The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2016

A new month is here, and we're just about 90 days out from the 2016 presidential election. Happily, the election comes after Halloween, so perhaps we might see some of the presidential wannabes dressing up like principled statesmen in whom we can trust.

Aren't fantasies wonderful?

Anyhow, it's a new month and it's the Friday on which we name our

Right-Cheek Ass Clown for August, 2016

Although my conservative friends routinely accuse me of a dastardly and unconscionable liberal bias*, when I turn to the world of politics to bestow this award, I really do try to bestow it on the most deserving ass clowns, regardless of party. In my opinion, which is the only one that counts, since it's my blog, the most amazing sustained levels of ass clownery are coming this season from the GOP, which was the party to which I belonged for many years. The party as a whole is tearing itself apart and degenerating into a scrum of noisy people who believe in the importance of rights over responsibilities, the most insane of conspiracy theories, and the fundamental evil of those with whom they disagree. And the GOP bears the responsibility for creating and nurturing the atmosphere which has produced one of the most unqualified and toxic presidential candidates in American history, who is hereby presented his sixth Ass Clown Award,

GOP Presidential Candidate

Donald Trump

Each time it appears that the bar cannot be lowered any more, Mr Trump comes up with some new, staggeringly-inappropriate and unpresidential comment. This past week it came in a speech in which he said,

"Hillary wants to abolish — essentially abolish the Second Amendment. By the way, and if she gets to pick … if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I don’t know."

In case you didn't quite follow that, it can be interpreted as Mr Trump suggesting that "Second Amendment [read, armed] people" should take violent action against his political opponent.

Of course, Mr Trump and his supporters would like you to believe that that's not what he said, or that he was making a joke, or that the Evil Liberal Media^TM is ganging up on him and twisting his words ... although he seems to be doing a fine job of twisting the language on his own.

For yet another example of distasteful, irresponsible language that continues to demonstrate his lack of fitness for the presidency, Donald Trump is awarded the Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award for August, 2016 ... his sixth award overall and the second in a row**. As an American, I'm ashamed of the picture this presents of us to the world.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. I don't know about you, but I could use a good laugh.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* I really am conservative in that I believe in a sound and prudent government that is as small as possible, consistent with what we as a nation expect it to do for us; however, I am more liberal in social matters. Sue me, it's my blog.

** Two weeks ago he shared the On-Crack Ass Clown Award for July with Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

The Lighter Side of Campaign 2016, Part 2

Back on July 20th I published a post with some of the best cartoons and get-out-the-vote signs I'd seen so far for the current presidential scrum. But new ones are coming every day, and so - as a public service - here's a new collection:

It's a good campaign slogan, anyway ...

Now that I think about it, a Conan-Trump ticket makes sense. They have the same basic goals, but at least Conan has an implementable policy agenda ...

A combination of candidates and voting strategy. I could get behind this one ...

Well, yes ... although some suck more than others ...

Clever! ...

This candidate looks better every day ...

Palin-Cthulhu works for me, too ...

I find your lack of faith in this ticket ... disturbing ...

Have a good day. More thoughts to keep your mind off the election coming tomorrow, when we name the Right Cheek Ass Clown for August.

Bilbo

What We Get from Newspapers

If you are one of my friends on Facebook, you may have seen my post of this quote from essayist Anne Fadiman* a few days ago:

"People who read a 'paper' paper have to flip through a lot of international news before they get to what they think they're interested in. They at least glance at the headlines, and maybe they read a few stories they hadn't expected to. More and more, online news sources will give them only what they wanted in advance ... Custom filters are going to make Americans even more ignorant than they already are, which is plenty."

As I watch the depressing circus that now passes for political discourse in this country, that quote resonates now more than ever.

The rise of the Internet and the ready availability of 198,736 specialized cable and radio news channels means that people don't need to be bothered by news and opinions that don't agree with their preconceived notions, and don't need to go through the daily routine of paging through a newspaper.

Now that I'm retired, I have time to read the newspaper every morning. While I was working, the carrier often didn't deliver the paper until after I'd already left for work, which meant that most of my news intake was online, or via television or the radio. Those sources are okay, but the ability to hold a newspaper in your hands and read words printed on the page challenges you to absorb their meaning and, as Ms Fadiman notes, to be exposed to other articles you paged by to get where you wanted to go. You can make the argument that the same is true as you scroll through a website, but I think that high-speed scrolling while dodging embedded ads and click-bait is no substitute for the scanning of a physical page before you turn it.

My local newspaper is The Washington Post, which is frequently dismissed by conservatives** as a simplistic mouthpiece for wild-eyed radical leftist commiepinkoratbastards. Experience shows that it runs articles and opinion pieces from across the political spectrum***, although its editorial positions tend to be centrist to a bit left of center ... which enrages those whose information sources of choice lean more to Fox News or Inforwars.com.

I don't think too many people read newspapers any more. Circulation for most daily newspapers - at least those that don't show a naked lady on page 3 - has been declining as more and more people depend on radio, cable television, and the Internet for their information. Newspaper readership correlates to higher levels of education, but the levels of readership for all education levels is declining, as shown by this chart from the Pew Research Center^† ...

So, what's my point?

I think we'd be better off as a country if we read more newspapers, rather than getting our information from broadcast or online media, where the information tends to be a mile wide and an inch deep. We can learn more from a longer article that's backed by research than we can from a 30-second TV news spot or a short online piece. And they cover all the deadly sins, including wrath^†† ...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* She's the daughter of author Clifton Fadiman, who wrote the silly, yet wonderfully erudite children's book Wally the Wordworm, which should be read to every child.

** Particularly those who don't read it.

*** George Will and Charles Krauthammer are regular contributors, and are hardly left-wingers.

† Which is taken from this larger Pew study of newspaper statistics.

†† Although it must be said that wrath is well-represented in the comments on any online article.

The Shirky Principle

I read an interesting article by Miss Cellania on Mental Floss the other day: 10 Rules, Laws, and Theorems You Should Know. All of the ten are interesting, but one stood out for me: The Shirkey Principle, which is:

“Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution.”

According to The Shirky Principle, organizations tend to become so vested in solutions to their problems that they can inadvertently perpetuate those problems.

Hmmm ...

Even the name of the principle works in this context, because Congress lately tends to shirk its responsibilities ... and when it does occasionally yawn, stretch, scratch it's collective armpit, and decide to do something, it's something important and meaningful, like naming a post office or designating National Kumquat Day.

But perhaps that's better, at least until the adults take over again.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Guest Post

Hey, there! It's me again, Clara, Bilbo and Agnes's granddog.

It's been a while since I've had a chance to post, mostly because I'm a little hyper and they try to keep me away from anything breakable or edible, which includes the computer*. And so it'll take me a while to type this, because I'm out of practice and I have to be quiet so Bilbo doesn't know what I'm doing. Help me out, okay ... don't blow the whistle 'til I'm done. 

I've been listening to Bilbo and his friends talk about something called an election. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I think it's how you humans decide who will be the alpha dog in your pack. Like our system, yours seems to involve a lot of butt-sniffing, followed by a lot of snarling and snapping.

Unlike our system, though, once we settle on our alpha dog, everything stays peaceful until the time comes to pick a new one, and we just focus on playing and barking at delivery people and reproducing and all the other things dogs do. You guys snarl and snap at your alpha dog all the time, and get mad when he tries to do the things you picked him to do. What's up with that?

I think it has to do with something called politics. I'm not sure what a politics is, but I think it's the rules on how you pick the alpha dog to take over your Big Pack**, and what you let him do once he*** takes over. If the alpha dog that won the contest belongs to your own pack, you'll mostly be happy and follow his lead. But people who belong to a different pack, the people whose dog didn't win, just keep snarling and snapping and trying to keep the new alpha dog from doing anything worthwhile.

I'm just a dog, but I think this is pretty stupid. If your packs just fight with each other - even after you've picked a new alpha dog - how do you get anything done? From what Bilbo says, it looks like you don't get anything done, because a lot of you believe it's more important for your own pack to win than it is to cooperate with other packs to make things better for everyone.

From what I can tell, the two humans who most want to be your alpha dog are called Trump and Clinton^†. It looks like all Trump wants to do is bite everybody, even the members of his own pack. Trust me ... nobody wants a dog that does nothing but bite^††. And a lot of you seem to think that Clinton is a bad dog who ought to be locked up in the pound.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm a dog and don't have to worry about elections and politics and Trumps and Clintons. Bilbo is my alpha dog and he likes me, even when I do things he doesn't like ... like head-butt him in the crotch when he comes to visit, or try to lick his face all the time.

Come to think of it, the old head-butt in the crotch is what that Trump dog seems to specialize in, while the Clinton dog tries to be nice and lick your face.

Maybe this isn't so hard after all.

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back tomorrow. Until then, woof!

Clara

* Hey, I'm a dog ... everything is edible, dontcha know!

** Not a "Super Pack," which seems to be something different.

*** Sorry ... I know you humans want the females to lead sometimes, but we stick with the males. It works for us.

† Whatever happened to good dog names like "Rex" and "Fido," eh?

††  Unless he owns a junkyard.

Musical Sunday

If you arrived here looking for the Poetry Sunday feature, you probably missed my announcement that, effective today, I have decided to combine Poetry Sunday and Musical Monday into a single feature on alternate Sundays. Poetry will return in this space one week from today; in the meantime, let's listen to two songs dealing with the pain of love. First up is this classic from Tori Amos ...

Followed by another classic by the late Jim Croce ...

I like these two songs ... I just hope the combination of the two didn't make you cross with me.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Welcome to August ...

In Kenya, a man chopped off his wife's hands because he was angry that she'd failed to bear any children; a new security flaw has been discovered in chip-enabled credit cards, which are supposed to be more secure than the older magnetic-stripe cards; a father in Georgia was arrested after his 15-month-old twin daughters died when he left them in a hot car; gun sales in America are soaring - good news for those concerned about the serious nationwide shortage of firearms; and in India, at least a dozen people were killed when gunmen opened fire at a crowded market.

And there's still nearly three months to go until the election. We need to get to the cartoons, ASAP!

This week, our theme is reading and writing ...

What happens when you're a person of letters ...

The untold backstory ...

The first draft Mr Poe decided not to use ...

Agnes and I have a library like this ...

... and think this would be a great addition to it ...

I think he'll be waiting a long time ...

... and so will they ...

Three riffs on a common theme ...

and ...

and finally ...

And there you have it: your first Cartoon Saturday for the month of August, 2016. More entertaining, one hopes, than the political news.

It looks like it's going to be a hot and muggy weekend here in NoVa, which means getting the yard work done early in the morning and late in the afternoon, and hiding inside with the AC the rest of the time. I'll probably have to brave the searing temperatures above the charcoal grill this evening, but at least the end result will be worth it.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow when Musical Sunday premieres. See you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Welcome to our first collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for August ...

I wonder what the other language is that he speaks ...

And I always thought that affairs were carried out quietly ...

Fryers? ...

I would have thought the ballroom, but what do I know? ...

And pregnancy ...

I don't want to know the other purpose ...

And I don't want to know the back story ...

What's a little fiddling among friends? ...

Well, what else would you expect to find there? ...

Hmmm ...

And that's it for Great Moments in Editing and Signage. Be sure to come back tomorrow for the first Cartoon Saturday of the new month ... it's one of your guilty pleasures.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Don't Get Sick

Now that I'm retired, I'm faced with all the malarkey that goes along with my status as an increasingly senior citizen. Social Security is one part of it, although I have to say that as long as you are a US citizen with well-documented earnings and can do everything online, dealing with Social Security is relatively painless. Unfortunately, if you have a spouse who is a Permanent Resident Alien (green card-holder), he/she must do virtually everything in person at a Social Security office, which is not fun*.

But the worst thing about retirement and advancing age is making sure you are properly cared for health-wise. It is illegal, of course, under the Affordable Care Act** not to have health insurance, but that is not to say that securing such insurance is easy or - despite the name of the law - affordable.

For those of you who have not yet had to worry about all this, here's a cautionary tale ...

First of all, along with Social Security comes Medicare, the federal government's national health insurance plan for the elderly. It has four parts: A, B, C, and D. In order to get "supplemental" health insurance that covers things Medicare won't (such as illness), you must subscribe to parts A and B. This is because all the other supplemental insurers want to bill the government first, and so they want to make sure you're square with the Feds. Part C - Medicare Advantage - involves additional fees and paperwork, and Part D covers Prescription Drugs*** and also has additional fees.

Let's talk about "supplemental" insurance for a minute.

Because the federal government is notoriously cheap and slow about paying doctors who accept Medicare patients, an increasing number of doctors do not accept patients whose only insurance is Medicare ... hence the need for "supplemental" insurance at an additional fee. When I was employed, Agnes and I enjoyed health care under an HMO with which we were very satisfied, and so I contacted that HMO again to try to register for their Medicare Supplement program.

Well ...

Because nothing with health care is ever easy, they sent us a package of forms and explanatory information that the mailman (excuse me ... letter carrier) needed a forklift to deliver^†. The application form was seven pages long (each page in triplicate), and began by asking me which of nine different programs I wanted to enroll in. This decision required reading 6,839 pages of directions which explained the monthly premium for each program, what it covered and didn't cover, and how much extra co-payment every conceivable sort of doctor's visit would require. I eventually made my selection^††, and proceeded to the next six pages of the application, most of which were dedicated to making sure I'd identified any other insurance I already had in addition to Medicare, so that the largest possible number of organizations could share in the billing should I ever get sick.

I then signed my name, attesting that everything I'd put into the application was true and correct, and that if it wasn't, I'd get my ailments back. I mailed the application to the HMO (they did, generously enough, include a postage-free return envelope), and am now waiting for the Green Eyeshade Brigade to render a decision. 

In the meantime, my health plan is simple: don't get sick.

Have a good day. Eat lots of apples. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Had Dante known about this, he'd have made it one of the circles of Hell, along with the DMV (or your state equivalent).

** AKA "Obamacare."

*** Which are almost as expensive as printer ink.

† Just kidding. But it was close.

†† A key component of which involved coin-flipping.

Things Are Better Than You Think

If you listen to the apocalyptic rhetoric coming out of Donald Trump and the GOP, you'd think the world was coming to an end, with armed gangs of Islamic terrorists roaming the streets and murdering people at will, armed gangs of Mexicans stealing American jobs when they aren't busy raping American citizens, and hordes of screaming, wild-eyed liberals frantic to give away to the unwashed undeserving everything Hard-Working Americans^TM have struggled to build.

The reality looks a bit different, although you won't find it on Faux News or any of the GOP ads.

That's not to say that there aren't things wrong in America, but that the picture is not so bleak as the screaming heads would have you believe.

I call your attention to this interesting recent article by Peter Diamandis: Why the World Is Better Than You Think in 10 Powerful Charts. Mr Diamandis writes,

"We humans are wired to pay 10x more attention to negative news than positive news. Being able to rapidly notice and pay attention to negative news (like a predator or a dangerous fire) was an evolutionary advantage to keep you alive on the savannas of Africa millions of years ago. Today, we still pay more attention to negative news, and the news media knows this. They take advantage of it to drive our eyeballs to their advertisers. Typically, good news networks fail as businesses. It's not that the news media is lying — it's just not a balanced view of what's going on in the world."

I'd never thought about the evolutionary advantage of noticing negatives first, and how that might play into the way our news media operate. The old news editor's admonition that "if it bleeds, it leads" is the product of millions of years of evolution.

So, why are things better than we're being led to believe? The charts Mr Diamandis includes in his article spell them out. Here are two examples:

Other charts document the decline in the number of teenage pregnancies in the US, the decline in the US violent crime rate*, and the declining percentage of income spent on food in the United States**.

There are two charts, though, that seem to me to provide counterintuitive information:

Although the average number of years of education is going up steadily, modern Americans can be abysmally stupid, particularly when deeply held religious beliefs contradict established science. And while literacy rates are going up around the world, it seems that fewer and fewer people in this country actually read widely and absorb a broad range of ideas ... the idea of the modern media echo chamber applies.

Anyway, things are better than many people would have you believe. Think about that when you parse the information that the bad news cheerleaders are giving you. And if you need another chart to help put this in perspective, check out this diagram by Jessica Hagy from her wonderful blog, Indexed ...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Despite the recent spate of mass shootings, the violent crime rate is actually going down. Obviously, the reasons for this depend on the political leanings of the observer: the gun lobby tells us it's because criminals are afraid of retaliatory action by an armed victim, while others would suggest that we're becoming more law-abiding. Take your pick.

** This seems counterintuitive here in NoVa, where prices for fresh meats, fruits, and vegetables are often stratospheric.