The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023

Not the least question in my mind this time ... the tinfoil and toilet paper crown goes to one of the most deserving (if I can use that word) ass clowns of recent memory.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the award for 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023

is presented, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets and frantic waving of silly flags, to

Representative Jim Jordan (R, OH-4)

This is Mr Jordan's fourth Ass Clown Award - he has won three previous awards; two on his own (December 2019 Right-Cheek and July 2022 Left-Cheek), plus a third (March 2023 Left-Cheek) shared with fellow Representatives James Comer and Bryan Steil. At least there's one area in which he's an overachiever.

When I wrote the first draft of this post on October 17th, Mr Jordan had just lost - by a larger than expected margin - his first vote to replace the unceremoniously booted Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of the House. On October 18th, Mr Jordan lost a second vote by an even larger margin. Early on the afternoon of October 19th, it was reported that Jordan was "pausing" his campaign and backing a tentative plan to grant a few additional powers to acting Speaker Patrick McHenry through January 3rd, while remaining the "speaker designee" and reserving the option to hold a speaker vote at any time. But less than an hour later, Mr Jordan was telling the assembled media that he was not giving up his campaign and would work to win over his opponents and press for additional votes.

Regardless of the need to get the House of Representatives back to business as soon as possible*, I can think of few things as terrifying for the nation as a thundering ignoramus like Jim Jordan elected to the position which places him second in line of succession to the Presidency**. 

There are many reasons why Jim Jordan should not be in any position of government responsibility, much less Speaker of the House, but five of the most compelling were summarized in the devastating article An Insult to America by noted historian Steven Beschloss. Let's begin with those ...

1. He was a major figure in Republican efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election ... an effort that began with his insistence months in advance - before a single vote had been cast - that the election would be stolen.

2. He has employed his "Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of Government" to attack the President and the Democratic Party, and to unconstitutionally and illegally interfere with state-level prosecutors investigating alleged crimes committed by Der Furor.

3. Although Mr Jordan has been in Congress for 16 years, he has never authored or sponsored a single piece of legislation that has become law, and has been ranked as one of the least-effective Republican legislators by the Center for Effective Lawmaking. His time has been spent on flame-throwing and peddling conspiracy theories, and he has been described as a "legislative terrorist."

4. When Mr Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State University from 1986 to 1994, he failed to speak out about the rampant sexual abuse of his wrestlers by a team physician - abuse that was an open secret on the campus. He continues to deny all knowledge of the abuse, but continues to be accused by members of the team who discount his denials.

And finally ...

5. Mr Jordan is a nasty, aggressive bully. One need only watch his antics as he berates and interrupts witnesses at hearings to see that he is more interested in throwing his weight around and generating sound bites than in accomplishing anything legislatively useful. His shouting and ranting at witnesses plays well to an aggrieved conservative base besotted by hyperconservative media, but accomplishes nothing other than to prevent forward movement on important issues***.

I would also point out that - despite Mr Jordan's vanishingly thin record of accomplishment in Congress, Der Furor presented him with the prestigious Presidential Medal of Freedom a mere five days after a howling mob egged on by Der Furor and supported by Jordan stormed the Capitol in an attempt to stop the certification of the 2020 election. The citation that accompanied the award is a masterpiece of inane political doublespeak and blatant historical revisionism.

Why the people of Ohio's fourth district continue to send this useless buffoon to Congress as their representative is beyond me. I would challenge anyone to name anything - any single thing - that Jim Jordan has accomplished in the House for his constituents and the nation. Good luck with that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2023, is Ohio Representative and House Speaker wannabe Jim Jordan - one of the most frightening things on the horizon in this Halloween season.

Have a good day and be sure to (1) register and vote, and (2) come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we focus on the walking dead ... any of whom would be more effective in Congress than Jim Jordan.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* There's no federal budget, the Middle East is in flames, Russia is still pounding on Ukraine, there's a never-ending immigration crisis, climate change is threatening our economy and infrastructure, and there are probably a lot of post offices that need to be named. 

** Obviously, a second election of Der Furor would be far worse, and would be apocalyptic for democracy and the nation, but let's worry about one thing at a time.

*** I'm reminded of an insult I once read in an article on slang expressions used in the German Bundeswehr (army): "Du bist der Bremsklotz am Siegeswagen der Nation!" - "You are the brake [shoe] on the national victory train!"