Kittenfishing

Back when I was in the dating pool, shortly after the earth's crust cooled, getting a date wasn't easy. Rather than the ruggedly handsome, manly stud you've come to know, I was skinny, awkward, and something of a nerd, which was an impediment to attracting the attention of the girls in whom I was most interested. But at least there were odd, 21st century dating practices I managed to avoid back then ... like kittenfishing.

I'd never heard of kittenfishing until this morning, when I stumbled on an article titled The New Dating Hazards You Need to Know About. I hadn't heard about catfishing, either, which is supposedly the dating hazard from which kittenfishing has mutated. I must lead a sheltered life.

Anyhow, kittenfishing is defined in the article as "the act of unrealistic self-presentation," for instance, using old and exceptionally flattering photos on social media and dating websites, or claiming interests one doesn't really have and experiences one has never actually experienced. Catfishing, on the other hand, is the creation of an entirely fake individual - supposedly, more attractive and engaging than oneself - for use in Internet dating.

I'm glad I'm out of the dating market. Things were hard enough back in the Paleozoic.

Have a good day, and watch out for catfishers, kittenfishers, and other such hazards of dating in the digital age. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Poetry ... uh ... Tuesday

Today's poem was supposed to run last Sunday, but I bumped it to today to take advantage of the timely topic of Trump Administration NewSpeak. But it's finally time to get warm with a poem for a cold winter's day ... even though today here in NoVa, the temperature will be near 60 degrees.

Winter: Tonight: Sunset 

by David Budbill 

Tonight at sunset walking on the snowy road,
my shoes crunching on the frozen gravel, first
through the woods, then out into the open fields
past a couple of trailers and some pickup trucks, I stop
and look at the sky. Suddenly: orange, red, pink, blue,
green, purple, yellow, gray, all at once and everywhere.
I pause in this moment at the beginning of my old age
and I say a prayer of gratitude for getting to this evening
a prayer for being here, today, now, alive
in this life, in this evening, under this sky.

Have a good day. Be grateful to be alive, even in the age of Trump.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Next Sound You Hear ...

One of the things I've noticed as I've grown older is the ever-growing number of odd noises my body makes, usually at inopportune times. These are not necessarily dangerous, but can range from the inconvenient to the downright embarrassing. They can also be interesting from a linguistic standpoint.

I recently ran across this article by Akira Okrent: 21 Fancy Medical Terms for Mundane Problems, and found it fascinating. I'll not bore you with all 21 of the fancy terms your doctor uses to make you feel like you're getting your money's worth out of your health insurance (if you're lucky enough to have it), but I really related to this one: crepitus.

Derived from the Latin word for "rattle" or "crack," crepitus is the popping, creaking, or crackling sounds your joints make when you get out of bed in the morning, usually caused by cartilage wear in the joint space or, in soft tissues, by the release of trapped gas*.

I was interested to note that one of my favorite words - decrepit - comes from the same Latin root. And a little more reading led me to a Wikipedia article about Crepitus, supposedly the Roman god of flatulence. Unfortunately, Crepitus may not have been an actual god, but a satirical figure invented over time, although he may have given his name to the act of crepitation and thus to the amazing, one-of-a-kind Crepitation Contest ...

Feeling decrepit? Join the club.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* This is what happens when you crack your knuckles.

Things You Can't Say

If you came here expecting to see the usual Poetry Sunday offering, I'm afraid you'll have to wait a few days for your poetry fix. I decided to go with another topic today while it's hot in the news, and Monday's post is already written ... so Poetry Sunday will appear on Tuesday this week. Sorry for the confusion.

This is the time of year when we suffer through the nonsense of the so-called "War on Christmas," in which hypersensitive zealots think their rights are being infringed when you say "Happy Holidays," "Season's Greetings," "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Kwanzaa," or anything other than "Merry Christmas." I've always been fond of this approach to the issue:

Unfortunately, there are people who believe in using language as a cudgel to impose their political agendas on the rest of us. For today's example, I call your attention to this news article that appeared yesterday: CDC Gets List of Forbidden Words: Fetus, Transgender, Diversity.

Yes, Dear Readers, the Trump Administration has directed the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to make sure that politically-unapproved scientific concepts, words, and ideas do not find their way into government announcements. The officially-banned words are:

Vulnerable;

Entitlement;

Diversity;

Transgender;

Fetus;

Evidence-based;

and,

Science-based.

According to an analyst who participated in the briefing at which the new rules were introduced, the phrase “CDC bases its recommendations on science in consideration with community standards and wishes” should be used instead of “science-based” or “evidence-based.”* A spokesperson for the Department of Health and Human Services** issued a statement claiming that the report was "a complete mischaracterization of discussions regarding the budget formulation process."***

A complete list of the GOP-approved terms to replace the seven blacklisted ones has not yet been released, but I expect it will look like this when it does:

Instead of Vulnerable, use Whiny and Complaining.

Instead of Entitlement, use Unearned and Undeserved Government Handout.

Instead of Diversity, use Unwarranted Government Interference in Population Distribution.

Instead of Transgender, use Unnatural.

Instead of Fetus, use Baby or Child.

Instead of Evidence-Based, use Supported by Fake News.

Instead of Science-Based, note that Scientists Disagree, regardless of how many scientists disagree, whether the scientists who disagree are in relevant fields, or the nature of their disagreements.

Consider that the CDC - the federal agency that's supposed to protect us from global/nationwide epidemics - is not allowed to say evidence-based or science-based. What could possibly go wrong?

I hope you're taking notes for the 2018 and 2020 elections.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Because, of course, community standards and wishes - particularly conservative ones - are more important than medical science in protecting you from disease.

** Not one of the GOP's favorite cabinet agencies, to be sure.

*** Tomato, tomahto.

Cartoon Saturday

It's been quite a week, even by current standards ...

Saudi Arabia stuck a tentative toe into the water of the 21st century when it announced it will lift a 35-year-old ban on movie theaters in the kingdom - "a watershed moment in the development of the cultural economy in the Kingdom," according to Minister of Culture and Information Awwad Alawwad; House and Senate Republicans have agreed on on the framework of their fast-track, closed-door tax reform package, hoping to ram it through Congress in time for Donald Trump to sign it as a Christmas gift for big business and the wealthy; Democratic candidate Doug Jones scored a stunning victory over Republican Roy Moore to become the first Democratic Senator elected in Alabama in a quarter of a century; a pair of lovers in India have been accused of killing the woman's husband and then having cosmetic surgery performed on the male lover so he could take the husband's place; and near Dulles Airport in Washington, DC, a man was arrested after getting into a car crash, taking off his clothes and jumping on a vehicle, causing major delays during the Tuesday afternoon rush hour.

This week, in honor of a Congress that continues to show us just how much it believes in serving the average citizen, our cartoons deal with politics and politicians ...

I'd wondered how early a career in politics began ...

Rural America ... you know, the place that used to be the stronghold of American values rather than the seat of its worst fears and hatreds ...

True enough ...

Yes, that's about how it works ...

This, of course, presupposes that the wearer has any interest at all in keeping stories straight ...

You say "campaign ad," I say "fraud" ... let's call the whole thing off ...

How Faux News finds its on-air talent ...

Does not apply to the Trump administration, which does not believe in corrections, and the clarifications don't make sense ...

How the pyramid scheme of politics works ...

Oh, well ... CNN and Fox are choices, after all ...

And that's your Cartoon Saturday for this week - helping you laugh as well as cry over politics. It's going to be a cold and blustery weekend here in NoVa, although it's looking like we won't have a white Christmas, except in the White House. Sigh.

Don't forget to keep casting those votes for Ass Clown of the Year - there are just two weeks remaining for you to do your part to dishonor those who have earned this august* title.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

* Yes, I know it's actually December. Just work with me on this, okay?

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2017

Have you cast your votes for the Ass Clown of the Year yet? If not, get moving, because the deadline for voting is fast approaching ... your votes must be cast by 11:59 PM on December 31st. You can review the ground rules for voting and read the summary of voting to date after today's post ...

But before we name the Ass Clown of the Year for 2017, we still have to announce two more biweekly winners, and with that in mind, I have decided to designate as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2017

Presidential Press Secretary

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

This is the second award for Ms Sanders, who was our Right-Cheek Ass Clown in November of this year. In the last week, she has claimed - without evidence - that the news media deliberately falsifies stories to mislead the American people. Her basis for this accusation was the case of a story by an ABC news reporter who published a single-source story that was soon proven to be inaccurate, and who has been suspended without pay by ABC. It's worth reiterating that (1) the error was noted and corrected by ABC and the reporter was suspended; and (2) no one in the administration - including Donald Trump - has ever apologized or been disciplined for deliberately misleading the American people. News reporters who make errors publish retractions or corrections ... members of the Trump administration not only do not apologize or make corrections, they double down and accuse others of malfeasance for reporting the truth.

It is difficult to be the spokesperson for a man as divorced from truth, dignity, and courtesy as Donald Trump, but Ms Sanders has thrown away her own dignity and credibility by doubling down on the miserable record of the administration she serves. One has to wonder if she believes in her heart the ridiculous, easily-disprovable rot she presents on behalf of an administration that can no longer be taken seriously.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is named as the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2017.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns to brighten spirits that could use some brightening.

Bilbo

Here's a recap of the rules for Ass Clown of the Year Voting:

1. Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your pets, your friends' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, please don't cast more than ten votes at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often. You can vote for multiple candidates in the same submission.

2. You may vote for any of the biweekly award winners, or for anyone else you wish (see a full list of the winners prior to this week here). SPECIAL NOTE: Donald Trump, having been presented a lifetime achievement award in October after receiving the award nine previous times, is no longer eligible for selection as a Right- or Left-Cheek Ass Clown; however, he may receive Ass Clown of the Year votes in this, his final year of eligibility.

3. You need not be legally authorized to vote in an official American election.

4. Photo ID is not required. If you are concerned that the Russians will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that conspiracy theorists already convinced that elections are rigged will assume that any IDs presented will be falsified, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof other than conformity to one's preconceived notions. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about the Russians.

5. Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on any blog post between now and then; by sending me an e-mail; by sending me a PM on Facebook if we are connected there; or in person if we should happen to meet.

The voting results so far are:

1st Place: Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
2nd Place: Donald Trump.
3rd Place: Roy Moore.
4th Place: Ted Cruz.
5th Place: James O'Keefe.

Let your voice be heard - vote early and vote often!

Bilbo

Agnogenesis

Courtesy of one of my favorite websites, WordSpy, comes this marvelous and sadly-useful word: agnogenesis, defined as "the deliberate production of information or ideas that create ignorance or unwarranted doubt." It derives from two Greek words: agnosia (“ignorance” or "absence of knowledge") and genesis (“generation” or “origin”).

It's sad that we need such a word, but it helps to describe the actions and motivations of cunningly disreputable people like Donald Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Alex Jones, and so many others.

Think before you believe. And especially before you tweet or retweet.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Lessons from Christmas Songs

Christmas songs provide us with elements of warmth and joy that are sadly needed in times like these. They teach lessons of selflessness and brotherhood along with those of the what-can-Santa-bring-me sort. And, oddly enough, they can teach us some grammar lessons.

I recently ran across this interesting 2015 article from Mental Floss: 6 Grammar Lessons Hidden in Christmas Songs. Don't worry - you don't have to be a linguist to enjoy it, and you may learn something about the songs you sing along with the holiday mall music. One of the lessons I found particularly interesting concerns the traditional song, God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen, which suffers from the indignity of a somewhat-unexpected comma. The article tells us that the song does not tell us that the merry gentlemen should rest, but that the gentlemen should rest merry, which was a way of expressing good wishes in the English language of Shakespeare's time.

You need to watch those commas ... after all, they've caused no end of problems in other areas, such as in the Holy Second Amendment (let me hear you say hallelujah!), which reads,

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

Those pesky commas between "Militia" and "being" and between "Arms" and "shall" have been argued and litigated ad nauseum by all sides of the gun rights argument, without any noticeable result other than a continually-rising body count.

But let us not discuss that now, because at this time of year I prefer to think about silent nights, little drummer boys, all the faithful coming, and whether you hear what I hear. There's plenty of time to think about the joy of deadly weapons the other 11 months of the year.

Have a good day, and rest merry. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cleanup Needed on Aisle 1

There's been a huge surge recently in the recognition of the problem of sexual harassment, with many prominent persons (mostly men) in the worlds of politics*, business, and entertainment forced out of their jobs or prominent positions because of their sexual misdeeds. It's led to a lot of soul-searching in some quarters, and much discussion of what can be done to help end the problem.

There was an interesting piece in the Washington Post this past Sunday titled "The One Best Idea for Ending Sexual Harassment," in which a number of prominent people** offered their best ideas. All were good, and I could see most of them actually taking hold, but one of them appealed to the linguist in me: Kishia Clemencia, a captain in the Washington DC Fire and EMS Department, suggested Let's clean up the language. She wrote it this way:

"In our agency, you have to lead by example. Discipline is important. When those in positions of authority are crude in conversation, it fosters an environment that makes it easy for misconduct to happen. Vulgarity in language, even if inappropriate touching never happens, trickles down throughout the organization. If people in a position to lead and make decisions constantly curse and joke about sex while playing down complaints about harassment, it sends the message that harassment is not a problem — and that everyone else should feel the same way. Loose conversation promotes a negative culture throughout the chain of command. It’s hard to change people’s morals or values individually, but the agency can set the precedent that that kind of language is not acceptable — from the top down."

We all know the old schoolyard taunt that sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me ... but they will. The use of crude sexual language, particularly by those in positions of authority, sends the message that this is okay, it's normal, get used to it.

Unfortunately, we have gotten used to it. And the most egregious offender is getting a free pass.

Have a good day, and watch your language. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Apparently applicable to Democrats only ... the GOP denies it has a problem, and it clearly doesn't - because it stridently denies it has a problem.

** Who have not been accused of anything so far.

Health Care Terms, Defined

Back in June of 2010 I wrote a tongue-in-cheek, satirical post* in which I provided snarky answers to questions about the American system of health care. It's been seven years since then, and so I figured it's time to revisit the topic and help provide clarity to a complex topic. Here are explanations of some of the terms which are often tossed around in the heated debate** over various health care options ...

"Socialized Medicine"

There are several definitions of this controversial term. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as "medical and hospital services for the members of a class or population administered by an organized group (such as a state agency) and paid for from funds obtained usually by assessments, philanthropy, or taxation." The GOP defines it as "a callous and unjustified giveaway by a satanic system that forces rich, healthy people to pay for the care of losers who shouldn't have gotten sick in the first place."

"Prescription Drug Coverage"

There are two definitions of this term. The first is "health insurance or a related plan that helps pay for prescription drugs and medications." The second is "the dense blanket of laws, tax code provisions, confusing legal wording, and conflicting statistics that prevents patients from understanding the cost of prescription drugs and making informed decisions."

"Single-Payer System"

As the name implies, this is a system in which there is only one entity, typically a government agency or private system operating under a government charter, which pays for health care for citizens. Most of the developed world uses this system, which has the advantage of reducing costs by reducing administrative overhead for health care providers. From a conservative or libertarian perspective, it's the equivalent of socialized medicine and must be avoided at all costs because everyone knows that government utterly ruins everything it touches***.

"Death Panel"


--> According to a claim originally made by Sarah Palin and continuing to be believed by the credulous, it's group of faceless government bureaucrats that decides whether specific persons are worthy of receiving health care. A death panel differs from the current health care system only insofar as government bureaucrats, rather than insurance company analysts, make decisions on the provision of health care.
"Obamacare"

A derogatory term applied by conservatives to the Affordable Care Act (ACA), the health care reform program enacted during the presidency of Barack Obama. The GOP is totally and completely opposed to the ACA and is intent on replacing it with something. Anything. Some day. 

"Co-Pay"

The extra money you pay to your doctor or pharmacist for service after you've already paid your insurance premiums.

"Deductable"

The amount of money you have to pay before your insurance company begins to pay the benefits you're already paying premiums for them to provide.

I hope this helps you understand some of the confusing terminology of health care. My best advice: don't get sick. You can't understand it, and you probably can't afford it.

Have a good day. Eat lots of apples to keep expensive doctors away. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Hard to believe, isn't it?

** "Debate" is defined here as "wild and uninformed shouting and the use of out-of-context anecdotes and statistics to bolster one's position."

*** No wonder it's only lasted 200-plus years.