After the Third Debate

Unless you've spent the last few weeks in a cave in Outer Mongolia*, you know that last night was the third and final** "presidential debate" between Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Hillary Clinton. I put the term "presidential debate" in quotes because it was not particularly presidential, although it was somewhat closer to a debate in the sense that word is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary***.

A debate is generally considered to be a lively, if gentlemanly^† affair in which contending ideas are bounced against each other with a goal of determining which side has best supported its positions (won, as it were). There was more of an exchange of ideas this time, although it was generally couched in terms of attacks and salvos of often-questionable statistics. There was more emphasis on policies, although not as much as I would have liked.

Both candidates dodged uncomfortable questions.

Moderator Chris Wallace of Fox News did a tremendous job of maintaining order and keeping the candidates on topic ... as much as anyone could. It was the finest example of professional and non-partisan moderation I think I've ever seen.

But here's the biggest takeaway for me: Donald Trump will not commit to accepting the results of the election. He continues to whine - against all current and historical evidence, and without providing the least amount of evidence of his own - that everything is "rigged" against him, and that enormous levels of voter fraud will "steal" the election. Mr Trump is undermining the very essence of American democracy - the peaceful and orderly transition of power as a result of popular election. Appalled is not too strong a word to apply to my feelings.

If Secretary Clinton is a flawed candidate - and I believe she is - the flaws of Mr Trump are so huge and manifest as to underscore his complete unsuitability for the presidency.

The flaws of both candidates were in view last night, as they have been throughout the campaign. Now, it's up to the voters to decide which flaws they are willing to accept.

One hopes they will make the right choice.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow, when we will name the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October. Hint - the winner has nothing at all to do with politics, presidential or otherwise. You're welcome.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* And even if you were in a cave in Outer Mongolia and had a satellite TV or radio connection.

 ** Thank God.

***A formal discussion on a particular matter in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward and which usually ends with a vote.

† Sorry for the non-gender-neutral term. Sue me.

The Danger of Stored Waste

I read this disturbing article the other day in the Washington Post - Factory Farming Practices Are Under Scrutiny Again in N.C. After Disastrous Hurricane Floods.

The short version of that story is this: enormous, factory-scale facilities for raising and slaughtering cattle, pigs, and chickens generate vast amounts of waste material - manure, urine, and other things - that are stored in huge "lagoons." And when major storms roll up the coast and flooding ruptures those lagoons, all that bacteria-laden, foul-smelling sludge spills out and combines with flood waters to compound what is already a disaster.

But the problem isn't limited to animal waste. What about our political waste? Consider the impact on our health and environment of the election detritus ...

Tens of millions of yard and highway signs that will end up in landfills;

Hundreds of millions of feet of film and thousands of hard drives full of digital video which contain heavy metals and other toxic materials;

Millions of pages of "opposition research," most of it without context;

Tens of billions of cubic feet of hot air* and poisonous gas;

Countless hours of annoying robo-calls that choke telephone lines, aggravate nerves, and provide no useful information;

Hours of threats and vitriol that have poisoned the well of good citizenship and denigrated the once-noble tradition of public service.

Oh, and then there's Congress ... as complete a waste of air and space as I've seen in my lifetime, hopelessly mired in the muck of I'm-Right-You're-Wrong-Screw-You hyperpartisanship**. We might as well just clean out the Capitol Building and rent the space to Super PACs and the NRA ... we'd be no worse off, and the rent would help pay off the national debt***.

Not all the toxic sludge that threatens our physical and mental environments can be blamed on industrial waste. Unfortunately, the industrial waste will be much easier to clean up in the long run. There's not a Superfund that's super enough to clean up the rest.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* As if global warming ... uh ... climate change isn't enough of a problem already.

** Please spare me the juvenile argument that the other side did it first/is worse.

*** Assuming they actually paid it, which is probably not a good assumption.

The Vision Thing

As the final presidential "debate" draws near, many commentators are suggesting that what both Mr Trump and Secretary Clinton need to do is convince undecided voters* why they should be elected ... in the often-quoted words of former President George W. Bush, they need to tell us about their "vision thing."

"Vision statements" are common in the business world, and can be defined as "a declaration of an organization's objectives, ideally based on economic foresight, intended to guide its internal decision-making." They provide a long-term goal against which plans can be drawn up to attain it.

In a post I wrote back in September of 2008, I suggested this as the vision statement I would have proposed as a presidential candidate:

"A prosperous America within secure borders, enjoying peaceful relations with all nations."

I wonder if Mr Trump and Secretary Clinton could come up with anything that simple and direct? Nah, we just get the same old ...

You now know my vision for America. What's yours? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* All three of them.

The Devil's Dictionary for an Election Year

If you have never had the pleasure of reading through Ambrose Bierce's classic work The Devil's Dictionary, you ought to do so. There are several versions of it available online (one is located here), and it can be purchased at any bookstore.

Considering that this is an election season of unusual bizarreness (bizarrity? bizarritude?), I thought it might be useful to see how Mr Bierce defined some of the terms commonly heard in conjunction with our national self-flagellation in The Devil's Dictionary ...

VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom — and of whom only — it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws*.  

JUSTICE, n. A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LEGISLATOR, n. A person who goes to the capital of his country to increase his own; one who makes laws and money.

LIBERTARIAN, n. One who is compelled by the evidence to believe in free-will, and whose will is therefore free to reject that doctrine.

CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

DEFAME, v.t. To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

CABINET, n. The principal persons charged with the mismanagement of a government, the charge being commonly well founded.

ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. 

POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

What are your favorites? Check out the dictionary online and leave a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Or, as I would define it, "A body of men and women who meet to accuse each other of malfeasance and prevent each other from accomplishing anything worthwhile."

Musical Sunday

With all the focus nowadays on the sometimes violent differences that separate us and the way they manifest themselves on our streets and in our seldom-civil discourse, it's nice that - as Tom Lehrer reminds us in this song from back in the 1960's - we have one week per year in which we can put aside our differences and if not love, then at least peacefully coexist with each other. Here is Tom Lehrer singing his classic song, "National Brotherhood Week," followed by "When You Are Old and Gray."

Speaking as one who is becoming increasingly old and gray, I must say that - so far, at least - Agnes has not hired any hit men.

Have a good day. Be civil to one another. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday Halloween Spectacular, Week 1

October is half over ...

Major polls indicate Hillary Clinton gaining a wider lead over Donald Trump with the election a little more than three weeks away; King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand, the world's longest-reigning monarch, died Thursday aged 88; iconic American singer/songwriter Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature; Donald Trump has rejected a slew of accusations of sexual misconduct, describing them as "totally and absolutely false;" and the US responded to missile attacks on Navy ships in the Red Sea by launching Tomahawk missiles at radar sites in Yemen.

There are three Saturdays to go before Halloween, including today, and so I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate those three Cartoon Saturdays to seasonally appropriate cartoons. This week we highlight vampires ...

It's not always easy to find the right costume ...

We used to think that garlic was the best thing to ward off vampires ...

The hidden danger of smart phones ...

Why even vampires need good dental care ...

Best pun of the day ... 

It had to happen ...

Vampires are also vulnerable to a Lysistrata approach to defense ...

Life's tough when you can't use the mirrors ...

Probably not the best advice ...

And one last take on the issue of not casting a reflection in the mirror ...

This has been the first week of our three-week Cartoon Saturday Halloween Blitz ... next week's cartoons will feature zombies, so be sure to come back then.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful fall weekend here in NoVa, perfect for trying to get some outdoor chores done while enjoying the sunshine. Winter will be here soon enough, and we'll go from complaining about heat and humidity to complaining about snow and wind chill. Sigh.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Here we go again ...

Chinese restaurants are always good for some interesting translations ...

I believe they're made with slices of rump steak ...

Hmmmm ...

Even the worst motorcycle gang can have a good side ...

There's nothing I hate more than having to pick the bones out of my cheese ...

Doesn't bringing your lunch sort of defeat the purpose? ...

I wonder if this is on the menu at that Chinese restaurant we saw earlier ...

I think they'll need to carefully inspect the bills she pays the fine with ...

If you see something, say something ...

So, when is that spaghetti dinner, again? ...

Have a good day. Kiss an editor. 

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Guest Post

Hey, there! It's me - Clara - Bilbo and Agnes's granddog.

It's been a while since I was able to post anything ... it's hard when you don't have a computer of your own, and it's even harder to type with paws. I think the last time was a few months ago, when I told you what I think about this election thing that's gotten all you humans into such a lather. You might want to read that post again ... I think we dogs have a lot more sense than you do.

But even though I'd like to bite that Trump person, I have to admit that he has at least one idea I could live with - let's build that wall! Let's keep out all the cats and squirrels and mailmen and door-to-door religion salesmen! It would certainly make my life better ... my time can be much better spent sleeping in the sun and playing with the children and keeping them safe. Who would pay for that wall, you ask? Well, everybody knows the squirrels have lots of nuts hidden away. And have you ever seen some of the fancy houses those religion salesmen live in? They can afford to pay for some walls to protect the rest of us! And the cats ... you know what cats are like. They're quiet and sneaky, and lots of people are saying they steal homes and food and toys from hard-working dogs like us. Keep 'em out, I say - build the wall!

I'm Clara, and I approved this message. 

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back tomorrow with more Great Moments in Editing. Until then, Woof!

Clara

Disclaimers

Because America has become such a litigious nation, we find it necessary to put warning labels and disclaimers on absolutely everything as a fig leaf in case of the inevitable lawsuit because - for instance - some moron didn't realize that (a) coffee is served hot and (b) if you spill hot coffee on yourself, it hurts. A 60-second commercial for any drug contains 50 seconds of warnings and disclaimers, and any tool or appliance you buy is covered with so many warning labels that it looks like a NASCAR racer.

With this in mind, and to prevent anyone from suing me over my blog, here is a collection of actual accumulated disclaimers and warning notices:

Objects may be closer than they appear. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. See your doctor if your erection lasts more than four hours. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. May contain nuts. Prolonged exposure may cause nausea, vomiting, dizziness, dry mouth, flu-like symptoms, gas, headache, insomnia, inappropriate feelings, itching, loss of appetite, confusion, ear pain, agitation, loss of memory, heart palpitations, sweating, tremors, fever, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, increased appetite, decreased appetite, nervousness, or rash. No purchase necessary to win. You must be present to win. Not intended for use by children under 5, or by people who act like it. Use only in well-ventilated areas. Enjoy responsibly. If conditions persist, consult your physician. Do not use machinery or drive until you know how this product affects you. Call before digging. No smoking, matches, or open lights. Serving suggestion. Best by date on package. Package is sold by weight, not volume. Void where prohibited. May cause irritability. Subject to change without notice. Close cover before striking. We do not make any representations regarding the use, validity, accuracy, or reliability of this product. Driver does not carry cash. In no event shall we be liable for any special, indirect, or consequential damages or any damages whatsoever arising from loss of use or profits, whether in an action, contract, negligence, or other tortuous action, arising out of or in connection with the use of the information/data on this site or any sites linked to this site. Other fees and charges may apply. No animals were harmed in the development of this product. Return for store credit only. Slippery when wet. Do not feed the animals. This product is meant for entertainment purposes only. Limit one per customer. This message, and any attachments, is for the intended recipient(s) only, may contain information that is privileged, confidential and/or proprietary and is subject to important terms and conditions. Not applicable to prior purchases. Terms of use are subject to binding arbitration and a waiver of class action rights as detailed in the appropriate sections of this contract. You agree not to upload, post or otherwise transmit any User Content that you know to be false, misleading or inaccurate*. Investment products are not FDIC insured, are not bank guaranteed, and may lose value, including your original investment. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete this message. The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV. The Expert guarantees neither the accuracy nor completeness of his/her advice. Contents may have settled in transit. Ensure your heart is healthy enough for sex.

Do not read this blog if you are allergic to ideas other than your own.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Not applicable in election years.

The Things We Shouldn't Say

We didn't need to watch the insulting circus of last Sunday night's "presidential" debate to know that New Yorker commentator Andy Borowitz called it correctly in his satirical article - "Bar Officially Cannot Be Lowered."

Mr Trump has brought public discourse to a new low of civility, and has coarsened our presidential politics to a degree not seen since ... well ... a long time. This article discusses some of the political insults that have been lobbed in American political campaigns across our history ... for example:

Abraham Lincoln was described as a "Filthy Story-Teller, Despot, Liar, Thief, Braggart, Buffoon, Usurper, Monster, Ignoramus Abe, Old Scoundrel, Perjurer, Robber, Swindler, Tyrant, Field-Butcher, [and] Land-Pirate."

A North Carolina congressman said of President Franklin Pierce that "The minions of power are watching you, to be turned out by the pimp of the White House if you refuse to sustain him. A man sunk so low we can hardly hate. We have nothing but disgust, pity, and contempt."

And Thomas Jefferson - a man we think of today as one of the heroic and brilliant members of the founding generation, said that then-president John Adams was "A blind, bald, crippled, toothless man who is a hideous hermaphrodite character with neither the force and fitness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman."

The insults were a bit quainter back then than some of the "locker-room" talk brushed aside by Mr Trump, but they were still as bitter and angry.

Here in the States, we revere our Constitutional guarantee of freedom of speech ... well, perhaps not quite so much as our Constitutional guarantee of being able to pack iron, but some of us still revere it. We do recognize some limits on our freedom of speech, though, even if we aggressively oppose limits on freedom of armament. The Federal Communications Commission, for example, tries to keep vulgar language off our television screens and radio airwaves ... George Carlin parodied this losing battle in his classic skit "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television." 

Our cousins across The Pond, on the other hand, are noted for their good manners, their politeness, and their stoic and understated reserve, as exemplified by the much-parodied World War II campaign that enjoined them to ...

Today in America, we might need a similar campaign ...

And we might begin by taking note of this comprehensive, well-organized list from British communications regulator Ofcom that ranks the offensiveness of individual swear words. 

Because I know that my grandchildren sometimes read this blog, I won't go into detail on the words themselves. I will just note that Ofcom has organized objectionable language into four categories: mild, medium, strong, and strongest. Mild includes such quaint and often-heard words as damn; strongest includes the sort of language now appearing in some reporting about our presidential campaign.

Wouldn't it be nice if we had some politicians who could actually use the language creatively ... like Winston Churchill, who had this comment that was as appropriate then as it is today:

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."

Have a good day. Use the language well. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo