Saturday, December 31, 2011

And the Winner Is ...

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!

The people - or, at least, the quasi-representative segment of them composed of readers of this blog - have spoken, and we are now ready to proclaim the winner of Bilbo's first annual

Ass Clown of the Year Award!

First, the also-rans:

In a tie for Eighth Place, with one vote each, we have GOP presidential wannabe Mitt Romney

and bizarre singer (and also winner of the Kim Kardashian Shortest Marriage Award) Sinead O'Connor (who should win something for that asinine tattoo, also):

In Seventh Place with four votes is annoying GOP gadfly and presidential wannabe Newt Gingrich:

Edging out Mr Gingrich for Sixth Place with five votes is the National Rifle Association for its strong defense of the sanctity of deadly weapons:

Fifth Place, with 14 votes, goes to celebrity train wreck Lindsay Lohan for her fine performance as a role model for young women everywhere:

Fourth Place goes to professional celebrity Kim Kardashian, who netted 16 votes for her unparalleled skill at being famous for ... uh ... being famous:

Finishing Third with 22 votes is The Democratic Party, for its complete disorganization and utter inability to present a coherent alternative to rampaging hyperconservatism:

The runners up, in a tie for Second Place with 43 votes each are the United States Congress (for its complete abdication of responsibility for addressing the country's problems, tight focus on partisan posturing, and blatant sellout to special interests)

and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, for its skillful combination of extreme religious bigotry and shameless misogyny:

And now, with appropriate fanfare, it gives me great pleasure to announce the first annual Ass Clown of the Year! With a magnificent First Place showing of 62 votes - nearly the same as the total of second- and third-place finishers - the award goes to

The Republican Party

for its cynical and hypocritical sellout to big business and wealthy campaign contributors, it's complete disregard for any points of view other than its own, it's craven willingness to kiss the backsides of its most extreme members, and its willingness to bring the government to a complete halt to impose its conservative agenda on the nation:

Thanks to all of you who voted! At least here, your vote counts for something.

Have a good day, and raise a glass to our Ass Clown of the Year, the GOP. If nothing else, they make a great bad example for effective statesmanship.

Stay tuned for Cartoon Saturday, coming up in just a few minutes ...



allenwoodhaven said...

The GOP is thrilled to have won something and wants to use its mandate to go further into the realms of ass clownery.

Don't believe me? Just wait and watch. There is an old adage: nothing is idiot (or in the case ass clown) proof because they keep making better idiots (or ass clowns).

Happy New Year Bilbo! Thanks for a great year of blogs.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

The winner...never would have guessed the GOP

~ giggles sarcastically~

Happy New Year's Eve :)