Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sing It, Baby!

Three-for-three on this week so far. If it were a fish, I'd have thrown it back.

But life goes on and so does my search for something funny to distract me. How about some actual country song titles? I've seen many versions of this list over the years, and Miss Cellania ran this one today ... here you go ...

1. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye!

2. I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.

3. If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life,Then Number Two On You.

4. I Sold A Car To A Guy Who Stole My Girl, But It Don’t Run - So We’re Even.

5. Mamma Get A Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head).

6. If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me.

7. She’s Actin’ Single and I’m Drinkin’ Doubles.

8. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

9. I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You.

10. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.

11. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim’s Getting’ Better.

12. I Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win.

13. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight.

14. I’m So Miserable Without You; It’s like Having You Here.

15. I’ve Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin’ On My Back And Cryin’ Over You.

16. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now.

17. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love Jesus.

18. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.

19. Please Bypass This Heart.

20. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.

21. She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft.

22. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.

23. I'd Rather Have a Bottle In Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy (this may not actually be a real song, but it's a real quote, attributed to many people including W. C. Fields, Tom Waits, and Dorothy Parker).

24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.

25. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life.

Yee, hah!

Have a good day. Sing the body electric. Or wind or solar or gas, whatever. More thoughts tomorrow.



bandit said...

She changed her name from Black to Brown and mine from Brown to Blue.

Twang Twang

Mike said...

I think I'll go bowling.