Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Yes, Dear Readers, it's time for another collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage! Don't thank me, it's all part of my humble attempt to get you through another month of sucky news.

Must have been during a search at either Hannibal Lecter's place or Jeffrey Dahmer's ...

It's good to be specific about what you want ...

Yes, I'd say that was a pretty good sign ...

There are days when I think it's true ...

Dumbass criminal #286,947 ...

Looks like I went to the wrong school ...

I know there are a lot of very intelligent and capable dogs, but this one could probably run for Congress as a Republican ...

Sadly, they are not being elected to Congress ...

Stop playing games! ...

Uh, what was that again? ...

And there you go with the latest batch of Great Moments ... you know you needed the laughs.

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow, when our annual Cartoon Saturday salute to the Halloween season continues with a collection of cartoons about terrifying bloodsuckers ... no, not useless politicians soliciting for campaign contributions - vampires. See you then.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

Welcome to the first of our Halloween-themed Musical Sundays for October, as we ask the musical question, "If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call?" The answer, of course, unless you are Ron DeSantis or Greg Abbott, is NOT "a charter bus company or some guy with an airplane" ... you're going to do like Ray Parker, Junior, and call Ghostbusters!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend ... if you can't, you know who to call. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

And you thought Halloween season was scary ...

Country music icon Loretta Lynn died on Tuesday at the age of 90; at least 22 children were among the 39 people known dead in a mass murder at a child care center in Thailand; a truck bomb caused the partial collapse of the 12-mile bridge linking Russia to occupied Crimea; the Uvalde, Texas, school district has suspended its entire police force in the ongoing protests by parents whose children were murdered while police officers from several jurisdictions stood by and did nothing; and an Indiana judge has sentenced a woman to 115 years in prison for poisoning her ex-partners oatmeal in an attempt to kill him and, when that failed, strangling him to death with his favorite tie, although he did credit her with 748 days of time already served.

This week, our second October Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween focuses on everybody's favorite man of many parts, Frankenstein*.

It's one way to be really popular at parties ...  

Well, yes, there's that ...

Another one of those religious complications ...

It's good to have an excuse for the dreaded ED ...

And fortunately, there are ways to get around it ...

I would, too ...

It's as good an alibi as any ...

Yes, that would explain it ...

Some relationships just don't work out ...

The untold backstory ...

And that's our Frankenstein salute to Halloween for this, our second Cartoon Saturday of October ... hope you got a monstrously good laugh out of it.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for our first Musical Sunday salute to Halloween. More thoughts then, bwa, ha, HAAAA!!!

Bilbo

* Yes, I know that "Frankenstein" is the doctor and "Frankenstein's Monster" is the ... well ... monster, but just work with me on this, okay?

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2022

The decision on this period's award begins with a person who, as the saying goes, said the quiet part out loud. In the wake of the cascading examples of the gross unfitness for office of GOP Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker, Republican activist and former NRA talking head Dana Loesch made the following shocking, yet totally predictable comment on her radio program this past Monday:

"I don't care if Herschel Walker paid to abort endangered baby eagles. I want control of the Senate."

She went on to diplomatically add,

“If the Daily Beast story is true, you’re telling me Walker used his money to reportedly pay some skank for an abortion and Warnock wants to use all of our monies to pay a whole bunch of skanks for abortions ... I don't know if he did it or not. I don't even care.”

Yes, she said the quiet part out loud. "Paying off skanks" is irrelevant, as are honesty, integrity, and a coherent and clearly stated program of government. Power is all that matters. And so it is that we name as 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2022

for the eleventh time (17th if you count shared awards)

The Republican Party

As the midterm elections approach, the "Grand Old Party" has gone into high gear with an enormous barrage of fact-free ads, tweets, bilge, and general allegations designed to cast doubt on the achievements of the Biden Administration while obscuring the fact that the Republican Party itself has no ideas, no programs, no policies, and no responsible positions of its own. Even its much-ballyhooed "Commitment to America" is less a commitment than a plan-free list of conservative whines ... in case you missed it, my take on it's empty, vacuous text can be found in this post from last week. You may also be interested in historian Heather Cox Richardson's discussion of it. 

New analysis by Amy Gardner of The Washington Post reveals that 299 Republican candidates* for the House, Senate, and important state offices in the coming midterm elections deny that President Biden won the 2020 election. Many of those running at the state level are competing for positions that will give them oversight of state elections, ensuring that hard-core GOP functionaries will be in a position to overturn electoral results that don't favor their party.  

The traditional Republican Party is long dead, with its most rapid period of decline beginning with the presidency of Ronald Reagan and culminating with the disastrous administration of Der Furor**, who still holds the party in thrall despite the overwhelming evidence of his criminality, malfeasance, vindictiveness, and general unfitness to hold any elected office. The fact that so many Americans are willing to swallow the debunked conspiracy theories, provable lies, and gross distortions of today's GOP says much about today's America, little of it good.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, once again - and for the fourth time this year - the battered tinfoil and toilet paper Ass Clown crown is presented to the Republican Party ... and, by extension, to those deluded and bitter Americans foolish enough to vote for people like Der Furor, Herschel Walker, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mehmet Oz, and the rest of the GOP's clown car.

Vote wisely next month ... the sort of government the GOP would bring in ... whether honestly elected or not ... is a frightening thought.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for the second Halloween-themed Cartoon Saturday of the month, when we'll visit with a man of many parts - Frankenstein. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* 174 of them in reliably Republican districts.

** Time for a plug: if you've not read Andy Borowitz's hysterically funny yet heartbreakingly sad book "Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber," do it now. Only a comic and writer as talented as Andy Borowitz could describe Sarah Palin as "the gateway ignoramus who led to [Der Furor]."

Economics for Dummies

Last Monday I received an e-mail from our local trash and recycling contractor that reflects the reality of economics in the year 2022. Here's the key paragraph:

"Although we have done our best to keep our rates as low as possible, recent changes in disposal fees, rising costs of material, and increased service times are severely impacting our business. Reluctantly, we must pass on a portion of these rising costs in order to maintain the level of service that you expect and deserve from us. Customers should expect to see an increase of 10% per month on their upcoming billing."

This speaks clearly to a fundamental issue with our capitalist economic system: every business can raise its prices and blame it on increasing costs, but workers do not have the same option: their salaries stay low because it's the easiest cost for businesses to control to maintain profitability and shareholder return. I have to pay my trash contractor 10% more for what is, in effect, less service (this past summer, citing workforce issues, the contractor cut our weekly service from two trash and one recycling pickup to one of each). Granted, I’m still getting the same amount of trash hauled away in one pickup that used to be spread out between two, but the contractor has reduced their* operating costs while raising my rates with the excuse that their costs have gone up. Do you see the contradiction here? 

There's another aspect to this e-mail that is reflected in every other notification from every other business that is hiking its prices: couching the increase in terms of a benefit to the customer. The trash collector's email cites the need "to maintain the level of service that you expect and deserve;" a similar letter recently received from our pest control service says its very substantial price increase is necessary "in order to continue providing superior service." Neither one says anything about the benefit to the company of maintaining or increasing profitability or shareholder return.

A related issue that has received recent attention is the concept of “shrinkflation” - the reduction in size of or quantity of a product (most frequently packaged snack foods and beverages) without a concurrent reduction in its sale price, as a way to increase profit margins or, at least, hold them steady in the face of rising costs. Pay more, get less. Don't like it? Too bad.

Defenders of the capitalist market economy argue that it has provided a historically high standard of living and delivered steady and bountiful supplies of products and services, and this is true, as far as it goes. However, it has also been fed by the fuel of greed at the expense of the consumer in order to deliver ever-higher profits to businesses and returns to shareholders. Low-income families and those living on fixed incomes (such as yours truly) do not find the system especially advantageous when businesses report record profits** while simultaneously jacking up the prices they charge to customers who do not have the luxury of arbitrarily hiking their income. 

And I won't even mention rents which go up each year, lately often by double-digit percentages. 

Welcome to the world of the 21st Century market economy. Bring money. Lots of it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* I’m tempted at this point to go off on a tangent about the use of “their” as a singular collective pronoun, but that’s a rant for another day.

** The highest profit levels since the 1950s, by most estimates.

Poetry Sunday

There are three Poetry Sundays this month, and any number of Halloween-related poems to celebrate on them. Let's kick off October's poems with this eerie offering from Mary Karr ...

Field of Skulls

by Mary Karr

Stare hard enough at the fabric of night,   

and if you're predisposed to dark—let’s say   

the window you’ve picked is a black

postage stamp you spend hours at,

sleepless, drinking gin after the I Love   

Lucy reruns have gone off—stare

like your eyes have force, and behind

any night’s taut scrim will come the forms   

you expect pressing from the other side.   

For you: a field of skulls, angled jaws

and eye-sockets, a zillion scooped-out crania.   

They’re plain once you think to look.

You know such fields exist, for criminals

roam your very block, and even history lists   

monsters like Adolf and Uncle Joe

who stalk the earth’s orb, plus minor baby-eaters   

unidentified, probably in your very midst. Perhaps   

that disgruntled mail clerk from your job

has already scratched your name on a bullet—that’s him   

rustling in the azaleas. You caress the thought,

for it proves there’s no better spot for you

than here, your square-yard of chintz sofa, hearing   

the bad news piped steady from your head. The night   

is black. You stare and furious stare,

confident there are no gods out there. In this way,   

you’re blind to your own eye’s intricate machine   

and to the light it sees by, to the luck of birth and all   

your remembered loves. If the skulls are there—

let’s say they do press toward you

against night’s scrim—could they not stare

with slack jawed envy at the fine flesh

that covers your scalp, the numbered hairs,   

at the force your hands hold?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Don't look for skulls.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Where do we get these weeks, anyhow?

Russian President Vladimir Putin granted Russian citizenship to former NSA contractor Edward Snowden, who has been living in Russia to avoid prosecution for compromising US intelligence secrets; Putin also signed legislation which, on the basis of a "referendum" condemned around the world as illegal and a sham, incorporated about 18% of Ukraine into Russia; Hurricane Ian devastated large portions of Florida, then turned north to menace the Atlantic coast of the US; with hours to spare, Congress passed a "continuing resolution" to fund the government until shortly before Christmas, when the whole sorry kabuki dance will begin again; and just in time for Halloween, a snack food company has recalled packages of candy corn because the packaging failed to disclose potential allergens.

If you've been with me for very long, you know that October's Cartoon Saturdays feature our annual salute to Halloween ... each Saturday, we'll feature cartoons on the theme of terrifying, horrible things ... no, not Der Furor, GOP members of Congress, and an extremely conservative and self-righteous Supreme Court, but ghosts, goblins, and other things that go bump in the night. Or the day, whatever. First up: mummies - the original walking dead.

Where mummies go to unwind ...

There may be mummified children about, after all ...

The mummy's curse ...

The mummy's closet ...

Civic-minded mummies are always ready to help their neighbors who forgot their masks ...

Well, what else would a mummy listen to? ...

This one's dedicated to my friend Birgitta, who probably has the world's record for bizarre spellings of her name on Starbucks cups ...

Victoria's Secrypt ...

You knew this one had to show up sooner or later ...

Uh, oh ...

And that starts off our annual Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween - hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to be back next Saturday for a visit with everybody's favorite self-made man - Frankenstein.

In the meantime, come back tomorrow for the first of three Halloween-themed Poetry Sundays ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Last collection for September ... get 'em while they're hot!

What makes it worth $120 ... being round, being very squishy, or being in very good condition? ...

Such a deal for those who like to plan ahead ...

Does the wait staff wash those hands? ...

Truth in advertising ...

There's cruelty, and there's cruelty ...

He's getting more desperate than we thought ...

I think this fellow has the right intent but the wrong approach ...

They were probably registering Republican voters ...

You had one job ...

This is not quite the advertising advantage they think it is ...

And that's it for this week and this month for Great Moments in Editing and Signage! I hope we've helped you get through the month with a few hard-won laughs.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for the first Cartoon Saturday of October, and the start of our annual cartoon salute to the Halloween season ... more thoughts then. 

Bilbo

"Commitment to America"

This past week, with much fanfare, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and House Republican Conference Chair Elise Stefanik released the GOP's program for the coming midterm elections and beyond. Titled "Commitment to America," it is a one-page flyer that is long on stirring, yet vague language and short on specifics of action, and echoes the much-ballyhooed, quickly ignored, and long forgotten "Contract with America" drafted by Newt Gingrich in 1994. As historian Heather Cox Richardson noted in her "Letter from an American" on September 23rd, it reflects the thoughts of George Orwell in his famous essay "Politics and the English Language." In that essay, Orwell noted that

"The political dialects to be found in pamphlets, leading articles, manifestos, White papers and the speeches of undersecretaries do, of course, vary from party to party, but they are all alike in that one almost never finds in them a fresh, vivid, homemade turn of speech. When one watches some tired hack on the platform mechanically repeating the familiar phrases ... one often has a curious feeling that one is not watching a live human being but some kind of dummy: a feeling which suddenly becomes stronger at moments when the light catches the speaker's spectacles and turns them into blank discs which seem to have no eyes behind them."

and further,

"In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defence of the indefensible ... Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness."

Granted, the political platforms of both parties* tend to be vague, pompous, and quickly discarded upon the assumption of power. Nevertheless, the language of the GOP's "Commitment to America" soars to new levels of hypocrisy and balderdash.

The document proposes four aims: "An Economy That's Strong," "A Nation That's Safe," "A Future That's Built on Freedom," and "A Government That's Accountable." Let's look at them in some detail ...

1. "An Economy That's Strong." Everything noted in this section is already being done by the Biden Administration. One looks in vain for anything the GOP would do differently.

2. "A Nation That's Safe." While the document says the GOP will "secure the border and combat illegal immigration," it fails to note that the GOP has done nothing to address the nation's outdated immigration and asylum laws that contribute to the mess. It also notes that people must have "legal status" to get a job ... which is already the law. It "support(s) 200,000 more police officers through recruiting bonuses," but does not offer suggestions on how this would be paid for**. And it endorses "peace through strength with our allies," although the previous GOP administration did its best to undermine the NATO that is now proving to be a bulwark against Russian aggression beyond Ukraine. I don't know about you, but I feel a lot safer without Der Furor and his sycophants in the driver's seat.

3. "A Future That's Built on Freedom***." "Freedom" is a word much used by a party that seems more intent on taking freedoms away. GOP policies on education, such as they are, are utterly absurd, and essentially empower parents to decide what their children will learn based on their own political, social, and religious biases, rather than what children need to know to survive and thrive in today's world ... the simple fact that stupidly dangerous inanities like Q-Anon have a strong following argues for more and better education. The document wants to "achieve longer, healthier lives for Americans," but ignores the GOP's history of attempting to kill the Affordable Care Act while keeping the cost of health care (prescription drugs in particular) the highest in the developed world, well beyond the reach of many lower-income Americans. And the final part of this section, "Confront Big Tech and Demand Fairness," is clearly designed to punish technology firms for cracking down on hate speech and demanding even a modicum of online honesty and accuracy. Looking at the behavior of the GOP around the country, it is clear that the concept of "freedom" applies only to those citizens of the proper race, ethnicity, political orientation, and religion.

4. "A Government That's Accountable." This is particularly rich, given the frantic attempts by the GOP to evade accountability for the storming of the Capitol on January 6th, 2021, ongoing GOP attempts to undermine public confidence in the electoral process and deny the results of the 2020 election, and closing Republican ranks to protect Der Furor from accountability for the theft of sensitive government documents. Of particular stupidity and arrogance is the call to "require the White House to answer for its incompetence at home and abroad." One shudders to think of the national and international disasters we would be facing had Der Furor been reelected. 

In poker terms, the GOP is attempting to play a very poor hand as well as it can. The accomplishments of the Biden Administration so far overshadow those of Der Furor's feckless "leadership" that one has to shake one's head in disbelief at the Orwellian newspeak of the Republican "commitment."

The midterm elections coming in November will likely be the most consequential of our lifetimes. We owe it to the nation and to our children and grandchildren to decisively crush the increasingly authoritarian ... swiftly approaching fascist ... aims of the GOP.

Vote.

Have a good day. Consider which party is actually committed to all Americans ... not the favored few.

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

* Let us not forget that the GOP did not even bother to publish a platform prior to the 2020 election, simply saying that "the Republican Party has and will continue to enthusiastically support the President’s America-first agenda." Exactly what that "agenda" was was quite flexible, and depended on the political advantage of the moment and the whims of the Toddler-in-Chief.

** And we all know that the GOP insists on programs being paid for ... usually by means of tax cuts which benefit the wealthy and big business and the elimination of social programs which help the middle and lower classes.

*** In my high school civics class, we were taught that there was a difference between "freedom" (which implies acceptance of responsibility for the consequences of exercising one's freedoms) and "license" (which implies the unrestricted freedom to do what one will, without consequences). The GOP approach is closer to the latter.

Musical Sunday

There are a number of groups that live by doing covers of the work of other artists. Most of these are okay, but nothing really special, IMHO. But there are other groups that not only cover the work of others, but make it something new and different. Postmodern Jukebox is one such group, and I love their work, but a new favorite is Hildegard von Blingin', who works old songs in the new genre sometimes called bardcore - popular songs with delivery and accompaniment in medieval style. Here's her medieval rendition of the Dolly Parton classic "Jolene" ...

Thou shouldst examine the availability of bardcore songs, for thou shalt find them beguiling and worthy of thy attention. 

Enjoy thou the balance of thy weekend. Forsooth, more thoughts shall come later!

Bilbo