Tuesday, May 25, 2010

So, What Do You Read?

One of the problems we have in this country today is that not enough people read.

Well, let me rephrase that. One of the problems we have in this country today is that not enough people read things other than People magazine or the latest vampire novel.

In particular, not enough people read newspapers, which are slowly dying out as people get their news in thirty-second sound bites on television or online. That's unfortunate, because the newspapers, for all their faults and editorial slants, at least provide enough column space to give you more detail and information than a typical television news spot.

We still have some newspapers, some of them with a national - and even international - readership. But who reads which newspapers? Here's a guide to the sorts of people who read the major newspapers...

The Wall Street Journal
is read by people who run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but can't understand The New York Times and love pie charts.

The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country if they could find the time and didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't sure who's running the country and don't care so long as they get a seat on the train.

The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but want baseball scores.

The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or if anyone is running it, but they oppose everything that they stand for.

The International Herald Tribune is read by people who don't have time to read too many other papers while they move from country to country to avoid extradition.

The National Enquirer is read by people in line at the grocery store.

Local papers are read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.

So, what do you read? And why?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



The Mistress of the Dark said...

Pittsburgh Post Gazette, The Valley Independent is our local...The Trib isn't too bad.

KKTSews said...

We get home delivery of the NYT, WSJ, Financial Times and local paper. We obviously are very confused about who's running what country! With the Columbus Dispatch as the local paper, it appears they believe the world revolves around OSU Football and Jim Tressel.

Leslie David said...

The Washington Post--online.

Mrs. Geezerette said...

You forgot to mention the Chicago Tribune which is now the most run down newspaper in the country.

It is a ghost of what it used to be. We have dropped our subscription to it.

Chrissy said...

I loved this post - sent it to friends throughout the country!

The local papers in Northeast ohio aren't even worth wrapping fish carcasses in ... so sad - I don't know who could possibly care that much about Lebron...or sports in general. And a few of the Cleveland Plain Dealers writers made some ridiculous blanket statements about bloggers that turned me away in a heartbeat.

allenwoodhaven said...

I've heard many a local paper referred to as "Yesterday's news tomorrow!" That said, I read local (NJ) papers in print and the Washington Post on-line. (I think that's where you get many of your comics for Cartoon Saturday...)

Mike said...

St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The only St. Louis daily left.