American Chinese Girl

Our granddaughter Leya has a birthday coming up next month, and so - as good grandparents will do - we asked her what she might like for her birthday. As she is now into the "American Girl" doll series, she said she would like to have this year's girl-of-the-year doll ("McKenna"), and several specific outfits for her (she showed us the right ones in the catalog, so we wouldn't make any mistakes).

And so it was that yesterday Agnes and I made the trek to the Tyson's Corner shopping center on the other side of town, and it's two-level, ultra-fancy American Girl store.

We had already bought matching American Girl "bitty baby" dolls for Leya and Elise last year, and our other granddaughter Marcy went through her American Girl doll phase, so we were pretty much aware of what to expect, but it's still an ... interesting ... experience to see the marketing wizardry and psychology that goes into the whole American Girl phenomenon. Oh, and there's the economics lesson, too. Here are a few candid observations about the American Girl doll thing:

1. We spent about 45 minutes in the store, during which time I found not a single item ... not one ... that was not made in China. There's a depressing lesson in economics to be found here.

2. We spent several hours bummelling around the mall, during which time we saw an amazing number of young girls carrying one ... and sometimes two ... American Girl dolls. As the larger dolls themselves cost an average of about $105, and the "bitty babies" about $50 (going up to $120 for the full "starter kit"), this represents a hefty investment for parents*.

3. The average outfit or "accessory package" for an American Girl doll costs between $18 and $35, with matching outfits available for the actual girl at commensurate prices. Depending on where you shop, you can get clothing for a real girl for prices like those.

4. The store includes a beauty salon for the dolls, as well as an actual doll hospital, which offers such treatments as "reattachment of head**," "new body (torso and limbs)***," and a complimentary "wellness exam."

Oy.

There was a time when dolls were a good deal simpler. At one time, Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy were the dolls everyone wanted ...

And things started going downhill with the advent of Barbie ... and Ken ... and the whole explosion of friends, outfits, accessories, cars, houses, movies, and all the other stuff that came with them ...

At one time, Raggedy Ann and Andy and Barbie and Ken were probably made in the US, too.

But things are a lot different now, and the doll of the hour is the American Girl ... who is actually a Chinese Girl, but that's not important to the real girl who wants one. Just to the American Parent whose job making those dolls is now located in a suburb of some unpronounceable Chinese city.

But anyhow ...

Leya will get her doll (from her mother) and the outfits (from her grandparents) and she'll have a wonderful time. And, eventually, she will learn parenting skills that do not involve carrying the baby by one leg.

And the Chinese economy will continue to boom.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo


* I was surprised to note that American Girl does not sell safes in which to store these valuable figures. But I'm sure that's coming eventually.


** This would be a useful service for Members of Congress, but would probably require an upcharge to cover the cost of extracting the head from the ass in the first place.


*** There are those of us who could use such a service ourselves. I'll take the early-20's torso with the six-pack abs, please.

Of Milestones, Millstones, and Things I've Never Done

In the course of our lives, we pass a number of milestones. Some are denoted by educational achievement, such as grade-school, high-school, or college graduation. Others are measured by professional advancement, such as military or corporate promotion. And then there's age.

The first milestone is our first birthday because, statistically, if you survive your first birthday, you are likely to survive to adulthood. The next is probably the age of 13, because you become a teenager - the first step on the road to adulthood. Twenty-one comes next, because it's the age at which we are considered to be legal adults. In the 1960's, the next milestone would have been age 30, when we automatically became untrustworthy ... because activist Jerry Rubin told us that we were never to trust anyone over that age. Actually, the next milestone is 50 - the half-century point and the height of our traditional professional and personal middle-age.

And then there's 60 - which is where I am today.

Yes, Dear Readers, today Bilbo does the ol' Humpty-Dumpty over the wall of the Big Six-Oh.

It's said that 60 is the new 50, which is the new 40 ... an indication that we're living longer and, at least until the upcoming election, better than ever. I certainly don't feel old, other than the usual litany of aches and pains. Sixty is still a milestone on the road of life, rather than a millstone around my neck. It's an opportunity to take stock of things:

I have a beautiful wife, three great and successful children, and five wonderful grandchildren that I love and of whom I am enormously proud. I'm reasonably well-respected on a professional level, have lots of great friends, and am able to dance well enough that ladies don't run away screaming when I approach. I still have a job (at least, until the government gets done screwing around with the economy).

On the downside, I'm a good deal more grouchy than I used to be. I don't like wasting time on self-centered or incompetent ass clowns, because I have a growing sense of how important time is. I have higher expectations of my elected officials, but expect less. I'm still willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but less likely to give it as long as before ... and much more likely to get ugly if I think I'm getting jerked around.

A while back, and in honor of her 35th birthday, Irregular Tammie posted on her blog a list of 35 things she'd never done. I thought that was a neat idea, but I don't have enough time to generate a list of 60 things I've never done (although the list is, by definition, virtually endless), but here are five things that, at age 60, I've never done:

1. Smoked. Anything. I never saw the point. After all, firefighters will tell you that most people who die in fires die of ... smoke inhalation. Why on earth would you do it on purpose? Plus there's the mess and the bad breath.

2. Taken any illegal substances. Life is good enough without pharmacological enhancement.

3. Visited anywhere in Asia or Africa. I've been all over Western Europe, but never made it to the other continents (I give myself partial credit for South America on the basis of a temporary duty trip to Panama a long time ago).

4. Been arrested (if we don't count traffic tickets).

5. Danced a waltz with Edyta Sliwinska (this one is on my bucket list).

Well, now I'm rambling. I'll just quit now, with this observation: it doesn't matter how old you are ... it's how you use the years that mark the milestones on your way to that age. I've made many mistakes in my life, and I've done things and made choices I'd do differently if I had the opportunity ... but we all have.

On balance, I'm a very happy fellow, looking forward to the coming years.

Except for the 2012 elections.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Yes, today is my birthday...I've made it through another year, added another growth ring, whatever. I'm steadily marching toward being an officially old guy, but I don't feel old (at least, most of the time). What are some of the things that help keep me young?

* Three grown, successful children, of whom I'm enormously proud.

* The world's three most beautiful grandchildren (although I tend to feel about three times my age after they've spent a day playing with grandpa).

* A beautiful and loving wife.

* The joy of good friends.

* New opportunities every day to learn new things.

* Books, books and more books. If the world's authors stopped publishing tomorrow, I'd still be set for life trying to read through everything we have on the endless shelves at home...but I sure hope they don't stop!

* Glorious sunrises and sunsets.

* (Of course) Ballroom dancing...the world's most underappreciated sport. But that's just as well...if more men understood the pleasure of a sport you play holding beautiful ladies in elegant clothes close to your body, I'd have a lot more competition!

But this year, there's a downside to my birthday - it happens to coincide with Election Day. And while I look forward to performing my duty as a citizen of this great nation to cast my vote, it's been tough getting through the last few weeks of hysterical, information-free political ads on TV and radio. And those in addition to the bales of printed attack ads that have choked my mailbox, the automated phone calls that I (automatically and immediately) hang up on, and the herds of earnest young political workers who pass out flyers door-to-door and at the Metro station...few of whom really appear to be able to answer detailed questions about where their candidates stand on particular issues. When I finally push the big, red VOTE button on the machine in an hour or so, it will be with a sense of duty completed, mixed with happiness that the hoopla is over.

At least until 2008, when it will be worse.

But so much for that - I'm going to enjoy this birthday and look forward to many more in the future!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo