The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2024

It's always been hard to single out individuals (or discrete groups) to recognize as having risen far enough above the average level of ass-clownery to warrant the distinction of this award. This year, it being an election year, the problem is that much worse. But fear not! There are people out there so bent on demonstrating the superiority of their ass clownery that they literally beg to be cited ... and so it is this week.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with a louder-than-usual blare of trumpets and the heaving of a deeper-than-usual sigh of disgust, we present the award for

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2024

to (for the second time in as many months)

Senator JD Vance (R, OH)

It's not easy to out-crazy Der Furor, but Mr Vance has made a heroic effort with his continued harping on the story (debunked by everyone in a position to know) that Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, were stealing and eating the dogs and cats of the local residents as they continued hell-bent on ruining the city and driving out its god-fearing white "Christian" residents. The false story gained worldwide legs when Der Furor included it in his "debate" with Vice President Harris, leading to widespread ridicule from around the world.

It should be noted that the website of the city of Springfield says that approximately 12,000 to 15,000 legal Haitian immigrants live legally in Clark County, as part of a parole program that allows citizens and lawful residents to apply to have their family members from Haiti come to the United States, and that public officials from the Springfield city government up to the Governor of Ohio have said the story is utter nonsense. While acknowledging that the large influx of immigrants is a challenge for the city, they note that hysterical false stories such as those pushed by Mr Vance are singularly unhelpful.

Rather than backing away from the story, though, both Mr Vance and his boss doubled down, insisting that they were receiving reports from real people (although they provided no evidence or details), and that the local officials and the Governor were cynically ignoring the horrible problem to make him look bad.

But then, this past Sunday when CNN's Dana Bash pushed back on the lack of proof of his story of the dog-eating illegal immigrants (who are, in fact, legal), Mr Vance appeared to admit that he'd made up the story ... 

"If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, that's what I'm going to do."

It should also be noted that the "suffering" to which Mr Vance refers includes the closing of schools and other public facilities because of bomb threats.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the shameful behavior of the GOP Vice Presidential candidate in slandering an entire category of people and causing danger to the public through his ludicrous and - admittedly - false stories of behavior worse than his own make him a standout candidate for this period's tinfoil and toilet paper crown.

There's not much more to say.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we take a cartoon look at the news media. See you then.

Bilbo