I'm Right, You're Wrong, Screw You

One of the most dispiriting things about living in the year 2023 is the increasing unwillingness of people, governments, political parties, and single-issue partisans to even consider compromising with those with whom they disagree.

In the Middle East, Hamas refuses to negotiate with Israel, causing widespread devastation and death on both sides of the Gaza border, dooming generations on both sides to lives of fear and misery.

American gun zealots refuse to compromise on any measures that might reduce gun violence, viewing the Constitutionally-authorized right to "keep and bear arms" as absolute and inviolable, regardless of the cost in human lives.

Religious fundamentalists refuse to compromise on their complete and total opposition to abortion, regardless of the fact the mother may die or the child be born with defects that would prevent a normal life.

In Congress, individual Senators and Representatives refuse to compromise on their pet issues, preventing meaningful legislation on immigration reform, medical care, education, gun safety, and any number of other issues, and leaving the nation without key military and government leaders at a time of great international peril.

There was a time when we viewed the ability and willingness to compromise as a cornerstone of good government ... Kentucky Representative Henry Clay was actually known as "The Great Compromiser," and his ability to craft compromises helped to quell regionalism and balance states' rights with national interests, helping to hold the nation together in the first half of the 19th century. 

Now, however, the very word compromise is often uttered dripping with scorn, because we have reached a point when many believe that someone who does not share their beliefs is not only wrong, but deliberately and manifestly evil. The state that produced a giant like Henry Clay now gives us legislative midgets  Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, and James Comer. We have lost the ability to work with others to find common ground in an era of I'm right, you're wrong, screw you.

The opposite problem was illustrated as far back as 1967 in the song "Shades of Gray," written by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil and performed by The Monkees: 

When the world and I were young

Just yesterday

Live was such a simple game

A child could play

It was easy then to tell right from wrong

Easy then to tell weak from strong

When a man should stand and fight

Or just go along

But today there is no day or night

Today there is no dark or light

Today there is no black or white

Only shades of gray

I remember when the answers seemed so clear

We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear

It was easy then to tell truth from lies

Selling out from compromise

Who to love and who to hate

The foolish from the wise

But today there is no day or night

Today there is no dark or light

Today there is no black or white

Only shades of gray

It was easy then to know what was fair

When to keep and when to share

How much to protect your heart

And how much to care

But today there is no day or night

Today there is no dark or light

Today there is no black or white

Only shades of gray

Only shades of gray

Today, no one paints the world in shades of gray, but in the very starkest black and white that brooks no compromise. I'm right, you're wrong, screw you.

Where is Henry Clay when we need him?

Have a good day, and consider compromise ... the nation needs it and you may discover that things work better with it.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

The Ass Clown of the Month for September

Yes, Dear Readers, I know that I promised a few more vacation pictures today, but I think that after yesterday's photographic extravaganza, you could probably use a break. And I don't want to let the opportunity to designate this month's Ass Clown of the Month go by without naming a suitable dishonoree.

As always, the field of possible candidates is huge and the selection is correspondingly difficult. The amazing ass-clownery oozing out of the halls of a useless, do-nothing Congress alone provides 535 worthy* candidates, and the people who endorsed a "secret" level security clearance to the man who murdered 12 people at the Washington Navy Yard also made a very strong showing. But for sheer murderous ass-clownery in the self-appointed service of God, a group award for this month's Ass Clown of the Month goes to

Al-Shabaab

Al-Shabaab, or "The Youth," an al-Qaeda-linked militant Islamic group fighting for the creation of a fundamentalist Islamic state in Somalia, attacked a shopping mall in Nairobi, Kenya, murdering at least 68 people and injuring more than 175 after allegedly allowing Muslims to leave for safety. 

For its shining example of murderous religious bigotry and intolerance, al-Shabaab as a group and all its members as individuals are jointly designated our September Ass Clown of the Month.

Have a good day. If your religious beliefs include a belief in your right and duty to murder people of other faiths, you might want to rethink the sort of God you worship, because you're a worthless idiot on the way to finding out all about hell, rather than paradise.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* And I use the term loosely.

Unfortunate Apologies

If you've been reading this blog for very long, you know that one of my running themes is the danger of blind religious faith. You don't have to look very far for examples nowadays, from the desire of the homegrown religious right to impose its values on the country to the current situation in Afghanistan, where dozens of people have been killed and injured in riots protesting the burning of copies of the Quran at an American base there.

The wild rage displayed by those who protest the burning of copies of the Muslim holy book is compounded by the despicable behavior of those here at home who take advantage of the situation for cheap political advantage. I refer, of course, to the Republican presidential wannabes who have condemned President Obama's formal apology to Afghanistan for the inadvertent destruction of the books.

So, what would a President Gingrich (God forbid) or a President Romney have done?

For the record, I don't think President Obama should have issued the apology. In my heart and in the long view, I think it was the wrong thing to do, because it appears to put the United States in a subservient position vis-a-vis the Muslim world.

But let's look at the situation on the ground.

We have many thousands of US troops in Afghanistan, many of them serving in isolated or exposed positions, some of whom have already been murdered by people whose passions were inflamed by irresponsible religious leaders. Something needs to be done to help defuse the situation. Halfhearted calls for calm by some Islamic clerics and Afghan president Karzai don't seem to be doing the job, and so the President took the unfortunate step of issuing a formal apology in an attempt to help defuse the situation.

The sad truth is that deeply-held religious beliefs can drive otherwise reasonable people to terrifying acts of cruelty and violence. Whatever else you might say about Muslims - and much of it is very good - they take their religion very, very seriously. Many of them, particularly in extremely religious conservative lands like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, are spring-loaded to react with extreme negativity ... and often with violence ... to real or perceived slights against their faith. Such people would never believe that the burning of the Qurans was an accident or an honest mistake - to them, no matter what the evidence to the contrary, it's a deadly insult and an example of a war being waged against Islam by a West whose beliefs, customs, and culture they despise.

Writer and commentator Thomas Friedman once said that in the Middle East, people will never believe a simple and honest explanation of an act when it can be explained by a sinister conspiracy theory, and it's true. The average simple citizen of Afghanistan doesn't read the Washington Post or the New York Times, doesn't listen to CNN or Faux News or MSNBC, and doesn't subscribe to The Economist. He believes what his local imam tells him, and his local imam doesn't read, listen to, or subscribe to those information sources either ... that imam believes with all his closed and circumscribed heart that the West is hell-bent on destroying his faith, and makes sure his followers believe it, too.

So ...

While it pains me deeply to agree with people like Newt Gingrich on much of anything, I think the President's apology was wrong but, unfortunately, necessary. Will it do much good in the long run? Probably not. But ask yourself honestly: whatever your personal political beliefs are, what would you have done, given the many moving parts of this unfortunate situation?

Sadly, I think you'd have done the same as I ... and apologized, as much as it might have stuck in my craw to appear to bow to wild religious bigots.

Just something else to think about as you decide which candidate to back in November. And when you think about your own religious beliefs.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Enough About 9-11 ... Let's Talk About Billy

Unless you've been vacationing in a cave in Outer Mongolia for the last few months, you know that today is the tenth anniversary (if the word "anniversary" is appropriate for such a thing) of the attacks that murdered around 3,000 people in New York City, Washington DC, and Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Because we humans have a thing for commemorating important events, especially on round-number anniversaries, we are being buried in a wave of 9-11 memorial events that began a few weeks ago and culminates today.

Four years ago I wrote everything I needed to write about that terrible day and the day after here and here. If you're interested, go back and read it, and then reflect on what terrible effects can come from the intersection of twisted, rigidly self-righteous religious beliefs and the making of political statements.

If you want more 9-11 stuff, you can find it almost everywhere today. I choose to think about other things. Like changes to bookshelves and what they mean to us.

This article from Time Magazine notes that Ikea, the Swedish purveyor of assemble-it-yourself furniture, is redesigning its classic "Billy" bookcase line to reflect the reality that people don't store and display books any more ... they store stuff on shelves, and books on things like Kindles, E-Readers, Nooks, and any of a gazillion other properly-configured electronic devices.

This, as I've said often enough and many of you have agreed, is sad.

Bookshelves lined with books give character to a room and provide an insight into the interests and life of the person who lives there. When I visit a new friend's home, I generally look at three things first: what's on the bookshelves, what's on the CD rack (and those are disappearing, too, by the way, made obsolescent by digital music players), and what the kitchen is like - whether it's a real working kitchen or one of those "sizzling gourmet kitchens" that real estate agents tout as a symbol of affluence and a place to eat the pizza you ordered from Dominos.

Books are where we store our history and our dreams. Books are made to be held, read, savored, caressed, and even smelled. They have no battery to die, no screen to crack, and no 250-page operating manual (available only in .pdf format on the device itself) to tell you how to turn a page. Electronic readers may be the wave of the future (and I do have an iPad with three electronic reading programs on it - Overdrive, iBooks, and Kindle), but they will never replace the look, feel, and wonder of a real ink-and-paper book.

And if the bookshelves go away, too, we also lose something. We lose the ability to skim the shelves of accumulated books, finding new things to read and getting reacquainted with old friends. We lose the magic and the sense of peace that comes from curling up under a quilt on a cold and rainy night with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. As autumn arrives and winter waits in the wings, that becomes something of more than academic interest.

The world is moving on. Many things changed (mainly for the worse) on 9-11, and change continues to buffet us as we move into a future shaped by illusions of security and a tidal wave of technology that threatens to take away one of our most cherished activities - the ability to read a real book.

Not to mention having a real library in our own home.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

P.S. - One parting shot about 9-11: I am considerably less worried about what terrorists can do to us than I am about what we are doing to ourselves with the useless and despicable political chicanery going on in Disneyland-on-the-Potomac. Our elected and appointed ass clowns are hurting our future in ways al Qaeda never could. Think about it.

B.

Seventy-Two Virgins

One of the more bizarre beliefs of those who worship the more extreme versions of a particular religion is that if they are "martyred" in the service of their beliefs, they will be rewarded in paradise with the devoted attention of seventy-two virgins. Or seventy-two golden raisins, whatever*. Not quite so clear to me is how this is of any benefit to women who are "martyred" in the service of their beliefs ... do they get seventy-two beefcakes, or seventy-two pieces of some other fruit?

Well, some people will take just about anything on faith. Considering that, I thought I'd share with you today this wonderful piece by Steve Martin from 2007 - Seventy-Two Virgins. I think my favorites are Numbers 11 and 72. Special thanks to my old (by which I mean beautiful, cherished and long-standing, not old, of course) friend Kerrie for pointing this out to me.

That's all for now ... I'm still celebrating.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Considering Osama bin Laden's burial at sea, is he getting seventy-two sturgeons?

The Death of Osama bin Laden

Good riddance, ass clown. Enjoy hell.

That was a particularly un-Christian and uncivil comment, but it comes from the heart. Justice has finally caught up to this evil bastard, proudly responsible for the cold-blooded murder of nearly 3,000 people on 9/11 (nearly including yours truly, who had the good fortune to work on the opposite side of the Pentagon from where American Airlines flight 77 slammed into the building).

It would be nice to think that eliminating this vile cockroach will stop terrorism, but it won't. There are plenty of people out there who think bin Laden is a hero and a "good Muslim," and they'll mourn his demise rather than celebrating it. Some of those will certainly believe that his death needs to be avenged, and will try to kill more innocent people in honor of their idol. And, of course, bin Laden's deputy, that foul snake Ayman al Zawahiri, is still out there.

But, one hopes, not for long.

In his classic poem, John Donne wrote,

"Any man's death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind,

Therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee."

I suppose I should feel "diminished," but on this Monday in May, almost ten years after 9/11, I just feel glad. The bells aren't tolling, but ringing in celebration.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Justifying the Unthinkable

You, Dear Readers, know that I have a particularly jaundiced view of religious belief. I have written often enough in this space about the dangers of blind faith and the horror that can be unleashed when religious belief turns to violence against The Other, The Infidel, or whatever we call those who believe in a God other than our own.

There's a very interesting discussion on CNN that grows out of a bizarre kidnapping case here in the United States: for those of you unfamiliar with it, a 14-year old girl was kidnapped in the night from her home and forced to be the "bride" and sexual slave of a self-proclaimed "prophet" who claimed his bed was an altar. She was later rescued and the "prophet" arrested, and the man is now on trial for the crime.

But is it a crime?

Lawyers for Brian David Mitchell, the accused kidnapper, say in his defense that his bizarre religious beliefs were delusions, and that he is mentally ill and, therefore, not responsible for his actions - not guilty by reason of insanity.

When does intense, blind religious faith turn from worship of God to delusion to murderous criminality? It's no small issue in a world where young men and women strap explosives to themselves and believe they will spend eternity in paradise for killing infidels, and where a woman can face death by stoning for the "crime" of adultery. Blind religious faith gave us the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, 9/11, and the horrific massacre in Mumbai.

Where is the line between extreme religious faith and criminal insanity?

I have faith in some things. I have faith that the sun will rise this morning. I have faith in the love of my wife, children, and grandchildren. I have faith that Congress will continue to be a worthless swamp of partisan bickering.

Unfortunately, I also have faith that men will continue to be motivated by religious fervor to do terrible things. As Voltaire once observed, "Men will continue to commit atrocities so long as they believe in absurdities."

Does your faith comfort you and bring you closer to others, or does it inspire you to bend others to your will, and murder or enslave them if they resist?

It's a serious question, and it gets more serious by the day.

Think about it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Solution

Flying is a pain in the neck (and other body parts), we all know that. It used to be an adventure, if not actually fun, but that was before the airlines nickeled and dimed you to death, flights were packed like sardines, and you had to go through enough layers of security that you felt like you were entitled to a conjugal visit at the end.

And much of it is because of people who believe their deity or their political outlook - or both - gives them the right and duty to blow you up. Because of these loons, we now all have to suffer inconveniences and ignominies large and small just to be able to fly from point A to point B. New security technologies are always being introduced, and the homicidal morons are always working to figure out ways around them.

The latest thing is the whole-body scanner that, like an x-ray, allows security personnel to literally see beneath your clothes. Predictably, civil libertarians and others object to this as an unwarranted invasion of privacy, although I personally consider it being preferable to being blown up by some idiot looking for his 72 dark-eyed virgins.

All that aside, how do we keep the bad guys with their exploding shoes and underwear off our airplanes so that we can travel to visit our grandchildren and conduct our business with fear only of bankruptcy, and not of our lives?

As it happens, my friend Bob has sent me a wonderful idea: a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may be carrying.

It would be a win-win for everyone - no whiny B.S. about racial profiling, no long and expensive trials, and the only person killed would be the one who wanted to die in the first place. Justice would be quick and swift. Case closed!

This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion, followed shortly by an announcement over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers -- a seat is now available on flight number..."

I'm forwarding this to the TSA. It makes more sense than making little old ladies take off their shoes and hapless business travelers x-ray their laptops. And it gives us one less idiot to worry about.

Thanks, Bob! I hope your idea catches on.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Piece of Lint

Many years ago I saw a skit performed on television that was a blend of slapstick comedy and social-political satire. I don't recall the two performers who staged it, but I clearly remember the skit itself, which was titled, "The Piece of Lint, or, How Wars Start."

The skit unfolded this way: a well-dressed gentleman strolling through the park sits down on a bench next to a fairly seedy-looking bum, who he eyes with quiet disdain. The gentleman then checks out the condition of his natty suit, and discovers a small piece of lint, which he carefully picks off with two fingers and tosses to the side, where it lands on the bum. The bum looks incredulously at the gentleman and at the piece of lint which is now on his tattered shirt, and then he plucks it up and places it gently back on the gentleman's suit. The gentleman is offended by this, and again plucks up the piece of lint and drops it back on the bum. This exchange continues and escalates until the two men are hitting each other and rolling in the dirt, each trying to drop the piece of offending lint on the other. In the end, the gentleman's suit is a shredded, dirty ruin and both men are lying exhausted on the ground ... whereupon the gentleman, with his last bit of energy, finds the piece of lint and drops it onto the unconscious bum lying beside him.

I hadn't thought about this skit in years, but I was reminded of it when I read this article by Christopher Hitchens in Slate magazine: The Narcissism of the Small Difference.

This is a fascinating short article that asks an important question: how is it that people in ethnic, religious, and national conflicts identify the "other" that they're supposed to hate, and why are the differences that supposedly mark them such a trigger for hatred and violence? In Northern Ireland, Catholics and Protestants historically hate each other...but if a Catholic and a Protestant stand next to each other when they're in, say Scotland, how can you tell them apart? Sunni and Shi'a Muslims each profess to have the absolute true religion, yet we have seen in Iraq and elsewhere that they can massacre each other with the most appalling savagery over the most arcane and trivial issues of their faith - and if Abdul and Omar stand next to each other, how do you know which is religiously which? Tutsis and Hutus in Rwanda, Hindus and Muslims in India and Pakistan, Uzbeks and Kyrgyz in Kyrgyzstan, Greeks and Turks in Cyprus, Tamils and Sinhalese in Sri Lanka ... what are the differences that allow them to tell each other apart and trigger the hatred that cascades down the years, destroying communities and causing horror and misery long after the original differences may have been forgotten?

This is an extremely interesting article that is well worth your time to read and ponder. We can make fun of the differences, as Tom Lehrer did ...



But the underlying problem is real and terrifying.

Yesterday, we celebrated the Fourth of July, on which Americans celebrate their independence from Great Britain and the founding of the world's oldest functioning democracy. One of the things that makes the United States unique in the world is that it is a truly multi-ethnic, multi-religious nation in which everyone lives together in relative peace and harmony. Not perfect, of course, but on the whole, much better than just about anyplace else you could name. We have learned, in the main, to ignore The Narcissism of the Small Difference. The average American doesn't live every day in fear and suspicion of his neighbors, wondering whether they are going to explode in ethnic and religious violence over some perceived slight.

We have no shortage of cynical politicians and religious leaders eager to exploit racial, religious, and ethnic differences for their own cheap advantage, but by and large most Americans are - however unconsciously - smart enough to recognize their moral and intellectual bankruptcy and tune them out. I can only hope that the current of brotherhood and tolerance that has made this country the envy of the world continues to work against those who would exploit the small differences.

Because our children and grandchildren deserve better.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Mosque at Ground Zero

Consider for a moment this bit of alternative history...

Nineteen young American Christians plot to kill Muslims. They do this because their radical parish priests tell them the Bible demands it and they will be rewarded in heaven for their act. The men hijack airliners and crash them into the Grand Mosque in Mecca, killing more than 3,000 people. Saudis, horrified at this act, decide that a good way to help ease tensions between the Muslim world and everyone else would be to erect a Christian church near the hole where the Grand Mosque used to be.

Okay, you can stop laughing now.

As you are no doubt aware (and if you're not, you should be), the American Society for Muslim Advancement and the Cordoba Initiative have obtained local endorsement for a controversial plan to build a 13-story Islamic community center including a mosque, performing art center, gym, swimming pool and other public spaces not far from the site of Ground Zero. It is not being referred to as an "Islamic" center, but the prominent inclusion of a mosque leaves little doubt as to what it is.

As I wrote in the introduction to yesterday's Cartoon Saturday post, I think this is an appallingly bad and grossly insensitive idea. And I think it's being supported by well-meaning people who have not thought through the implications of what it is they are doing.

The United States is a nation founded on the ideal of religious freedom...that every person has the right to worship God (or not) according to the dictates of his own conscience. The first amendment to the Constitution begins with these words: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." The founders had seen what evils could arise when religious beliefs were abused by kings and princes, and they wanted none of it in the new nation they were founding.

Islam is completely alien to this concept of religious liberty. You are a Muslim, or you are an infidel. It is the duty of every Muslim to spread the faith, by force if necessary. If you are a Christian living in a Muslim-ruled land, you can exist (although not worship openly) by paying a tax to the religious authorities. Or you can be killed if you refuse to convert to Islam. The Islamic faith sees no division between the power of the mosque and the power of the state...there is no equivalent to Jesus' injunction in Mark 12:17 to "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." This is why the billions of dollars we pay for Saudi Arabian oil each year help to ensure that Saudi religious textbooks - including those shipped to this country for use in Saudi-funded Islamic schools - vilify Christians and Jews. You cannot build a church or synagogue in Saudi Arabia, nor can you openly worship there in any faith other than Islam. All of this goes back to the devil's bargain made between the al-Saud family and the forces of the brutally intolerant Wahhabi sect many years ago...and it's why the Saudi government will never be able to crack down on the worst excesses of Islamic radicals. They depend on them.

Islamic believers and apologists stress that Islam is a religion of peace and justice. What they neglect to mention is that this peace and justice applies to Muslims...not necessarily to infidels who worship according to other belief systems.

Make no mistake: I have no problem with anyone who wishes to be a Muslim or hold Islamic beliefs. But I believe it is important to note that Muslims believe the Koran is the final, unchangeable, revealed word of God...that every single word is definitive and must be accepted. There is no room for interpretation. There are most certainly some very bloodthirsty parts of the Bible, particularly in the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy...but there aren't priests and ministers telling impressionable young people today to go out and burn, stone, or kill sinners. On the other hand, there are a considerable number of firebrand Muslim clerics who encourage their congregations to murder those who are of other faiths...or even those who are insufficiently Islamic (consider the terrible violence between Shia and Sunni Muslims in Iraq).

The gulf of hatred and mistrust between Muslims and other religions will not be bridged by building "community centers" near the sites of atrocities committed by Muslims. It will not be bridged by Muslim apologists who tell us that they are good people and the rest of us just need to be more understanding and accommodating.

It will be bridged when Muslims take a hard look at the tenets of their faith and recognize that they are no longer living in sixth century Arabia. When Muslims of good will (and I don't doubt that there are some) start rising up and taking action against the uncompromising religious bigots who murder and oppress in the name of their faith, I'll start taking them seriously. Until then, I believe that even thinking about putting a mosque anywhere near Ground Zero is a slap in the face of those who were murdered by Islamic extremists on September 11, 2001.

I'm sick to death of being told that it's my job to understand and accept Muslims. If they want to live in the United States and practice their faith, fine. But I believe it's their job to understand and accommodate themselves to the rest of the world.

Not that it will ever happen.

No mosque at Ground Zero. Ever. Period.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Something Else to Worry About...

At one time, back in the distant era between the Wright Brothers and, say, about 1955, airline travel was fun. Airlines pampered you, your luggage arrived when you did (and in one piece), you didn't need to be x-rayed, probed, and patted down, and your belongings pawed through before you could get onto an airplane.

But that was then, and this is now.

The 70's gave us fanatics advancing their causes through airline hijackings. Then came bombs in suitcases, and then bombs in carry-on bags, then bombs in shoes, and - most recently - bombs in underwear. You might have thought things couldn't get any worse.

You were wrong.

I direct your attention to this article from Faux News Online: Terrorists Could Use Explosives in Breast Implants to Crash Planes, Experts Warn.

Yes, exploding underwear and shoes weren't enough for those seeking to meet their 72 virgins in some imagined paradise...now we have to worry about exploding boobs. "Blonde bombshell" has taken on a whole new meaning.

According to British intelligence sources, radical doctors - some of them trained at leading Western teaching hospitals - have developed a way to surgically insert exploding breast implants into prospective female suicide bombers, using the techniques developed for ordinary breast augmentation. The implants are said to be "virtually impossible to detect by the usual airport scanning machines." And if that weren't enough, the same intelligence sources report that extremists are also inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male bombers.

This is not so far-fetched, as someone not too long ago tried to blow up a Saudi prince by means of explosives stuffed into his ... um ... rectal orifice.

I guess it's not enough just to be a religiously-bigoted ass ... you now have to have an explosive, religiously-bigoted ass.

Well, I guess there's not much we can do about this new threat except try to make the most of it. As soon as TSA starts hiring breast inspectors, I'm quitting my job and getting in line. If nothing else, I can do my patriotic part to fight this threat by carefully eyeballing the generous bosom of every lady who appears to have high-yield breasts.

It's the least I can do. But someone else can do the male buttock checks. That's why TSA has female officers, after all.

Have a good day. Watch out for exploding breasts.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

I Hope It's True...

There appears to be some confusion as to whether or not Adam Gadahn has been arrested.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't take notice of such an issue. After all, I live in Washington, DC, where we don't notice arrests unless the perp is a Member of Congress or higher. Heck, getting arrested is practically a required element of your resume if you want to work for the DC city government. Arrests aren't news.

Except in the case of a cowardly snake like Adam Gadahn, also known as "Azzam the American." This person, of course, is the California-born individual who is the English-speaking mouthpiece for al Qaeda, glorifying murderers as heroes and urging Muslims everywhere to kill Americans. He's the worthless bastard that recently posted a video praising Maj Nidal Hasan for murdering 13 fellow soldiers at Fort Hood, Texas, last November, crowing that Nidal had "lit a path" for other Muslim servicemembers to follow. He went on to say "I believe that defiant Brother Nidal is the ideal role model for every repentant Muslim in the armies of the unbelievers and apostate regimes."

I hope that reports of his arrest are correct, although I have to admit I'd feel better if he were shot trying to escape. This miserable swine has caused indescribable damage to his country and has encouraged murder and mayhem in the service of twisted religious bigotry. The blood on his hands can never be washed away.

The God that a despicable traitor and bigot like Adam Gadahn claims to serve is certainly preparing a place for him in the hottest depths of hell. I hope he gets to enjoy the hospitality at the earliest possible date.

I hate to start off a new week with a rant on a topic like this, but I can't help it. It's bad enough that the world suffers from the curse of religious bigotry and intolerance. It's bad enough that so-called "holy men" convince morons that they will be serviced by dark-eyed virgins in paradise if they kill their fellow human beings. It's worse when the evil bastard who fronts for this horrendous barbarity is ... or was ... one of our own. There is no excuse - in any language - for this treachery.

Press on, Azzam the American. God is waiting with your reward ... and it has nothing to do with virgins.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Danger of Political Correctness

Former Secretary of the Army Togo West and retired Navy Admiral Vernon Clark recently published an 86-page report documenting their investigation into the murder of 13 people at Fort Hood, Texas, earlier this year. You'll probably recall the incident, in which an Army doctor named Nidal Hassan opened fire on a group of other medical personnel preparing to deploy to Iraq and Afghanistan.

That incident has been exhaustively investigated and reported in the press, and the West-Clark report (which you can read or download here) represents the Army's official investigation and resulting recommendations.

Oddly enough, though, the report makes no mention - at all - of the role played by Mr Hasan's religious beliefs as a contributing factor, nor does it mention Mr Hasan by name.

It just wouldn't do to offend Muslims, you see.

It's quite all right for Muslims, in the name of their religion, to forbid others to worship according to other faiths. It's all right for Muslims to riot and kill and burn churches in response to real or perceived "insults" to their religion. It's all right for Muslims to go to court to forbid Christians to even use the word "allah" as a reference to God, and to riot when the legal decision goes against them. But somehow, it's not all right to point out the role of radical fundamentalist Islam in the mass murder of American citizens.

When the adherents of a religion are so insecure in their faith that they must resort to violence to defend it, and to forbid others to worship God in any other way, something's wrong with that religion. But when a nation which prides itself on its freedoms of speech and religion turns a blind eye to the abuse of those freedoms in the name of political correctness, something's even more wrong.

It's clear that not all of the world's Muslims are murderous fanatics. But we must not lose sight of the fact that their faith and traditions seem uniquely able to justify and encourage the most horrible of crimes. Ignoring this in the pursuit of some ill-considered political correctness keeps Muslims from looking inward to see what's wrong with their faith, and keeps the rest of the world from taking the steps necessary to protect itself.

Mr West and Admiral Clark have compiled a flawed report. It's utterly useless because it ignores the fundamental issue that drove Malik Hasan to murder the people he, as a doctor, was sworn to protect and care for - a religion that not only permits, but encourages and glorifies the oppression and murder of those who worship differently.

I detested political correctness before, but in most cases it's just a stupid annoyance. In this case, it's criminal ignorance that puts us all at risk.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Execution of John Allen Muhammad

Last night at 9:00, convicted murderer John Allen Muhammad was executed here in Virginia. It's about time.

Those of you who don't live in this area may have a difficult time imagining the level of terror Muhammad and his convicted partner caused here with their three-week spree of random murders of innocent people across the DC-Maryland-Northern Virginia area back in 2002. One person was shot dead at a store just across the parking lot from a fabric store Agnes visits all the time. For three weeks, we parked as close to our destinations as possible, crossed open spaces in a running crouch, and eyed parked cars and dark areas with frightened suspicion.

Mr Muhammad never admitted his guilt, despite mountains of evidence. He showed no remorse for the pain and suffering he and his partner caused. He was a walking advertisement for the death penalty.

As his date with the executioner approached, there were calls for forgiveness and for the mercy he didn't show to his ten victims. Apologists cried that his children would be left without a father, but didn't seem to care about the fatherless and motherless children the innocent victims of his cold-blooded rampage left behind.

The death penalty is the most final and terrible punishment we can inflict on someone. It should never be applied lightly. But in this case, it was justified. Mr Muhammad's accomplice is serving a life term in prison because he was a juvenile at the time of the murders; otherwise, he would have joined Muhammad in the death chamber. I hope he uses the rest of his time to think about the welcoming committee that awaits him in Hell.

Sorry if I sound a little bloodthirsty this morning, but I lived through the sniper killings and worried every day about whether my family was safe.

So long, John Allen Muhammad. Hope it's hot enough for you down there.

Have a good day. I'll my usual grouchy self again tomorrow.

Bilbo

Murder at Fort Hood

An American soldier of Jordanian descent, described as "a devout Muslim," has murdered 12 fellow soldiers and injured 31 at Fort Hood in Texas.

As you know, I take a very dim view of the power of religion to inspire (if I can use that word in this context) people to commit the most horrific of crimes. Although the Council on American-Islamic Relations quickly condemned the attack as "cowardly" and noted that "No religious or political ideology could ever justify or excuse such wanton and indiscriminate violence," one has to accept the fact that Islam is a religion which also puts the absolute and all-consuming worship of God above any considerations of life or love of fellow man. I am afraid that we will continue to see this cycle of foul murder and pious condemnation as long as Muslims continue to believe in a faith which demonizes the "infidel" and condones murder and suicide in the service of God as justified and holy "martyrdom."

This is a sad day for America and for people of love and good will everywhere.

Have a good day. Remember the families of the dead at Fort Hood in your prayers. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Cost of Intelligence, Air Travel, and Health Care

Yesterday Dennis Blair, the Director of National Intelligence, disclosed that United States intelligence operations worldwide over the past year employed some 200,000 people and cost $75 billion.

Wow.

And that's just the government.

There is also a very successful commercial intelligence and forecasting firm called STRATFOR which produces some very interesting and thought-provoking analysis. Each week I receive a copy of their free newsletter (a teaser to get me - so far unsuccessfully - to subscribe to their rather expensive services), and find it fascinating. Here is a link to this week's topic, titled "Convergence: The Challenge of Aviation Security."

Having just returned from our recent trip to Colorado Springs, I'm still irked over the necessary, but maddening kabuki dance of airport security checks. But if you read the STRATFOR article, you'll learn that the latest threat to aviation security isn't hijackings or improvised bombs or shoe bombs, it's internal bombs.

The article reports on an assassination attempt against Saudi Arabian Prince Mohammed bin Nayef by a man posing as a repentant terrorist who got close to the prince, then used a cell phone to detonate a pound of explosives stuffed in his rectum. Think of it as a terminal fart.

Having described the grisly, if unsuccessful attempt to kill the prince, the article goes on to consider how it might be possible to protect against bombs actually stuffed into a body cavity, rather than carried in luggage or worn under one's clothing. I've gotten used to the baggage searches and the metal detectors and the pat-downs at the airport, but I'm not sure I'm ready to have a bomb dog sniffing my crotch each time I want to fly.

There is, nevertheless, a potential up-side to this situation, as pointed out by my good friend the Eminience Griese, who posts comments to this blog using his spiffy and original nickname, "Anonymous." He noted in an e-mail exchange yesterday that we might enjoy some potential savings in health care costs by combining airport security screening with prostate exams. Think of it ... we could cut back on the number of people the health care industry employs to examine our backsides, and ensure double use of all those rubber gloves the TSA folks at the airport go through each day. The potential savings are enormous.

Of course, not everyone would accept the wisdom of this plan. It clearly plays to the worst fears of the Hysterical Right over overly-intrusive government programs, and airline seats are uncomfortable enough already, without having to cope with the aftermath of a cavity search. But times are hard, and everything is on the table. So to speak.

As for me, if this comes to pass, I'm going back to riding Greyhound.

And as for the terrorist mastermind who dreamed up this latest tactic, just take your bomb and shove it up your ... uh ... never mind.

Have a good day. Cartoon Saturday is coming...

Bilbo

DUMBCON 1, Revisited in Scotland

Most of you will recall that, back on July 24th, I proposed the establishment of a national Stupidity Condition - the DUMBCON - based on the military concept of Defense Conditions, Readiness Conditions, Threat Conditions, Force Protection Conditions, etc, etc, etc. You may want to take a moment to review the concept at the original post before reading on. Go ahead, I'll wait.

You don't have to be Albert Einstein to know that the world is getting stupider by the day. The outrageous hogwash and balderdash trumpeted every day by the extreme right, the extreme left, and the unthinking center make one wonder if brain evolution is working in reverse. Most days I don't know why I thought we needed a DUMBCON structure with a level less than 1.

But we really nailed the need for something beyond DUMBCON 1 yesterday, when Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill decided to release Abdel Basset Ali al-Megrahi, the only person convicted and sentenced to prison for the bombing of PanAm flight 103 in which 270 people were brutally murdered over and in the Scottish town of Lockerbie.

Mr MacAskill described his action as an act of mercy for al-Megrahi, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. In defending his widely-unpopular decision, he said that "humanity was a defining characteristic of the Scottish people and that 'our belief dictates that justice be served but mercy be shown.'" He went on to say that al-Megrahi "...did not show his victims any comfort or compassion. They were not allowed to return to the bosom of their families to see out their lives, let alone their dying days. No compassion was shown by him to them. But that alone is not a reason for us to deny compassion to him and his family in his final days."

Well, I disagree.

Mercy is indeed a defining characteristic of a moral and compassionate society. But I would argue that this unfortunate and misguided action has not been viewed as merciful in Libya (where this foul, unrepentant mass murderer was welcomed as a hero) and across the Middle East, where moral and compassionate societies are in short supply. The quality of mercy, to misquote Shakespeare, is strained far beyond the breaking point in cultures where it is viewed not as compassion, but as decadent weakness in the face of strength.

It is said that Mr al-Megrahi has only three months to live. This may be so. But he should have spent those last months of his life in prison, knowing that 270 murdered souls are waiting to cheer his arrival in Hell - a far more appropriate welcome than he received from fools in Libya.

The Scottish Ministry of Justice has achieved a DUMBCON rating of 0.5 for this dreadful miscarriage of justice. Its long-term cost in terms of heartening those who would commit such terrible crimes can only be imagined.

Have a good day. Tomorrow is Cartoon Saturday...I think we'll all need it.

Bilbo

Navy 4, Pirates 0

Before I start on this morning's post, I should note that the counter on my Blogspot home page tells me that yesterday was my 974th post. That would make this my 975th post. And that means, of course, that - barring unforeseen circumstances - sometime in the next month I should hit my one thousandth post.

Hmmm...

I didn't realize even I could pontificate that much.

Any suggestions for a topic for the approaching 1,000th post? Suitable for a PG-rated blog, of course (yes, Mike and Fiona, I'm talking to you!).

Anyhow...

Yesterday, after a four-day standoff, Navy SEALs on board a warship reduced the pirate population of the waters off Somalia by four, shooting three, capturing one, and rescuing unharmed the American ship's captain the pirates had held hostage. Navy 4, pirates 0.

Unless, of course, you count all the other ships pirates have seized and hostages they still hold.

I have mixed feelings about the whole piracy thing. On the one hand, I think I can understand the poverty and desperation that supposedly drives people of that region to commit acts of piracy. On the other hand, it doesn't appear that the many millions of dollars of ransoms paid by shipping lines and their insurance companies have turned into food for starving Somalis, housing to replace their shantytowns, medical care for their children, and so on. Instead, the money is creating an economic boom in coastal pirate havens as pirate leaders build huge mansions for themselves and stock up on guns and other supplies to seize more ships and extort still more money. In the Somali heartland, away from the pirate dens, life expectancy continues to be 46 years, a quarter of all children die before age 5, and radical Islamists enforce their paradise on earth with lashings and stonings for accused criminals (i.e., women, men without beards, etc).

The heroic pirates the coastal Somalis love, and whom women flock from the impoverished interior to marry, are conniving opportunists who traffic in violence and theft. They aren't Robin Hoods, they're just hoods. And the problem won't go away until two things happen:

1. Companies stop paying ransoms; and,

2. The various navies stop cruising majestically around the waters off Somalia turning fuel into wakes, and start actually sinking a few pirate ships instead of just watching and chasing them.

This is a very hard problem. The area to be policed is enormous, the pirates are hard to catch in the act, and most Western nations tend to think in the legalistic terms of arresting and prosecuting pirates, rather than just turning them into chum for the nourishment of the local shark population, and their ships into small, smoldering chunks.

The pirates are now claiming they'll "retaliate" for the deaths of the scumbags that the Navy killed yesterday. No doubt they'll try, and no doubt they'll succeed, at least in part. But if we don't start letting them know that there are consequences ... that we're not going to just roll over and pay them to keep doing what they want ... innocent mariners, and not worthless pirates, will continue to suffer.

Here's what President Bilbo would do:

1. Sail a few warships into the coastal towns that harbor pirates and hail them as heroes. Shell every new mansion built by a pirate, destroy the harbor facilities, and sink every local ship.

2. Offer to stop when they do.

3. Repeat step 1 until the pirates realize we can and will remorselessly hurt them where they live, instead of just writing checks.

Good thing I'm not the President. But that's my advice.

At one time, captured pirates were hung, and their bodies were dipped in tar and hung at the entrances to harbors as a warning to others. Sometimes, heads were displayed on pikes at strategic locations.

Those were the good old days.

It's time to stop thinking of pirates as colorful characters with tricorn hats, earrings, peg legs, and squawking parrots on their shoulders as they shout "AARRGG, matey!" It's time to start treating them like the greedy, vicious criminals they are.

That's a pretty expensive Navy we're paying for, after all. And they need target practice to stay sharp.

Have a good day. More thoughts later.

Bilbo

P.S. - later this morning I'll be flying out on a business trip for the next few days. I won't have access to the Internet, so my next post won't be until Wednesday evening or Thursday morning. Don't give up - I'll be back.

B.

Laughing at the Terrorists

The Outlook section of yesterday's Washington Post had a very interesting article in its recurring section titled "What's the Big Idea?" In yesterday's article, the big idea was a unique antiterrorism tactic: Want to Fight Terrorists? Try Mocking Them.

The article was based on a longer essay from the April issue of the magazine Prospect titled License to Kill. In this essay, the authors hypothesized that violent extremism often appeals to young Muslims because it appears to offer "adventure, excitement, and notoriety," in contrast to their lives which are frequently ones of poverty, oppression, and sexual repression (the 72 virgins waiting to service them in paradise if they're killed in their adventure are just icing on the cake). The authors cite research which shows that most members of Islamic terrorist cells "...tend to be young men with little religious training beyond 'a few cut-and-paste lines' of jihadi literature."

The suggestion? Attack the mystique of glorious jihad, and show that the life of the Islamic extremist is more like that of the petty thug than the heroic secret agent. The authors contend that if the extremists are mocked and belittled, their appeal will diminish.

This may not be as silly as it may sound.

In a 2006 article titled Ridicule as a Weapon, Professor J. Michael Waller of the Institute of World Politics suggested that "...we inadvertently aid our enemies and potential enemies by taking them too seriously," and wondered whether "...our relentless portrayal of individuals, ideologies, movements and philosophies as mortal dangers to America enhance the enemies’ status and prestige." His suggestion: use ridicule as a weapon. He contends that ridicule

- raises morale at home;
- strips the enemy/adversary of his mystique and prestige;
- erodes the enemy’s claim to justice;
- eliminates the enemy’s image of invincibility; and,
- literally, can be a fate worse than death.

We always tend to demonize our enemies, but this runs the risk of making them seem larger and more fearsome than they are. During World War II, Nazi Germany was a truly existential threat to the nations of Europe and to the United States, and the German army seemed utterly invincible for the first few years of the war. But one strategy used against the Nazis was ridicule directed against Adolf Hitler. Hitler was mocked in cartoons that exaggerated his toothbrush mustache and bombastic rhetoric. Comic entertainer Spike Jones lustily sang his hit song "Der Fuehrer's Face," in which the Nazis' "heil!" salute was punctuated with loud raspberries, and Nazi racial and political theories were lampooned. The result was a boost in allied morale at a time when it was sorely needed.

Would ridiculing Islamic terrorists actually work? It might, but it would have to be carefully planned and executed. Care would have to be taken not to mock essential Islamic religious beliefs, but those which are twisted and exaggerated to offer a religious justification of murder. Good targets might be the theological two-step that attempts to show that suicide bombers are not really committing suicide, but carrying out "martyrdom operations," or the promise that those killed in violent jihad will be served in paradise by dark-eyed virgins (what's offered to the women who are conned into being suicide bombers, after all?).

Terrorism justified by religious beliefs is despicable, and the alleged "holy men" who encourage it surely have a special place awaiting them in hell. But if we can use weapons other than guns and missiles against them...if we can make the impressionable young men and women who are swept up in the mystique of violent jihad question their motivation...perhaps we can slowly strip away the appeal of violence.

It's worth a try.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

A Woman's Place

The aftershocks of the devastating earthquake in China have evidently spread to the desolate hinterlands of the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, turning over a large rock to once again expose that paragon of brotherly love and peace, Ayman al-Zawahiri.

The number two snake of al Qaeda has been taking questions from his adoring fans and answering them on the internet, and according to this article from CNN online, he has responded to a question about women in al Qaeda, thundering from on high his pronouncement of the role of women in his group: stay home, have babies, and take care of the swine who go forth to murder the innocent. Well, that's not quite what he said; I sort of used a bit of expressional license on the last part, but that's his real message.

The amazing part is that women in the radical Islamic world are clamoring for the right for equality: they want to become ruthless murderers just like the men. In Iraq, women have either carried out or attempted at least 20 suicide bombings since 2003.

Gender equality is a wonderful thing.

Not a day goes by that I don't shake my head in complete amazement at the actions of those who claim their religion is one of peace, and yet endorse the most horrific acts of violence against those who don't share their beliefs. Not a week goes by without some newspaper account of something that has resulted in "Muslim outrage."

Well, I'm outraged, too. I'm outraged by those who believe their beliefs give them the right and duty to kill me. I'm outraged by those - regardless of belief - whose rigid intolerance for any other form of religious belief leads them to commit terrible acts in the name of God. I'm outraged by those who mine the Koran for exhortations to murder and intolerance. Renaissance dramatist and poet Ben Johnson once said, "There are some men born only to suck out the poison of books." Mr Johnson died in 1637, but his words ring true today.

I just wish those who suck the poison from the Koran or the Bible or whatever "holy" book they choose would kill only themselves. It would make the world a much better place.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo