Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Well, here we are at the second Friday in March, and it's our first installment for the month of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. You've been waiting long enough ... let's get to it!

Well, that's some good winter driving advice ...

... and gets a job as an editor ...

Somehow, I'm not surprised ...

Um ... I can't see the new eye doctor, either ...

Your police force at work! ...

I'm not sure that that's necessarily a good substitution, but as conservatives will tell you, the marketplace is always correct ...

I think I'll go next door ...

They're expensive to buy uniforms for, but it'll be tough for miscreants to outrun them ...

I'm not sure I feel sorry for them ... 

She didn't read the fine print ...

And there you have it - the first collection for the new month! I hope you enjoyed it.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Now that I've decided to start writing letters to family and friends once again, I'm faced with the usual problem of making those letters interesting so that people look forward to receiving them. It's not always as easy as you might think, especially when life is just flowing along normally and without drama, or when there are two children in the same house who each want their own (non-identical!) letters. Here's a good poem on the topic ...

In your next letter,

by Carrie Shipers

          please describe
the weather in great detail. If possible,
enclose a fist of snow or mud,
everything you know about the soil,
how tomato leaves rub green against
your skin and make you itch, how slow
the corn is growing on the hill.
Thank you for the photographs
of where the chicken coop once stood,
clouds that did not become tornadoes.
When I try to explain where I’m from,
people imagine corn bread, cast-iron,
cows drifting across grass. I interrupt
with barbed wire, wind, harvest air
that reeks of wheat and diesel.
I hope your sleep comes easy now
that you’ve surrendered the upstairs,
hope the sun still lets you drink
one bitter cup before its rise. I don’t miss
flannel shirts, radios with only
AM stations, but there’s a certain kind
of star I can’t see from where I am-
bright, clear, unconcerned. I need
your recipes for gravy, pie crust,
canned green beans. I’m sending you
the buttons I can’t sew back on.
Please put them in the jar beside your bed.
In your next letter, please send seeds
and feathers, a piece of bone or china
you plowed up last spring. Please
promise I'm missing the right things.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Write someone a letter ... they'll appreciate it.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

It's time for the first Cartoon Saturday of a new month. Believe me, you're going to need the laughs ...

The second Trump-Kim summit ended in Hanoi with no substantive agreements on denuclearlization or sanctions relief; former Trump fixer and personal lawyer Michael Cohen testified before three different House committees, dodging the bullets he once said he'd take for his boss; nuclear-armed antagonists India and Pakistan squared off again, with India launching air strikes against alleged terrorist sites in Pakistan and Pakistan claiming to have downed two Indian jets; a federal judge in Texas ordered election officials to stop a planned purge of electoral rolls, calling their effort “ham-handed” and “threatening,” and saying there is no evidence of widespread voter fraud in the state; and in Alabama, two people were arrested on assault and disorderly conduct charges after engaging in a brawl over helpings of crab legs at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

This week, we lament the woeful circus that is playing where Congress used to be with a series of cartoons about politics, politicians, and their games ...

Why you have to carefully read between the lines ...

He's probably a Republican, scared to death of Mr Trump ...

It seems like a good match ...

This is pretty much how Congressional hearings work ...

Bull's-Eye!! ...

Obviously ...

Well-played ...

Does it remind you of anyone? ...

Yep ...

For those of you who believe you'll never be able to get a job with a degree in Linguistics ...

And that's it for our first Cartoon Saturday for the new month. Helping you laugh when you can't cry ... it's how I roll.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns for another month.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2019

It's a new month, and there are lots of ass clowns out there clamoring for attention, so let's get right to it ...

As always, it's difficult to single out one worthy recipient from the howling masses, but this week one awardee clearly stands out. And so it is that we designate as

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2019

The GOP Members

of the

House Oversight Committee

On February 27th, former Trump "fixer" and personal lawyer Michael Cohen testified before the House Committee on Oversight and Reform ("The House Oversight Committee"), controlled since last year's midterm election by the Democratic majority. Mr Cohen, who has already been convicted of numerous financial crimes and of previously lying to Congress, was asked to testify about his knowledge of possible illegal activities by Donald Trump.

The course of the day was predictable, if depressing. The Democratic majority largely focused on pinning down such evidence of Trump misdeeds as Mr Cohen could provide and (in the case of Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) identifying other potential witnesses and laying the groundwork for future, more focused hearings. The GOP members, on the other hand, relentlessly attacked Mr Cohen's credibility and did not, with the minor exception of Rep Justin Amash (R, MI-03), ask any substantive questions pertinent to the topic of the hearing. Reps Jim Jordan (R-OH-04) and Paul Gosar (R, AZ-04) in particular were vicious in their repeated personal attacks on the witness.

The hearing developed along sharply partisan lines, as one would expect. What was not unexpected, but nevertheless depressing, was the single-minded focus of the GOP members on asking (with the tentative exception of Rep Amash) not a single question about Mr Trump's actions. The President's mendacity and want of character are well-established and beyond dispute, and the relentless GOP attacks on the witness were likely a feeble attempt to defend the indefensible actions of a deeply flawed president. They are willing to overlook Mr Trump's ugly core because he gives them what they want - in particular a fundamental reshaping of the federal judiciary through his nominations of deeply conservative judges. They railed at the hearing as a complete waste of time that could have been better spent on addressing the needs of the American people, but evidently failed to recall that the GOP engineered no less than 33 separate hearings into the terror attack in Benghazi with the intent to damage then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and numerous hearings into Secretary Clinton's e-mail practices. 

Now, one can legitimately question the character and veracity of Mr Cohen, but his bona fides as a decades-long close confidant of Mr Trump are beyond question. This hearing, while distasteful for persons who love their country and wish that Congress could spend more time on serious issues like climate change, the epidemic of gun violence, and the nation's crumbling infrastructure, was an attempt to investigate legitimate issues ignored while the GOP was in control of the House. The craven actions of the GOP members of the Oversight Committee were shameful and demonstrate the degree to which the once-proud Republican party has been degraded and debased by its submission to Donald Trump.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award for March, 2019, is presented to the GOP Members of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform. 

The gavel is hereby dropped.

Have a good day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

The Irish singer/songwriter Eithne Pádraigín Ní Bhraonáin, better known simply as "Enya," has a wonderful, etherial voice that I find relaxing and exciting at the same time. This song is not only a beautiful melody, but also a great Viennese Waltz tempo to which I have danced many times ...

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

And it's the last Cartoon Saturday for this ... um ... interesting month ...

TV actor Jussie Smollett continued to insist on his innocence after Chicago police unveiled mountains of evidence that he had staged a hate crime of which he was the victim in order to improve his salary on the popular show "Empire;" North Carolina will re-run its contested 9th District House of Representatives election after revelations that the state GOP had engaged in massive voting fraud; Venezuelan President Maduro closed his nation's border with Brazil to prevent delivery of food and medical aid he claimed was a US plan to destabilize his administration; Peter Tork, a member of the popular 1960s band The Monkees, died at the age of 77; and a Coast Guard officer was arrested after it was discovered that he was using his work computer to research mass murder and plan widespread domestic terrorist attacks.

Between Donald Trump, Congress, and the loonies of the left and right, it seems appropriate to offer up a selection of cartoons this week featuring clowns ... specifically, riffs on the car that seems to hold an infinite number of them ...

They can cause terrifying accidents ...

They often need special options ...

HOV violations? Not here! ...

When alien abductions go wrong ...

Clowns travel by air, too ...

The final practical exam ...

Clowns traveling by air, part 2 ...

Cars, strollers, whatever ...

I wonder if he checked the back seat, trunk, glove compartment, etc ...

Did you ever wonder who designed those cars? ...

And that finishes up our last Cartoon Saturday for the otherwise depressing month of February. Nothing like a reminder that clowns can, indeed, be funny when they're not elected or appointed.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow and mellow out with a classic from Enya on Musical Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Last collection for the month of February ...

I'd like the butter pecan or the chocolate mint one, please ...

Sounds like something Trump would do ...

Good dog, bad cat ...

Guard dog, cheap ...

Now, that's real gun safety ...

Use the cat drop, instead ...

When you don't want to pay a lot for an obituary notice ...

And the other part would be? ...

That about sums it up ...

Thank goodness there's no hot sauce there! ...

And that's it for this month. Hope you've enjoyed these collections of the weird, and that you'll send me any that you find ... your contributions are always gratefully accepted.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

This past Thursday we celebrated Valentine's Day, our annual homage to romantic love and to the pocketbooks of the nation's florists, greeting card manufacturers, and candy makers. This week's poem takes a different look at the sort of gift one might give to one's Valentine ...

Valentine

by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.


I like onions, but I think I'll stick with the cute card or the kissogram.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Another week gone by ... oy ...

William Barr was confirmed as the new Attorney General, replacing Jeff Sessions as Donald Trump's go-to scapegoat; Amazon cancelled its plans to build one of its two new campuses in New York City, citing local political opposition; as tax season ramps up, many Americans are paying more in tax or receiving smaller refunds despite the GOP's much-ballyhooed tax cut; Congress passed a spending bill without all the wall funding Donald Trump wanted, avoiding a shutdown but setting up a major Constitutional fight as Trump declared a national emergency to get his funding; and the nation marked the first anniversary of the Parkland High School mass murder on Thursday without evidence of any lessons learned.

This week, how about cartoons about the Ten Commandments because, well, why not? ...

So it's said ...

Press "Enter" to accept, "Escape" to sin ...

Competition can be tough ...

Or maybe some inserted ad with a notation that "commandments will resume after this ad" ...

In law, they're called "loopholes" ...

Then and now ...

Some things never change ...

Ah, autocorrect ...

Or retweets, either ...

There's always someone with a stupid question ...

Honor thy father and thy mother, but not necessarily the present occupant of the White House, a regular violator of at least two of the other Commandments. You can figure which ones.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow,  on Poetry Sunday.

Bilbo