Musical Monday

Let's start the week on a lively note with Alice Francis down at the St James Ballroom ...

Have a good day ... swing on!!

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Fathers' Day, 2016

If you were looking for Poetry Sunday, don’t despair – because it's Father's Day and I have my traditional (if updated) tribute to fathers today, you won't get your poetry fix this week. My granddaughter thinks Poetry Sunday is lame, anyhow, so I guess at least one of you won't be disappointed. So let's talk about fathers ...

Today is Fathers’ Day, the day we honor the man who contributed half of our chromosomes and many of the life lessons that shaped us into who we are.

Fathers don’t always get the same degree of respect that mothers do. We work in design, rather than production, after all, and don’t earn the credit that mothers do for going through nine months of pregnancy followed by months of sleepless nights and years of worry. And truth be told, many fathers don’t earn that respect. For all too many men, fatherhood is an unfortunate side effect of good sex, and a child is an impediment to the enjoyment of life. For many men, fathering a lot of children by a lot of women is the imagined sign of a manly stud ... not of lives betrayed by a thoughtless ass who thinks with his man parts* instead of his brain and heart.

Luckily, though, there are many good men out there trying their best to be good fathers. It’s not an easy job, and not everyone does it successfully ... but fortunately, enough do.

I have often reflected back on the course of my life, and I've come to the conclusion I’ve been a much better grandfather than I was a father. This is probably normal. You’ve seen more of life, and had more experiences – good and bad – to share. If you’re the grandfather, you get to be the gentle, wise, let-‘em-do-what-they-want fellow the children love to see, rather than the grouchy, tired father who has to put bread on the table, crack the whip, and enforce the discipline. You get all the joy of holding and loving the children with none of the negatives ... when the baby needs changing, for instance, there's none of that messy fuss - you just give her back to her mother. What's not to like?

I think that, from the father's perspective, we have our children too early in life. We're still learning how to be adults, and all of a sudden we're fathers, responsible for teaching our children all the lessons of life that we haven't even learned yet. Our children grow up as much in spite of our mistakes as because of our excellence in parenting.

When you get to be a father, you look at your own father differently. It was Mark Twain who supposedly once said, "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

It's true.

A good father, as I came in time to understand, is a gift beyond all price. The gold standard for fatherhood is, of course, my own father. He fought the Nazis** in the skies over World War II Europe, ran his own business, raised four children and buried one, and cared for mom through the long years of misery as Alzheimer's gradually destroyed the mind of the dynamic and witty woman he loved. Dad left us more than a year ago, and I no longer get to hear his jokes and stories and learn the lessons he still had to teach, yet he remains the man to whom I owe whatever shreds of honor, decency, and ... well ... manhood that I can claim.

This was the man who battled for our freedom in 1944 ...

And here he is at the Mount Vernon Wine Festival in 2002, surrounded by admiring ladies (from left to right: our friends Susan and Nadja, our daughter Yasmin, and Agnes) ...

Here he is with my brother Mark and I, on the occasion of Mark's retirement from the Navy (our brother Paul served in the Army, but wasn't able to be there) ...

And here he is in December of 2013 at his 90th birthday party in Pittsburgh, surrounded by the friends and family members who came out to honor him in spite of some really ghastly winter weather ...

I'd like to think I made him satisfied, if not proud.

If you’d like to know more about the life of this wonderful man, you can read my remembrance here.

It's politically correct (bordering on mandatory) nowadays to say that a child can grow up just fine in a household with same-sex "parents," but you'll never be able to convince me that it's the same as being raised by a father and a mother who love each other, treat each other with dignity and respect, set a good example, teach their gender-specific life lessons, and subordinate their own dreams and desires to the momentous task of raising a brand new human being.

Have a good day. Honor your father. And if you're a father, be a good one ... preferably a better one than I was. Your children ... and indeed, the future ... are depending on you.

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

*  As Missandei would say. If you're into "Game of Thrones," you'll get it.

** The real ones, the ones that murdered millions of innocent people and destroyed most of Europe, not the imaginary ones to which stupid people in this country compare their political opponents.

Cartoon Saturday

I'm on vacation, but I know you need your Cartoon Saturday fix, so here is a selection of cartoons about social networking ...

It goes back farther than we thought ...

It's not easy coming up with stupid memes all day long ...

I can see where that would have been a problem ...

21st century childhood ...

"For real!", as my granddaughter Leya would say ...

It's important to keep that status updated ...

Sad, but true ...

And that's how it was, dadgummit! ...

Why it's important to use current photos for your profile ...

Well, it beats "off with his head!" ...

And that's it for this week's Cartoon Saturday. Hope you enjoyed it!

I'll be back live in a little while ... in the meantime, check for the routine posts.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming, if irregularly.

Bilbo

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2016

How the time flies! It's time to focus the Spotlight of Shame on

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2016

and the winner is ...

Senator David Perdue

Senator Purdue, a Republican, is the junior Senator from Georgia. On June 10th, in an address to the Faith and Freedom Coalition’s "Road to Majority" conference, Senator Purdue offered a prayer for President Obama based on verse 8 of the biblical Psalm 109: "Let his days be few and let another take his office." The Senator probably thought that was a good tongue-in-cheek slap at the President, and one that would appeal to the conservative religious right*, but he neglected to note that it was one verse out of a longer sequence ... Verses 7-15**: 

7: When he shall be judged, let him be condemned: and let his prayer become sin.

8: Let his days be few; and let another take his office.

9: Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.

10: Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg: let them seek their bread also out of their desolate places.

11: Let the extortioner catch all that he hath; and let the strangers spoil his labour.

12: Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children.

13: Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let their name be blotted out.

14: Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the LORD; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.

15: Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

While I doubt that Senator Perdue actually wants the First Lady to be a widow, intemperate speech such as this is inappropriate for an elected official. In a statement issued after criticism of his remarks erupted, the Senator's office said,

“(Senator Purdue) in no way wishes harm to our president and everyone in the room understood that.” The statement went on to accuse the media of “pushing a narrative to create controversy.”

It seems to me that Senator Purdue did a fine job of creating the controversy himself.

For his insensitive and inappropriate use of a threatening biblical verse in reference to the President - a verse which he either didn't understand or ... worse ... understood all too well - Senator David Perdue is named our Left Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2016. Lemme hear you say hallelujah!

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, in which we will not threaten anyone.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* It should be noted that this verse is used so often in conservative circles that it has become known as "The Obama Prayer," which doesn't make it any less offensive.

** In the King James Version of the Bible.

Musical Monday

Agnes and I are getting set to go on our long-awaited vacation! We'll be on the road for a while, but I will have periodic Internet connectivity and will try to post occasionally. Your regular posts (Fridays thru Mondays) are already written and scheduled to publish, and I'll post all the usual pictures and stories when we return. In the meantime, I thought this classic Willy Nelson song was apropos for the day ...

Have a good day, and check back periodically. More ... and more detailed ... thoughts when we get back.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Over the Memorial Day weekend Agnes and I drove up to my hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to attend the high school graduation of my niece Elena and enjoy a modest family reunion. My sister and her family still live in Pittsburgh, one of my brothers lives not too far away, and we still have cousins in the 'burgh as well.

I have often remarked to Agnes that Pittsburgh seems a lot nicer place since I left, way back in 1973. The death of the steel industry was a mixed blessing, depressing the economy but allowing the city to be reborn and cleaned up as a center for medicine, banking, and high-tech. And as I get older, I find a lot more positive than negative memories about one of the worst cities in the world in which to drive.

But I digress.

In today's poem, Richard Newman talks about the bittersweetness of going home ...

Home

by Richard Newman

I like my hometown more
the longer I'm away.
Memories, like trick candles,
flicker as I pull in.

The longer I've been away
the less I recognize. Stars
flicker as I pull in.
Where are the woods and fields?

I barely recognize the stars.
Home is where
my boyhood woods and fields
now offer beautiful new homes.

Home is where they said
Leave now so we might miss you someday.
The beautiful new homes say
We're better off since you left.

We might miss you someday—
yes, that would be my wish.
Home is where they're better off since you left.
Blow into town and blow right out.

Yes, that would be my wish-
that I liked my hometown more.
Blow through town. Blow out
memories like trick candles.


Have a good day. Go home when you can, even if it's in your head.

See you tomorrow for Musical Monday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Can you believe we're nearly halfway into June? Oy, vey ...

In Bangladesh, a Hindu priest was hacked to death, presumably by religious extremists; in Los Angeles, a buyer has come forward to purchase the iconic Playboy Mansion, which comes complete with live-in hedonist Hugh Hefner; Hillary Clinton became the presumptive Democratic Party candidate for president when a win in the Puerto Rico Democratic primary election put her one delegate over the number required to cinch a first-ballot nomination; Deshauna Barber, an Army reserve officer from Washington, DC, won the Miss USA contest in Las Vegas; and an Oregon man was boiled alive when he fell from a designated path into a 400-plus degree hot spring at Yellowstone National Park.

Because it seems as if every time I write a post that somehow involves sex, my statistics shoot up, I thought that it was time to dedicate a Cartoon Saturday to the dancing of the horizontal tango ...

No words necessary ...

Good question ...

It's important to always use the right terminology to set the mood ...

Mitosis is a sort of sex, after all ...

I think we've all known a Roger ...

Someone has been into the little blue birdseed ...

Safe sex ...

It's important to know what you're doing so that you don't get into unfortunate situations ...

It happens ...

The mortar, the merrier ...

And that's it for this week's sexy edition of Cartoon Saturday. I hope you enjoyed it.

Later this morning, Agnes and I will be headed off to attend the International Day Festival and Kindergarten graduation for our granddaughter Elise, followed by a stimulating day of working in the yard. At least the weather is supposed to be good, with bright sunshine to help me find and remove all the weeds. Oy.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

The hits just keep on coming ...

I wonder about the missing nights ...

Do you suppose he sampled the product too often? ...

Appealing to a better class of scumbag ...

I'd hate to buy a dog and need to get it tuned up right away ...

Civility discounts ... what'll they think of next? ...

I think someone needs a new layout editor ...

Here, too ...

It's always difficult to make a decision when the menu is so large ...

Special for cannibals - Mondays only! ...

I wonder if this car belongs to the owner of "When In Rome" ...

Great moments in editing and signage ... just the way to round out your week.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, on Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo

Organization Chart

Last week I offered a quick review of an interesting new book by former CIA director Michael Hayden, Playing to the Edge. As good a book as it is, it suffered from the lack of a good organizational chart to show us how the CIA is organized ... as a public service, here is my attempt to fill that void. I hope it's not classified:

You're welcome.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow, when we look at the latest selection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

I Don't Think I'll Be Replying

I've written before about some of the bizarre spam that finds its way to my in-box. That was five years ago, and the situation has not improved. Here are some of the subject lines in my in-box this morning:

"Am I Your Dream Love?" - this one is from "AsianWomenOnline."

"Double Your Income in the Next 2 Weeks (Work from Home)"  - this one is an immediate reject because it uses an objectionable four-letter word - "work."

"Get the Lowest Rates on These Amazing Dental-Implants" - I get ads offering me good deals on breast implants, too.

"Miracle Bamboo Bra Wants to Hear from You!" - I literally don't know what to say about this one.

"Finally, Give Your Woman What She Wants" - I don't think they're talking about long-arm sewing machines or the latest upgrade to PhotoShop.

"Increase Your Sex Drive. Try Test X180 Ignite" - This one came from the same sender as the previous one.

"Get Erections Easily When You Want" - At my age, I thought an erection was the process the Japanese use to select their government representatives.

"Sex Like Your Friends Talk About Can Be Yours!" - My friends don't talk about sex, so I don't think an "extra strength male enhancement solution" would be worth it.

"Many Large Settlements Awarded for Failed Incontinence Surgery" - TMI.

"Adult Diapers Can Be Discrete and Comfortable" - Thanks for sharing, particularly in the context of the previous e-mail, but it's still TMI.

Well, at least today's spam crop didn't feature any of those can't-pass-it-up deals on cemetery plots or cremation services that start arriving once you hit the big six-oh.

Have a good day. Don't click. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo