Well, Dear Readers, we've come down to the final Ass Clown award for 2023. As years go, this one was so full of amazingly talented ass clowns that I could probably have presented this award daily, rather than two or three times a month (plus the occasional special award), and still have had deserving recipients left over. We've presented 28 awards so far this year, so let's get to the 29th and last.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, as trumpets blare flatulently and streamers of shredded documents flutter from above, we announce that the award for
The On-Crack Ass Clown for December, 2023
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is presented to
Der Furor
I realize that presenting this award to someone who has already won 15 times* could be viewed as simply plucking low-hanging fruit, but in the 12 years I've been presenting these awards**, no one has done more to stand out from the other chunks swirling in the cesspool of ass-clownery. Today's award is presented largely as a result of this utterly insane holiday message Der Furor has inflicted on readers trying to enjoy the peace and goodwill of the season:
Perhaps it's just me, but "may they rot in Hell" (all in caps, no less) is not generally considered a greeting appropriate for the holiday season, and certainly not an appropriate sentiment for a person seeking election to the presidency once again. And this is but one example of the selfish, angry drivel this mediocre man keeps pumping out daily to a mystifyingly adoring audience.
I cannot understand why any rational person could possibly think someone who could write a diatribe like this should be elected to any office of responsibility ... much less to the presidency.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the On-Crack Ass Clown for 2023, our last awardee of the year, is Der Furor - a man who clearly belongs in a mental institution rather than the White House.
Have a good day, and be sure to cast your votes for the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year. Voting ends at midnight on Sunday, December 31st (New Year's Eve), and the winner will be announced in this space on January 1st, 2024. Vote early, vote often, and come back tomorrow for our final Cartoon Saturday of 2023! More thoughts then.
In the meantime, here are the current top five leaders in the Ass Clown of the Year voting ... make sure your voice is heard - get those votes in by midnight, December 31st!!
The Republican Party/GOP - 435
MAGAts - 400
Rudy Giuliani - 330
Moms for Liberty - 280
Greg Abbott - 190
The lowest vote-getter at this point is Kanye West, with 1.
Bilbo
* 10 individual awards (including a lifetime achievement award that has since been rescinded), 4 shared awards, and Ass Clown of the Year for 2015)
** Der Furor was the very first Ass Clown awardee, back on April 17, 2011 ... back when I was still willing to actually defile pen and paper by writing his name. Or my computer by typing it. Same difference.
3 comments:
50 votes for Rudy G, please.
Let's move Moms for Liberty up a notch, 101 votes.
A fine choice! He truly is mentally ill. I'd hate to be the psych screener or psychiatrist who had to commit him. A case for commitment could be made just from public knowledge and, no doubt, there's private knowledge that is worse. My mental health career experience shows that eventually you have to stop listening to what deranged people say. The less attention given to their rants the better. That's unfortunately so difficult in his case.
Ass-clown of the Year? Hmmm. There are too many good choices! Trump enablers of any sort are as bad as Der Furor himself. 100 votes for each.
Been busy so haven't voted yet. I have to catch up!
Rudy deserves 19 votes
Tucker Carlson - 5 votes
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