The Right Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for February, 2015

Dear Readers, if you have been keeping track of the alternating Friday schedules of Great Moments in Editing and Ass Clown Awards, you know that today should feature the former. However, since it's my blog and since a prime candidate has arisen, I have decided to go ahead and change the schedule so that I can name the

Right Cheek Ass Clown of the Month

for

February, 2015

 And the award goes to

Kanye West

You will no doubt recall that it was Mr West who, in 2009, loudly and boorishly stormed the stage at the Grammys to protest the award given to Taylor Swift, which he believed should have been given to his friend Beyonce Knowles. He received no small measure of opprobrium over that affair, but it did not seem to change his behavior, for at last week’s Grammy Awards, he did the same thing again, this time interrupting the presentation of an award to performer Beck who, according to Mr West, was getting an award that should have gone to … surprise! … Beyonce. After the show, he lectured that 

“Beck needs to respect artistry and he should’ve given his award to Beyonce.” He went on to insult the Grammy Awards themselves by saying, “When you keep on diminishing art and not respecting the craft and smacking people in their face after they deliver monumental feats of music, you’re disrespectful to inspiration. And we as musicians have to inspire people who go to work every day, and they listen to that Beyonce album and they feel like it takes them to another place.”*

Clearly, Mr West thinks he knows better than everyone else who ought to win music awards. But that opinion was not shared by Shirley Manson, frontwoman for the group Garbage, who posted an open letter to him on Facebook, saying,

“You disrespect your own remarkable talents** and more importantly you disrespect the talent, hard work and tenacity of all artists when you go so rudely and savagely after such an accomplished and humble artist like BECK. You make yourself look small and petty and spoilt. In attempting to reduce the importance of one great talent over another, you make a mockery of all musicians and music from every genre, including your own. Grow up and stop throwing your toys around. You are making yourself look like a complete twat … I am pretty certain Beyonce doesn’t need you fighting any battles on her account. Seems like she’s got everything covered perfectly well on her own.”

For his spoiled, boorish behavior and crude insult to a fellow performer, Kanye West is named as our Right Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for February.

I wonder if anyone will storm my blog to tell me that someone else should have won.

Have a good day. See you in this space tomorrow for our special Valentine’s Day edition of Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo 

* Beck himself was quoted afterward as saying he thought Beyonce was going to win, and replied to West’s crude comments with a gracious, “I still love him and think he’s genius. I aspire to do what he does.” That, folks, is class.

** For the record, I do not find that Mr West’s talent – such as it is – to be at all remarkable. Sorry, Shirley.

Lincoln's Birthday

Today, February 12th, is the birthday (in 1809) of one of our greatest presidents - Abraham Lincoln.

He led the country through the Civil War (and did a much better job of it than some other presidents have led other wars*), and engaged in the famous Lincoln-Douglas Debates, which set a standard for political debate that will never be matched by any of the sorry pretenders infesting Washington today.

He was a self-educated man and a brilliant speaker ... his Gettysburg Address and Second Inaugural are unmatched in American oratory. What American political figure today could give a speech including the words

"With malice toward none, with charity for all ..."

I don't see words like those coming out of the mouth of any current political gasbag - particularly on today's far right.

Abraham Lincoln was a flawed man, to be sure, as we all are. But he was a good man and the right leader at the right time. Those who today bandy his name and image to sell cars and mattresses at Presidents Day sales, or pretend to embody his image and philosophy while demonstrating the opposite with their behavior, have no idea of Lincoln's legacy.

Happy Birthday, Abe! I'm sorry you have to look down and see the mess our government has become.

Have a good day. Do a little reading on one of our greatest presidents and learn what we've lost.

Be here tomorrow for the nomination of this month's Right Cheek Ass Clown. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Yes, W, I'm talking to you.

Not Recommended for Family Vacations

Most of us like to travel, to see new places and experience new things. There are, however, some places that probably ought not to be on your vacation bucket list. Courtesy of TheRichest.com, here are the ten most dangerous cities in the world ...

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - One of my favorite old movies is the 1933 Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers film "Flying Down to Rio." Nowadays, "Flying Over Rio En Route to Someplace Safer" would probably be a more accurate title. Terrible slums and rampant street crime make it a dangerous place, even though the murder rate has actually gone down a bit over the last few years.

Cape Town, South Africa - Huge ethnic divisions and economic disparities have led to wide class divisions, with crimes like kidnapping, rape, murder and robbery - often racially aggravated - very common. The scenery is beautiful, but perhaps it's better viewed from a distance.

Guatemala City, Guatemala - As with so many other Central American locations, drugs, gangs, poor public infrastructure, and corrupt police have created a dangerous stew of violent crime.

Baghdad, Iraq - Once a thriving, relatively tolerant city with a street dedicated to bookstores*, it's now largely a dangerous wasteland. And we had a large hand in making it that way.

Acapulco, Mexico - Agnes and I actually visited here briefly in November of 2008 on one of our cruise vacations. As with almost everyplace else we visited in Mexico, I was amazed at the number of heavily armed private guards and police everywhere. Seeing the famous cliff divers was great ... seeing evidence of the need to protect against deadly crime everywhere, not so much.

Caracas, Venezuela - Drugs, gang wars, and rampant street crime make this an extraordinarily dangerous city, cited as the “Murder Capital of the World” in 2008 by Foreign Policy magazine because 510 people were murdered in the month of December alone. And the murder rate has increased since then ... by an estimated 67%!

Kabul, Afghanistan - As the article says, "The desperate struggle between the local government, power-hungry militant groups, terrorists and American forces have created a hostile environment in which anything can happen at any time."

Karachi, Pakistan - Not just extremely violent and religiously intolerant, but a major center for sex slavery and human trafficking.

Ciudad Juarez, Mexico - Corrupt police, drug gangs, murder, and kidnapping ... and right across the border from El Paso. Need I say more?

San Pedro Sula, Honduras - Armed drug gangs, illegal traffic in weapons, and the highest murder rate in the world - about 169 per 100,000 residents make this a poor choice for a vacation getaway.

That staycation doesn't look so bad any more, does it? You could also visit Washington, DC, where street crime is a problem, but one that's overshadowed by the higher-level crime centered on K Street** and Capitol Hill.

Have a good day. Travel smartly.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Since destroyed by religious fanatics who don't think anyone should read anything but the Quran.

** Where most of the big-name lobbyists have their headquarters.

The Slogan at Mike's

One of our favorite local restaurants is Mike's American Grill. The food is excellent, the prices are reasonable, and the service is excellent. It's too loud, and the parking is yucky, but in the end everything balances out and we always enjoy going there. I particularly like their motto, which appears on the website and in large neon letters around the big clock overlooking the dining room:

Be Nice or Get Out

It's a shame that such a sign is needed, but nowadays people seem to go out of their way not to be nice. My father was among the most polite and gentle of men, and he lived a good life, succeeded in business, and was surrounded by a huge circle of friends that appreciated the pleasant demeanor that he tried (successfully, I hope) to pass on to us.

It seems that the default position for behavior today is screw-you-I'm-right-you're-wrong-you-can-go-to-hell. We almost expect shameful behavior from so-called celebrities like Kanye West, whose antics at the Grammy Awards proved yet again that he combines mediocre talent with despicable manners.

Why is it so hard to be nice? We know that the anonymity of the Internet encourages bad behavior, a fact you can prove to yourself simply by reading the comments posted to any online news article or participating in many online games ...

But I think that the real reason is that many parents no longer value or teach the kindness, politeness, and good manners that parents of my generation found so important. People don't value words like "please," "thank you," "you're welcome," and "after you." The Kanye Wests of the world demand respect without being willing to give it, and legitimize boorish behavior to their circles of fans.

Do your part. Observe the Golden Rule, and teach it to your children.

Be nice, or get out. This means you, Kanye and Kim. I hope it's not too late for baby North*.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* And who in their right mind would saddle a defenseless child with a name like that?

There and Back Again

Well, yes, that was the alternate title of the J.R.R. Tolkien's classic novel, The Hobbit, over-filmed over the last three years by Peter Jackson. But it serves as a reasonably good title for my first post since last Monday ... brief though it will be.

Once again, thanks to all of you who expressed your condolences on the deaths of Agnes's and my fathers, by comment, e-mail, card, letter, and Facebook post. You are truly great friends, virtual or not. We just got back from Germany on Saturday night, and my brain is still not quite sure what time zone it's in, so I'm just going to share with you a few brief observations about the last week. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

1) It was as cold in Germany as I ever remember it being, and I lived there a long time. On the day of the funeral for Agnes's father, it was so cold and windy that the holy water in the bowl at the cemetery froze .. the celebrant had to break the sprinkler loose from the sheet of ice that had formed around it in the short time the water had been out in front of the burial niche.

2) A large and loving family is a treasure beyond price. So are good friends, live and virtual.

3) Germans are always amazed when they find that an American speaks their language. When we went through passport control in Frankfurt on our way home on Saturday, my passport was inspected by a young female police officer. She asked where I'd learned to speak German, and I told her that I'd studied it in college and had a German wife. She replied that it could be dangerous to have a German wife (and the officer at the next window agreed with her). I said that it was not that bad, and that Agnes didn't hit me more than twice a day. The second officer said that was pretty good, and I was lucky. The first one stamped my passport and started to hand it back, then quickly pulled it away and asked if I wouldn't rather stay in Germany ... I told her that it would be too dangerous not to go back. Agnes, of course, was standing on the other side of the barricade (having gone through the EU-citizens line rather than the darned foreigners line) listening to the whole thing. That was interesting ... not everyone manages to joke with the inspectors at passport control!

4) German beer is wonderful.

5) So is German food.

6) German trains have gone downhill considerably over the years since the system was privatized. When I arrived in Frankfurt on Thursday morning I bought my ticket to Singen and headed for the right platform ... where I was met with an announcement that the train had been cancelled. I waited for the Ersatzzug (replacement train) for about 20 minutes, long enough to miss my connection in Stuttgart* and ensure that I arrived in Singen nearly two hours behind schedule ... bad enough, but when your trip is only two days long, it's extra annoying.

7) When you leave Washington on Wednesday afternoon, arrive in Germany Thursday morning, attend a funeral on Friday afternoon, and fly back to the States on Saturday, it really messes with your body clock.

8) I am still jetlagged and am running out of coherent thought, so I'll quit here while I'm ahead.

Have a good day. More (and, hopefully, more coherent) thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* If you are traveling by train in Germany, avoid the Stuttgart main station at all costs. I can tell you stories that would curl your hair.

I Will Be Taking a Break from Blogging This Week

I want to take a moment to thank all of you who expressed your condolences over the past few days for the death of my father. Your comments posted to this blog, on Facebook, and in personal e-mails and notes were a source of comfort and solace in a difficult time.

As those of you who are my friends on Facebook already know, Agnes's father passed away this past Friday, the day we buried my father. I will be flying to Germany on Wednesday to attend his funeral, returning home with Agnes on Saturday.

With all of this, I find myself temporarily unable to concentrate and produce the sort of posts you have come to expect and ... hopefully ... enjoy, and in any case, I will not be able to count on regular Internet connectivity from Wednesday through Saturday. Therefore, I'll be taking a break from blogging until Monday, February 9th. I apologize for the interruption, but I don't think my heart and brain would be in it this week, even if I were here. If you're with me on Facebook, check there ... I'll try to post an occasional short note as I have the opportunity and the connectivity.

Have a good day and a great week, and I'll see you in this space again next Monday.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Yes, I'm officially tired of winter.

I left Pittsburgh yesterday ahead of an expected four-to-eight inches of snow and two-tenths of an inch of ice. Ugh. One of the things about living in NoVa is that we don't get all that much snow. When we get it, we really get it, but on the whole, we don't see that much white stuff in most years. Since I grew up in Western Pennsylvania, I got used to snow and White Christmases at an early age, and I have to say that I sometimes miss it (except the driving part, of course). Here's a classic poem about the beauty and mystery of a snow-covered landscape ...


Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


I came back from Pittsburgh yesterday afternoon, and will be flying to Germany on Wednesday to attend the funeral of Agnes's father, who died on Friday night. I actually do have miles to go before I sleep.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

I'm on the road in Pittsburgh, so I don't have time to do the usual news summary this week. Don't worry ... you'll get over it.

No theme to this week's selection of cartoons ... just a random collection of funny stuff to help take your mind off the economy, Congress, the "Islamic State," the IRS, and the return of preventable diseases ...

This one just seems to make sense, somehow ...

This one, too ...

I must have missed this one the day my friend Katherine gave me her patented whirlwind tour of London ...

I'm surprised my grandchildren haven't pulled this one on me ...

Agnes has the same problem ...

There are a lot of acceptable forms of ID ...

I've had dates like this ...

Starting early ...

Modern-day board meetings ...

This one is just so obvious ...

And there you have it ... the last Cartoon Saturday and the last blog post for January, 2015. The year is 1/12 over, and already I'm tired of it.

Have a good day and a great weekend. See you tomorrow for Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

More Great Moments in Editing

Well, here I am in my home town of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I love the city, but you can keep the weather, which has been a pretty darned sucky mix of rain, freezing rain, sleet, and snow. Yesterday, we had the visitation for my father at the funeral home, and I was amazed and gratified at the number of people who came to pay their respects despite the miserable weather. The funeral mass will be later this morning, and then we can get on with the business of living lives that honor Dad's memory.

And so, how about a new collection of editorial gems to round out a yucky January ...

Well, what could possibly go wrong? ...

I guess he won't be coming that second time ...

I might have done it, myself ...

I'm glad they worked that out ...

I don't know about you, but this is not what I'd wave to get rid of bats ...

Such a deal! ...

I wonder if we could get a few of these signs posted around Washington ...

Well, it's called a fire truck, after all ...

Well, yes ...

That's not quite how I'd describe it, but ...

You'd think there would be a lot of jobs out there for English majors, wouldn't you?

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo

Warning Signs

Your government is for sale, many of your elected officials are utterly ignorant of basic scientific and economic facts, and for many of your fellow citizens, unrestricted freedom is more important than common sense and civic responsibility.  Here are a few warning signs that you may consider posting as needed ... particularly as we approach the presidential election season:

No need to thank me. It's a service we curmudgeons gladly provide.

Have a good day. I will not be posting tomorrow, but the Editorial Gems Friday, Cartoon Saturday, and Poetry Sunday posts are already written and will appear as usual (if perhaps a bit later in the day). See you then.

Bilbo