I can get the video transferred over, I'll try to post another dance clip later today. Otherwise, I'll see you in this space again tomorrow.
Have a good day. More thoughts coming.
Bilbo
Believe it or not, I actually got up today at the unheard-of (for me) hour of 8:00 AM...and that was after hitting the sack last night at about 9:30. Wow! Maybe I really am getting to be an old guy...
According to our original plans for today, Agnes and I should right about now be getting dressed and ready to head over to Dance Studio Lioudmila for their Summer Showcase, at which we are scheduled to dance our kick-ass, guaranteed-to-knock-your-socks-off Gold American Tango exhibition routine.
Unfortunately, Agnes is down for maintenance and I had to call Lioudmila yesterday and tell her we couldn't perform. I really felt badly about it, because I know that she often suffers a round of last-minute cancellations from students who get cold feet, but poor Agnes is really miserable ... she has the same gawd-awful summer cold/flu thing I had that took me more than two weeks to get over (and I'm still on antibiotics and sprays for the stubborn sinus infection that just won't go away).
Bummer.
So our day of dancing fun has turned into a day of doing laundry, paying bills, cleaning house, and doing all those other fun things it's so easy to put off. I was going to put up a video clip of Agnes and I from the Virginia State DanceSport Championships last weekend, but I didn't get the video transferred to the computer and edited yet...maybe later today, if I can get my act together.
Otherwise, things are good. The letter writing experiment is going pretty well: I've written and sent four out of five of the promised letters (my daughter is still waiting for hers); all four have been received; and I've received answers back from Andrea and Amanda. Mike is thinking hard about maybe someday writing back, and John will be trying to conjure up an answer sometime in his busy schedule. By the way, John noted in his Friday post that his blog, Out of My Hat, has reached its second anniversary. In that post, he wrote something that really resonated with me: "I never really expected to have a readership that went beyond family and friends much less one that circled the globe."
That's really true for me, too. When I first started this blog in March of 2006 I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep it up, and I certainly didn't think I'd have friends and pen-pals in places as far flung as Indonesia, the UK, Japan, Belgium, and around the US. There are links to my blog in all sorts of places I would never have expected, and my total number of comments is probably somewhere around 1700 (averaged out over about 710 posts, that's a little more than two per day...and considering that it took a while to get noticed in the first place, that's not bad).
But enough back-patting.
I just heard the washing machine signal that the latest load is done, and it's time to check on Agnes and see how she's doing. Punky probably needs to go for a walk, too, so I guess I should get up and get moving.
If I can get the video transferred over, I'll try to post another dance clip later today. Otherwise, I'll see you in this space again tomorrow.
Have a good day. More thoughts coming.
Bilbo
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