Valentine's Day, 2012

Today is February 14th - Valentine's Day - the most obvious symbol of the worldwide, anti-male conspiracy launched by a sinister cabal of florists, restauranteurs, jewelers, candy-makers, and greeting card printers to force men everywhere to spend money to stay on the right side of their ladies.

If you're a man, you know what I mean. If you're a woman, this will go over your head because Valentine's Day is just part of the tribute you have been trained from birth to expect from your drooling love slave. Or your husband, whatever.

You can read what I wrote in this space about Valentine's Day last year here. But another year has gone by, and it's time to take another critical look at the sinister phenomenon of Valentine's Day.

This is how life goes if you're a man ...

Sometimes, it's more like this ...

Now, I'd be willing to admit that, sometimes, we men aren't all that good at planning the lovey-dovey, spur-of-the-moment things our women say they like ...

It's often hard for us to say the right thing ... and we don't always get the response we were hoping for ...

And we all know that women are very, very good at stockpiling grievances ...

Even pets are not immune to the evil lure of Valentine's Day ...

Nevertheless, in spite of the fact that we know we're being set up, we men lurch forward blindly each year into Valentine's Day. We know what's expected of us, and we perform our steps in this annual kabuki dance in the way we've been conditioned. Our ladies play us like fine violins, drawing the bow of female expectation expertly over the strings of male guilt and sexual desire. Yes, we all play our parts, because we've been conditioned to do so. And because we hope that, for once, we'll manage to do the right thing and get our reward.

Good luck.

And with that, we close out another Valentine's Day post with this classic video from Joan Jett ...

Have a good day. I hope all goes well between you and the object of your fondest desire. Or your wife or husband. You decide.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo