Sunday, December 25, 2011

Guest Post - Merry Canine Christmas, 2011!

Hey there, again! It's me, Nessa!

Merry Christmas!

Bilbo and Agnes are still asleep, and so I thought I'd get on the keyboard and share some of my thoughts with you while they rest up for the busy day that's coming up. I should do that, too (rest up, I mean), but we dogs have our jobs to do, too ... and that means making sure that this Santa character who breaks into houses at Christmas time gets chased off. I know he usually leaves stuff, rather than stealing it, but nobody comes into this house without my hysterical barking and sniff of approval. Those reindeer are just lucky I can't get up onto the roof ...

I told you last year what we dogs think about at Christmas time. You can go back and read it here if you're new to this blog since then ... go ahead and read while I go downstairs and check out the chimney again. I'll be back.

Okay, I'm back. No sign of that Santa person. Good thing, too ... somehow I think that if I barked loud enough to scare him off, it would wake up Bilbo and Agnes, and even though I was doing the right thing, I might get yelled at and told to be quiet. It's not easy being a watchful dog sometimes.

But let's get back to this Christmas thing. I haven't seen anything in the past year that would make me change my mind about it. You humans are still acting dumb (Bilbo thinks some of you are so dumb that he has a special award for it ... he even let me vote!). I'm not sure about this Congress that Bilbo keeps ranting about ... to hear him talk, it seems to be about as useless as a bunch of cats, except that cats can catch mice and this Congress thing doesn't look like it could even catch a cold.

The whole thing about giving each other gifts is pretty nice, and I like it (especially since Agnes always makes sure that I get a nice big bone or a new toy or something, too), but why do you have to wait all year to be nice to each other for a couple of days? It seems to me that you ought to be able to be nice all year long. What's the matter ... are you waiting for someone to pat you on the head and say, "Good Person!"?

And then there's this dumb thing about whether or not you should celebrate Christmas at all. Instead of thinking about this as a time when you have an excuse to act the way you should all year, lots of you spend time arguing about whether or not it's unconstitutional (whatever that means) to have a nativity scene, or even use the word Christmas. Did you know that in Bilbo's home town of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, they used to call it Sparkle Season instead of Christmas? How stupid is that? And don't talk about how the season is going to the dogs ... you don't see us acting that dumb.

So from this old dog's perspective, here's what you should do today:

Be nice to each other.

Make sure your children have a happy day full of wonder and joy and love ... they'll have a lot of years ahead to get bitter and cynical on their own.

Be safe and happy, even if it's only for one day a year.

And chase a cat or a squirrel or something. It may not be as satisfying as chasing one of those Congress persons, but you probably won't go to jail for it.

On behalf of all dogs everywhere, have a very merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season. And remember us while you're at it ... like I told you last year at this time, you may not love each other except this one time a year, but you can always count on us to love you, no matter what.




Duckbutt said...

Merry Christmas, Nessa, Bilbo, and Agnes! Be happy today.

Mydog Fred is off duty today. Peaches and Shorty (cats) are always off duty.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Merry Christmas, Bilbo; and also to your family.

Joyeux Noel!

Mike said...

Nessa, we have geese that hang out at a pond across the street. I may go chase a couple of them in your honor.

Nessa said...

Duckbutt - Fred can probably use the day off, if he's carrying those cats all the time.

Angelique - Thanks! I'll pass it on to Bilbo and Agnes!

Mike - Just make sure you eat what you catch in my honor.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Merry Sparklemas Nessa, from another Pittsburgher that has no clue where they came up with that insanity!