Sunday, June 05, 2011

Guest Post

Hi, there! It's me again ... Nessa ... remember, I'm the dog that lives with Bilbo and Agnes. I know I haven't been posting for a while, but it's getting to be summer, and that means I have lots of other things to do. There are more people out walking past the house who need to be barked at, and more animals trespassing in my yard that have to be chased off. A good dog's work is never done and I am, of course, a good dog.

Yesterday I was out in the yard helping Bilbo with this gardening thing of his. I'm not sure exactly what gardening is, but it seems to involve him getting dirty and sweating a lot and complaining about stiff joints. I try to help him with the stiff joints thing by making sure he gets lots of exercise throwing my frisbee for me and taking me for walks and stuff, but he just seems sometimes to prefer getting dirty and sweating and complaining. Go figure.

One of the things I can't figure out about gardening is this whole thing about fertilizer. I think Bilbo's a pretty smart guy (hey, he keeps me around, and he married Agnes, right?), but sometimes I just don't understand him. He said he needed fertilizer and came back from the store with bags and bags of manure. Now, I may not be the smartest puppy in the litter, but even I know what manure is ... it's just poop with a good sales rep. Now, why would Bilbo spend good money that he could use on food and toys and treats for me to buy poop? I can give him all the poop he wants, but he gets mad at me when I put in in the yard, ready for him to use ... he just puts it in little bags and dumps it in the trash. What's up with that?

Oh, well ...

Another thing I can't figure is the difference between plants and weeds. They look pretty much the same to me and I don't feel any difference when I roll around on them, but Bilbo spends a lot of time he could use throwing balls for me to chase in pulling up one plant, but not another, because one of them is a weed. It seems to me that a weed is nothing more than a plant that's growing where you don't want it. Or maybe it's just something useless, like cats. Who knows?

Well, I'd write more, but it looks like Bilbo is ready to go back outside to do more gardening, and I know he'll need help (and guarding and supervision). And I have more poop to offer him so he can stop wasting his money on manure. To listen to him, he gets enough of it for free from some store called Congress, anyhow.

Bilbo will be back tomorrow. Have a good day.




Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think you're really smart, but don't tell Bilbo, he'll just get jealous.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

OMG Nessa I love you!!

too funny. My dog Izzy, is a choc. lab as well. Sadly for me she is very smart like Nessa. Seriously it's scary. or maybe I'm just really dumb.....hmmm don't answer that.

Mike said...

Woofwoof woof. Woofwooofwoof woof!

Bilbo said...

Jean-Luc - Don't worry ... I'm a good dog, and I wouldn't want to make Bilbo jealous.

Margaret - Awww, thanks! BTW, does Izzy know any cute guy Chocolate Labs...?

Mike - You should have paid more attention during your DSL (Dog as a Second Language) classes ... anyone could tell you that it's not grammatically correct to use a three-o "wooof" between two two-o "woofs." Good effort, though.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Always nice to see Nessa around :)