Cartoon Saturday

As the old movie title would tell us, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world ...

Senator Ted Cruz was booed off the stage at the Republican National Convention for refusing to endorse Donald Trump for president; a British nuclear submarine was damaged in a "glancing collision" with a merchant vessel; nine people were murdered in a suspected terror attack at a shopping center in Munich, Germany; religious authorities in Saudi Arabia have issued a fatwa (religious decree) against Pokemon Go, declaring that the popular game is "un-Islamic" ... the Saudi government has denied that a fatwa has been issued, although a general anti-Pokemon fatwa (#21758) was issued 15 years ago, and still appears on the list of fatwas at the clerical website; and Russian athletes may be banned altogether from the Rio Olympics next month as a result of a huge doping scandal.

We need something to take our minds off the misery, so this week, let's get with some physical activity and check out a collection of cartoons related to sports of all kinds ...

The rules keep evolving ...

Designated gondoleer ...

Signals need to be clear and unambiguous to be useful ...

They also need to cover all the important messages that might be sent ...

It's probably time to update the old songs ...

How to get the fighter really angry ...

Galley slaves, 2016 ...

Yes, that would be me ...

Well, yes ... yes he does ...

Baseball is a game of statistics, some more useful than others ...

And it's the weekend. At least here in NoVa, it's much too hot to play baseball, or pretty much anything else, outside, so it's a good day to catch up on housecleaning, binge-watch your favorite show, or whatever.

Have a good day and a great weekend, drink lots of water, stay cool, and come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Yes, Dear Readers, it's that time again - when we celebrate some of the stranger moments in questionable editing and weird (sometimes even intentionally bizarre) signage. This week, we're featuring signs dealing with meat and fish, so let's get right to it ...

Today's militant Evangelicals can't be too careful when selecting their entrees ...

Be sure to defrost before wearing ...

It works for me, too ...

I think I'll pass ...

When you need a sandwich for a formal occasion ...

I don't need that much turkey, either, but it is an election year ...

Probably a little hard on the teeth ...

I hope they're cheap ...

I think it will need to be cooked for a long time ...

Reverend Hannibal Lecter, presiding ...

And there you've managed to get to the meat of the issue.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

What Constitutes A Polite Society?

You've almost certainly heard this famous quote from the story "Beyond This Horizon" by science fiction author Ray Bradbury ...

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."

There's been some discussion over exactly what Bradbury meant to say with this line in the context of the story, but there's no doubt at all that it is taken at face value by present-day gun rights advocates, particularly those who support the right to carry firearms, openly or concealed, at all times and in all places. In a 2000 essay titled "Armed Citizens are Responsible Citizens," William Levinson wrote,

     "The common perception is that armed societies were polite because an act of rudeness might evolve into a duel, as portrayed in Dumas' The Three Musketeers. The real reason, though, is the mindset and psychology that come with responsible weapon ownership [emphasis in the original]. The knight's sword was a symbol of his duty to protect weaker members of society and behave chivalrously, e.g. with respect and courtesy to women, elderly people, and so on. The sword was the soul of the Japanese samurai, a constant reminder of the samurai's duty and code of behavior. The sword was a symbol of taking responsibility, not only for one's self, but usually for others. 
     "The modern American who buys a firearm for self-protection is saying, "I recognize that life involves danger, and by owning a weapon I accept my responsibility to protect myself and those who are entitled to my protection-- my wife/husband, children, parents, and perhaps friends and neighbors."

The events of the last few weeks lead me to question Mr Levinson's concept of "the mindset and psychology that come with responsible gun ownership" because responsibility is something that nowadays plays second fiddle to freedom. I would argue that it is not responsible to openly carry a weapon into a volatile situation where violence might break out at any time ... the responsible thing to do would be to avoid such a situation if at all possible, or at least to not take actions that might make it worse. Comparing an open-carry advocate to a chivalrous knight or a samurai seems a bit of a stretch.

Obviously, advocates of gun ownership and ostentatious open carry would disagree.

But the issue is, to me, not one of whether or not packing heat everywhere is a good idea ... although I don't think it is. The issue is what makes a society polite.

I grew up in a time in which people in general were much more polite and respectful toward one another than they are today. My parents and the parents of most of my friends placed a great deal of emphasis on personal probity and good manners, and raised us to do the same. Nowadays, it seems that civility and good manners are considered marks of weakness. You don't build "street cred" by being polite ... you build it by getting in everyone's face. One need only look at the behavior of Donald Trump to see how low our standards of personal decorum have dropped.

In his 1998 book Civility: Manners, Morals, and the Etiquette of Democracy, Stephen L. Carter wrote that

"Civility requires that we express ourselves in ways that demonstrate our respect for others."

 Good luck finding that civility in the current overheated presidential campaign, where respectful and polite discourse vanished long ago. We are preparing to choose a president based on our relative evaluation of the brutal ad hominem attacks that have taken the place of detailed discussion of important issues of policy.

In a polite society, people strongly disagree with each other, but treat each other with dignity and respect. We can dislike the ideas but be civil toward the person expressing them. No more.

I have been accused of hypocrisy on this topic because, while advocating civility and politeness, I present my Ass Clown awards in this blog. While my intent is not mean-spirited, the presentation of such an award isn't especially civil, and perhaps I should work toward morphing those awards into something more satirically pointed and less vulgar. I guess I'll work on that.

But to get back to my original point, from which I think I've wandered ... let me just wrap this up by suggesting that if we need to pack heat to enforce politeness, we're screwed. We just need to treat each other better. We need people to show that they're of a better ... caliber.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for our second July iteration of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The "Lighter" Side of Campaign 2016

The ongoing circus of the 2016 presidential campaign is depressing to everyone except, of course, comedians and cartoonists. Here are a few of the better election-related bits I've collected so far ...

 I feel the same way ...

I think I've found my candidate ...

One of the untold stories of the Constitutional Convention ...

How about considering a few of the alternative candidates? ...

True dat ...

Every day it sounds like more and more of a plan ...

Finally, here's the suggestion I heartily endorse for improving the quality of this year's campaign, not that it has the least chance of being adopted ...

And there's still three and a half months to go until the election. Oy.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Solving the Squirrel Problem*

A mid-sized city in the heartland of America had a problem - it was overrun with squirrels. The problem was particularly acute for the city's churches which, in addition to the simple fact of the huge number of squirrels, were faced with the additional problem of dealing with them in a religiously appropriate and moral fashion. Here's how some of the denominations approached the problem ...

The Presbyterians called a meeting to discuss what to do. After much prayer and introspection, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. The squirrels stayed.

At the Baptist Church, the squirrels tended to congregate in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to install a water slide so the squirrels would drown themselves in the baptismal pool. Squirrels, however, know instinctively how to swim. They liked the slide, and twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopal Church decided that they should not harm any of God's creatures, so they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

The Catholics baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

The rabbi at the local Jewish Synagogue set a trap and caught one squirrel. He circumcised the squirrel and let him go, and they haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.

The Mormons sent pairs of missionaries to talk to each squirrel. The squirrels were gone the next day.

At the local mosque, the imam welcomed the squirrels, but had to create two new prayer areas so the male and female squirrels could pray separately.

The Evangelicals were so thrilled at the thought of the squirrels coming to Jesus that they gathered together and shouted "Hallelujah!!" over and over. The noise was so great it scared the squirrels away. Problem solved.

Amen.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Thanks to my old and somewhat twisted friend Ken, who sent me the original joke on which this post is based.

Musical Monday

The Republican National Convention starts in Cleveland today. I think we need to call on Bobby McFerrin to help get us through the week ...

Sadly, I'm still worried. But it's a cute song, anyhow ... who else would rhyme "late" and "litigate?"

News Flash: I have decided to combine my Poetry Sunday and Musical Monday posts down to a single day. Starting next month, Sundays will alternate between Poetry and Music in the same way that Fridays now alternate between the Editorial Gems and the Ass Clown Awards. While both topics are reasonably popular, the statistics on readership and number of comments suggest that it might be better to dedicate one day and alternate the topics ... plus, it will give me four days each week, rather than three, to bloviate about other things. This is no small advantage in an election year.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Now that I'm retired, a quiet life is what I want. I want to do the things I enjoy doing, to watch my grandchildren grow up, to write my blog and the occasional letter, to read, and to tend my little garden. What I desire in life isn't a properly boiled egg ... although this poem by Baron Wormser makes the contemplation of that egg seem pretty interesting ...

A Quiet Life 

What a person desires in life
    is a properly boiled egg.
This isn’t as easy as it seems.
There must be gas and a stove,
    the gas requires pipelines, mastodon drills,
    banks that dispense the lozenge of capital.
There must be a pot, the product of mines
    and furnaces and factories,
    of dim early mornings and night-owl shifts,
    of women in kerchiefs and men with
    sweat-soaked hair.
Then water, the stuff of clouds and skies
    and God knows what causes it to happen.
There seems always too much or too little
    of it and more pipelines, meters, pumping
    stations, towers, tanks.
And salt-a miracle of the first order,
    the ace in any argument for God.
Only God could have imagined from
    nothingness the pang of salt.
Political peace too. It should be quiet
    when one eats an egg. No political hoodlums
    knocking down doors, no lieutenants who are
    ticked off at their scheming girlfriends and
    take it out on you, no dictators
    posing as tribunes.
It should be quiet, so quiet you can hear
    the chicken, a creature usually mocked as a type
    of fool, a cluck chained to the chore of her body.
Listen, she is there, pecking at a bit of grain
    that came from nowhere.


I think I may have a nice boiled egg for breakfast, but without all the ruminations about how it got to the table. If I think too long, my coffee will get cold.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Musical Monday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

I'm afraid to ask what's next ...

At least 84 people were murdered and more than 200 injured, many critically, in the French city of Nice when a man drove a huge truck through streets crowded with people celebrating the Bastille Day holiday; an attempted military coup in Turkey has left more than 160 people dead and thousands of others under arrest; in The Hague, the Permanent Court of Arbitration has ruled decisively against China's aggressive claims in the South China Sea, and China has said it will ignore the ruling; new British Prime Minister Teresa May has named former London mayor and political gadfly Boris Johnson - who once wrote a limerick about the President of Turkey having sex with a goat - as the new Foreign Minister; and the online game Pokemon Go has become so popular that in Washington, DC, officials were forced to ask people not to play the game at Arlington National Cemetery and the National Holocaust Museum.

If the present is this screwed up, what is the future going to be like? This week's cartoons take a look at the world of those who ought to know ... fortune tellers and gurus.

It's always important for professionals to have the latest and best equipment to serve their customers ...

I hope this won't be my life in focus ...

Makes about as much sense as most paid fortunes ...

Sometimes the future is easy to predict ...

What the well-equipped fortune teller has on her smart phone ...

Well, why not? ...

Madame Obviouso finds another mark ...

At newer banks, it's hard to find a human teller of any kind ...

For sure! ...

After hours, down at the bar ...

And that's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday ... I hope it helped you recover - at least partially - from the rigors of the past week. And I hope that wherever you are, you have air conditioning. Or at least, a breeze. Here in NoVa, it's going to be hotter than the proverbial two-dollar pistol, just when I need to get some serious yard work done. Hmmm ... or maybe I should just stay in and write a few more blog posts, whattaya think? 

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2016

It hardly seems right that it's only the 15th of the month, and we're ready to announce the

Left Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2015

July is one of those months with five Fridays, and they fall such that we will have not two, but three Ass Clown awards. Lucky for us there's no shortage of worthy candidates. And so it is that with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets, we announce our Left Cheek Ass Clown for the month - 

Associate Supreme Court Justice
Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Judges at every level - like the rest of us - have their own political beliefs and ideas, but judges in general, and Supreme Court justices in particular, have a duty to subordinate their personal beliefs and prejudices to the impartial administration of the law. During the past week, Justice Ginsberg engaged in an unnecessary and unprofessional war of words with presumptive GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump, in which she has cast very specific doubts on his ability to govern and his fitness to serve as president. These doubts are not original to Justice Ginsberg, are not news, and are matters of concern to every thinking American. But a Supreme Court justice may at some time be required to rule on the actions or policies of the president, and the sort of remarks made by Justice Ginsberg about Mr Trump cast her ability to be an impartial arbiter of such cases into doubt. 

It's bad enough to have an insult-hurling buffoon like Donald Trump as a candidate for president. It's worse when a distinguished jurist makes unnecessary comments that call her judicial impartiality into question. As a highly critical editorial in Wednesday's Washington Post said,

"However valid her comments may have been, though, and however in keeping with her known political bent, they were still much, much better left unsaid by a member of the Supreme Court. There’s a good reason the Code of Conduct for United States Judges flatly states that a “judge should not . . . publicly endorse or oppose a candidate for public office.” Politicization, real or perceived, undermines public faith in the impartiality of the courts. No doubt this restriction requires judges, and justices, to muzzle themselves and, to a certain extent, to pretend they either do or do not think various things that they obviously do or do not believe. As the saying goes, however, “'hypocrisy is the compliment vice pays to virtue.'”

For her injudicious and unprofessional comments about Donald Trump, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is named our Left Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2016.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... you know you need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Afterword: I wrote the original draft of this post on Wednesday, July 13th. On Thursday, July 14th, Justice Ginsburg apologized for her remarks, saying: "On reflection, my recent remarks in response to press inquiries were ill-advised and I regret making them. Judges should avoid commenting on a candidate for public office. In the future I will be more circumspect." I give her credit for the apology, but still believe she should have known better. The award stands. 

The Things That Matter

One of my favorite songs is a John Denver ditty from back in the 70's called "Late Night Radio," which includes this line -

"I turn the dial a little bit past one-oh-one point two,
In time to catch the news and see who's shootin' who"

Those lines are more relevant now than ever before. What's wrong with our country that these things keep happening?

I think the best explanation of why things are the way they are was written in a 1972 memoir by Dennis Smith. Report from Engine Company 82 describes Smith's experiences - by turns dramatic, funny, and horrifying - as a career firefighter in New York City. Commenting on demonstrators who were pelting his crew with rocks as they tried to fight a fire in a New York slum, he wrote:

"I used to believe that people who threw rocks at firemen were motivated by conditions - the lower depths of American society. I used to believe that the fundamental problems were housing and education ... but I don't believe that anymore ... The disease is much more seriously latent, more pernicious than uncaring landlords, or bureaucratic, apathetic school officials. The malignancy lies in the guts of humankind at all levels. We have unlearned the value of a human life."

There are a lot of "explanations" for why we're stuck in this insane cesspool of violence. It's easy to spread the blame, and commentators from across the political spectrum are busy doing it. Depending on your political persuasion, the fault lies with the ready availability and glorification of powerful weapons, ultraviolent movies and television shows, parents who don't teach their children right from wrong, people who value individual freedom over responsibility to the community, religious and social bigotry, or any of a thousand other excuses. But the real reason is the one Dennis Smith identified more than 40 years ago - we have unlearned the value of a human life.

A human life. Not black or white or asian or hispanic. Human.

And I don't know what else to say.

Have a good day. And be careful. I need you all safe and sound.

More thoughts tomorrow, when we salute the Left Cheek Ass Clown for July.

Bilbo