Sunday, June 12, 2011

Unfortunate Juxtapositions

Years ago we used to play an interesting word game in which we took the Yellow Pages of the phone directory, opened it up to a random page, and saw what interesting comments were being made by the guide words at the top of the page. For instance, you might find a page headed "Lawyer-Laxatives" or "Fishing-Fitness." Or worse.

A similar game can be played with real, yet unfortunate sets of names from your local newspaper's wedding announcements, as we see in the following examples ...

One thinks these young ladies will not be hyphenating their married names ...

And ...

And ...

And ...

Sometimes, you can just play it for laughs ...

This is where you could end up if you don't space out your children properly, and have too many hyperactive toddlers running around the house at the same time ...

Prospective in-laws on both sides sometimes feel that their son or daughter is getting the brown end of the matrimonial stick ...

Someone unlikely to find a post-wedding job as a receptionist at the local brewery ...

Sometimes, though, things could work out for the positive. A dermatologist might not object to a particular name ...

Although such a name might result from unfortunate nocturnal habits earlier in life ...

This last one reminds me of one of the best, and yet simplest graffiti I ever saw: one of the major figures in the history of Pennsylvania was James A. Beaver, a former governor and president of Penn State University who is remembered in many place names across the state (Beaver, Beaver Falls, Beaver Creek, Beaver county, etc). While I was attending Penn State back in the Dark Ages, a new women's physical education facility was named the Mary Beaver White Building in honor of one of the members of the famous Beaver family. One night, a mischievous graffiti artist came out of the darkness and spray-painted a few small lines such that the sun rose the next morning on the Mary "Beaver" White Building.

Well, I thought it was funny. If illegal. Never mind.

It looks like it will be another hot day here in Northern Virginia. Drink lots of water, use sunscreen, wear a hat, and leave a comment for good old Bilbo.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

6 comments:

John said...

You were lucky they didn't catch you and kick you out of school ...

Amanda said...

*sigh* I'm one of those people who will never hyphenate my married name.

Mike said...

What happens when a hyphen marries another hyphen? If that happened two time in a row you could end up with a sentence for a last name.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Ahh these gave me a much needed laugh. Thanks for making my day..BTW...meant to email you about that fried rice recipe!

Chrissy said...

Haa...I just read these to my husband. Now we're giggling like little school girls.

KathyA said...

This is a real hoot! A great way to start my morning.

PS I'm thinking up others as I sit here -- endless possibilities! :)

PPS Figures you'd use quotation marks rather than just being totally crude. How literary of you!! :)

PPPS You think the carpet matched the drapes?