Monday, July 12, 2010

Flying the Unfriendly Skies - The Ultimate List

Sometimes, someone comes up with something I can't possibly improve on. And so it is with grouchy commentary on the overpriced, overcrowded misery that is modern airline travel: Time Magazine has offered this wonderful, consolidated list of the top 20 reasons to hate the airlines. The link will take you to the full list, with expanded discussion of each point, but if you're just interested in the list, here it is:

1. The Hub System (not originally designed to maximize congestion, delays, and overpricing, but that's how it worked out);

2. Nonrefundable Fares (don't get me started on this one);

3. The Demise of People Express;

4. The Disappearance of Legroom (compounded by the decrease in seat width over time, and made even worse by the ignoramus in the seat in front of you who reclines his seat into your lap);

5. Frequent-Flyer Gimmickry (you may as well forget the utility of that "benefit");

6. Lunch Is Not Served (it may never have been great, but at least it was there);

7. Speak to an Agent? Don't Press 1;

8. Pay TV;

9. Pay for Pets;

10. The Security-Line Confiscation (to be fair, this one isn't the airlines' fault...although the overpriced stores in the airports - most of which are probably owned by the airlines - are cashing in on it big-time);

11. Checked-Bag Fees (don't get me started on this one, either);

12. Who Took My Blanket?;

13. VIP for a Day;

14. All Seats Are Not Created Equal;

15. Stingy Over Soft Drinks;

16. Bye-Bye, Standby;

17. Carry-On Luggage;

18. Surcharges on Peak Travel Days (just about the ultimate scam);

19. The Cut-in-Line Charge; and the one that's coming, but no one will talk about,

20. Pay Toilets.

And they never even mentioned the part about the airline seat assignment computer subroutine that ensures Bilbo always gets to sit between two huge people who spill over into his already-inadequate seat.

Enjoy that next flight. It will never be this "cheap," "comfortable," and "convenient" again.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Mike said...

I could add 20 more reasons flying sucks.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

What...Pay toilets? HuH?

I have managed to go 36 years without ever stepping on a plane, that last reason is now the main one for it never happening.

Amanda said...

When we return to Brisbane, the boys and I are on a budget airline. Richard on the other hand was lucky enough to get cheaper tickets on the non-budget airline for the dates that he was travelling on. I'm SO JEALOUS! Especially after reading your list and being reminded of what I'll be facing.