The Solution

Flying is a pain in the neck (and other body parts), we all know that. It used to be an adventure, if not actually fun, but that was before the airlines nickeled and dimed you to death, flights were packed like sardines, and you had to go through enough layers of security that you felt like you were entitled to a conjugal visit at the end.

And much of it is because of people who believe their deity or their political outlook - or both - gives them the right and duty to blow you up. Because of these loons, we now all have to suffer inconveniences and ignominies large and small just to be able to fly from point A to point B. New security technologies are always being introduced, and the homicidal morons are always working to figure out ways around them.

The latest thing is the whole-body scanner that, like an x-ray, allows security personnel to literally see beneath your clothes. Predictably, civil libertarians and others object to this as an unwarranted invasion of privacy, although I personally consider it being preferable to being blown up by some idiot looking for his 72 dark-eyed virgins.

All that aside, how do we keep the bad guys with their exploding shoes and underwear off our airplanes so that we can travel to visit our grandchildren and conduct our business with fear only of bankruptcy, and not of our lives?

As it happens, my friend Bob has sent me a wonderful idea: a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may be carrying.

It would be a win-win for everyone - no whiny B.S. about racial profiling, no long and expensive trials, and the only person killed would be the one who wanted to die in the first place. Justice would be quick and swift. Case closed!

This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion, followed shortly by an announcement over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers -- a seat is now available on flight number..."

I'm forwarding this to the TSA. It makes more sense than making little old ladies take off their shoes and hapless business travelers x-ray their laptops. And it gives us one less idiot to worry about.

Thanks, Bob! I hope your idea catches on.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo