Friday, November 10, 2017

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


And away we go ...

If only it worked ...


Horse ovaries? ...


That's what I look for in a real estate broker ...


The gift for the person who has everything ...


I'm not sure whether to fire the editor or the typesetter ...


I'd never have guessed! I wonder who women chose ...


Well, there's inflation for you ...


I don't think I'll use these napkins for Thanksgiving dinner ...


"Overzealous" is right ...


I hope they were careful with that saw ...


Your latest batch of great moments in editing ... I hope you enjoyed them.

Come back tomorrow for the latest iteration of Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Oh, Poo, Revisited


India is one definitely one of the most bizarre nations on earth. On the one hand, it has a space program and a booming high-technology sector*. On the other hand, its government is working hard to get Indians to stop pooping outdoors.

You may recall that three years ago, I wrote a post about a major Indian government program called "Poo2Loo" that uses clever songs and animated cartoons with dancing poop to try to convince Indians, who are seriously short of public toilets (and of indoor plumbing in many areas) to stop relieving themselves at will in public places. The Poo2Loo campaign invested millions of dollars** to convince Indians that they really ought to do their business in appropriately private locations.

Which brings me to this article from last Sunday's Washington Post: India Turns to Public Shaming to Get People to Use Its 52 Million New Toilets. Yes, Dear Readers, the Poo2Loo campaign having not quite squeezed out*** its goal of getting Indians to quit defecating in public, "teams of government employees and volunteer 'motivators' roam villages to publicly shame those who relieve themselves in the open," such as this poor fellow, whose post-relief wash-up bucket was seized and broken by a local poop patrol, and who was presented with a rose as a peace offering ...


In some areas, according to the article, "... people without toilets risk having their welfare benefits taken away and can be barred from running for public office."

Hmm ... if people who are full of crap can be barred from running for office, perhaps India - without knowing it - is on to something. I wish I'd thought about this a year ago.

Have a good day. Poop in designated places to avoid embarrassment.

More thoughts tomorrow, when we unveil the latest collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. See you then.

Bilbo

* Your favorite help desk and telephone service center is probably in India, as are many of the online scammers looking to separate you from your money and your data.

** According to the article, the US Agency for International Development has also pledged $2 million annually and introduced ranking systems to trigger “(sanitation) competition between cities," and the World Bank has also offered a $1.5 billion loan to help encourage public sanitation efforts.

*** Sorry.

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Legal Question


Perhaps one of my readers who is a lawyer can answer this for me ...

Earlier this year, we were involved in a civil court proceeding which, unfortunately, did not go the way we expected it would. In fact, we were astounded at the outcome which, in view of the evidence, made no sense. In the aftermath of the trial I learned an interesting and disconcerting thing when I called the office of the county Clerk of Court to request a copy of the transcript: there is no record of the trial testimony unless one of the parties to the affair pays to have it recorded. And not only that, even if such a record is made, there is no requirement that it be submitted to the court to be added to the official record of the trial. You can order a copy from the company that was hired to do the transcription, but at huge cost ... this on top of whatever the recorder was paid in the first place.

I don't know if this is a peculiarity of Virginia law and procedure or if it applies in other states as well, but I think it's awful. Without an official documentary record of the proceedings - by which I mean a verbatim record of the testimony and conduct of the trial, prepared by a disinterested court-employed or court-appointed recorder - how do we later reconstruct what happened and assess the basis for appeal? If one of the parties paid someone to make the recording, what guarantee is there that the recording is accurate?

So, all you attorneys out there ... how is it in states other than Virginia? I'm curious*.

Have a good day. More thoughts (and maybe other questions) tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Which rhymes with "furious," but that's not important now.

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Election Day


Today is election day here in Virginia and across the country. Here in the Old Dominion, we will vote for, among other positions, a new Governor and Lieutenant Governor (they run separately). I have already cast my vote through "In-Person Absentee Balloting*," authorized because I will again be working as an election officer at a local precinct.

If you are not registered to vote, shame on you.

If you are registered to vote, but do not go out and do your civic duty, shame on you.

If you are registered to vote, and your vote is governed by a visceral hatred for one side or the other, rather than a careful consideration of the individual candidates' and their party's positions on the key issues of the day, shame on you.

Politics is (are?) distasteful, but our right to vote is a right that many people around the world don't have. It's your voice. If you don't use it, I don't feel the need to listen to anything you have to say on the issues.

Get out and do your duty.


Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Reason 4a.

Monday, November 06, 2017

Dropping the F-Bomb


This editorial ran in the Washington Post on November 4th: "Is It Legal to Curse at Police? Hell, Yeah."

The editorial is based on an incident in which a local reporter dropped the "f-bomb" (twice) on a local police officer, who then threw him to the ground, pinned him, handcuffed him, and arrested him for "disorderly conduct and avoiding arrest," but not with "profanely curs(ing) ... in public," which is, in Fairfax County, a Class 4 Misdemeanor*.

Well, as far as I've observed around here, “if any person profanely curse or swear or be drunk in public, he shall be deemed guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor**,” Virginia could probably eliminate all income, property, and personal property taxes and still have plenty of money left over to help offset that $1.5 trillion deficit from the GOP tax reform plan, just from all the $250 fines on people cursing in public. And that's just from teenage conversations at the local mall.

Personally, I find the "f-bomb" to be pretty distasteful, although I have been known to drop it myself on occasions when I'm enraged beyond civility by the ass clownery of the moment. And it goes without saying that the reporter in this case is guilty of profoundly bad judgement (as well as poor linguistic manners).

So, Dear Readers, here's today's question: what's your favorite - and most civil - curse word? Does gosh-darn-it! or mother of pearl!*** or the like always work, or are there times when only the f-bomb will do? Leave a comment.

For more of my thoughts on cursing, read this post from back in August.

Have a good day, gosh darn it! More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Punishable by a fine of not more than $250.

** Fairfax County Code, §5-1-1.

*** A favorite of mine from W. C. Fields.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

Poetry Sunday


This year I'll be 66 years old ... not quite as superannuated as someone like Mike, but no spring chicken, either. That makes this poem mean all that much more to me ...

Fire
by Wyatt Townley

It's only the body
It's only a hip joint
It's just a bulging disc
It's only weather
It's only your heart
It's a shoulder who needs it
This happens all the time
It's very common
It's unusual
For people your age
For people your age
You're in great shape
Remarkable shape
It's nothing you did
The main thing is
It's temporary
It's only a doll
In a house that's burning.

It's only a doll/in a house that's burning. I guess that's as good a way to explain away the aches and pains as any.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, November 04, 2017

Cartoon Saturday


New month, new cartoons ...

A radicalized immigrant from Uzbekistan murdered eight persons and seriously injured many more when he drove a rented truck down a bike and jogging trail in New York City; Donald Trump, angry over the attack, said he believes the US justice system is "a joke and a laughingstock*;" the first two persons have been arrested in the ongoing inquiry into Russian meddling in the 2016 election; House GOP members have released details of their plan to revise the US tax system; and actor Kevin Spacey became the latest high-profile Hollywood figure caught up in the growing web of sexual harassment accusations.

Since so many political figures will probably be exercising their right to remain silent** over the coming months, I thought cartoons about mimes would be appropriate for this week.

Somehow, I don't think he's all that good ...


Taking translation to a new level ...


Sometimes, deer can be pretty crafty ...


It's not just a rule for Fight Club ...


Bug mimes ...


How mimes recognize their own ...


Final services for mimes can be awkward, as seen in the next two cartoons ...


and,


Well, what kind of vigil would you suggest? ...


Finally, this one seems appropriate for National Novel Writing Month ...


And that's it for our first collection of cartoons for November - all part of my ongoing campaign to take your mind off the misery of current events.

It's going to be a long weekend ... longer because we'll be turning our clocks back to Standard Time at bedtime tonight - don't forget!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, on Poetry Sunday. Be here.

Bilbo

* The White House Press Secretary denied he said it, despite the fact that his comments are widely available on video.

** Except for Donald Trump, who is totally unable to remain silent.

Friday, November 03, 2017

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2017


A new month brings new opportunities to dishonor prime examples of exquisite ass-clownery that surround us every day. It's always been hard to make a selection, but as the political environment heats up and our social discourse coarsens, it's getting more difficult all the time.

Nevertheless, I think this time - at least for me - the answer is clear. And so, Dear Readers, I announce my selectee for

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2017


Presidential Press Secretary
Sarah Huckabee Sanders


Having to defend the indefensible is a difficult job for anyone, but Ms Sanders has not only excelled in her role as spokesman for the Trump administration, but has exceeded all expectations of her ability to transcend the limits of honesty and believability.

On November 1st, Donald Trump, furious over the terror attack in New York City, angrily denounced the US justice system during a cabinet meeting, saying

"We need quick justice and we need strong justice — much quicker and much stronger than we have right now — because what we have right now is a joke, and it's a laughingstock."

When questioned at a press conference by CNN reporter Jim Acosta about Mr Trump's comment, Ms Sanders stated

"That's not what he said."

Considering that Mr Trump was captured on live video saying exactly what he said, Ms Sanders' comment easily meets the bar of expectation* for an Ass Clown award.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is named as the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for November, 2017. 

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Which isn't all that high, anyhow.

Thursday, November 02, 2017

National Novel Writing Month


I learned in the last few days, from various Facebook posts by my friends and from John's musings on his blog, that November is National Novel Writing Month.

I guess that means I should get my backside in gear and start writing. As I've noted here before, one of the things on my bucket list is to publish at least one book ... it's embarrassing after all these years to have several friends who are published authors while all I've gotten into print are two letters to the editor of different newspapers (one of which was so heavily edited before publication that it ended up saying pretty much the opposite of what I'd intended). Now that I'm retired, I'm sort of out of excuses about lack of time*, and I've got all these notebooks I've been keeping that are full of notes on plots and characters, so I guess it's time to settle down to work.


I tell you this so you won't worry if I miss a post here and there through the month ... my creative glands may start secreting unexpectedly, causing me to work on other than my blog (gasp!).

Okay, John, the game's afoot! Good luck!

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for the announcement of our Right-Cheek Ass Clown for November. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Although I sometimes feel like I'm busier now than I ever was, go figure.

Wednesday, November 01, 2017

Book Recommendations


Autumn appears to be here to stay, and with it shorter, colder days and longer, colder nights perfect for lounging in front of the fire, wrapped in one of Agnes's quilts, sipping hot cider and reading good books.

I did less recreational reading this past summer than I usually do because I've been reading extensively on the ongoing political circus and its accompanying social implications. But I have read several good books over the past few months, and I thought I'd pass on a couple of recommendations ...

Those of you who, like me, are military history buffs, will enjoy Giles Milton's fascinating book Churchill's Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, a history of the amazing group of odd, driven heroes who planned the ingenious, vicious unconventional warfare campaign against Hitler's Germany during World War II. Starting with virtually nothing but the far-out-of-the-box ideas of a couple of unprepossessing military men, a few brilliant women, and no resources, Britain developed what became the Special Operations Executive, a secret military department that spread across the British Isles, developed and fielded millions of devilish weapons, and helped to create the American Office of Special Services (OSS), the forerunner of today's CIA. This is a story every bit as exciting as any adventure fiction you'll read, although it's not for the squeamish - two major characters were the world's leading experts in silent killing, and the descriptions of the techniques they taught to thousands of guerrillas are truly horrifying in a time when we're used to the idea of killing from drones without getting our hands dirty. The story of the destruction of the all-but impregnable Norsk Hydro plant, vital to the Nazi effort to create an atomic bomb, is a nail-biting tale of courage in the face of impossible odds, and the guerrilla campaign in France that prevented the German 2nd SS Panzer Division "Das Reich" from responding in time to stop the Normandy landings showed how a small number of brave, determined men and women - well-equipped, motivated, and willing to die - could take on and humble a vast armored force is thrilling. Also worth noting is the years-long campaign of the traditional army, used to war as a "gentlemanly" conflict conducted according to "civilized" rules, to hamper the development of the dirty, "ungentlemanly" irregular forces that proved to be so effective. This is a great book for those interested in military history, and also for those who just love exciting tales of true-to-life adventure.

Turning to the fiction world, I can also recommend Stephen Baxter's The Massacre of Mankind, a sequel to the classic H.G. Wells science fiction novel The War of the Worlds. Set 14 years after the Martian invasion described by H.G. Wells, Baxter's story tells the story of the return of the Martian invaders, how humanity had prepared for their return, and how the Martians had adapted and changed their tactics as well. Many of the characters in the sequel are those who appeared in the original novel, although now they have names (which, in the original, many didn't). This is an exciting, well-plotted, and well-researched novel that imagines a very different world at the turn of the last century - a world where, because of the Martian invasion, the First World War took a very different turn that resulted in some unexpected alliances. It works both as science fiction and as alternative history - you can compare it to the wonderful Worldwar series by Harry Turtledove, which I also recommend highly.

What do you recommend? Leave a comment so that I have more to explore on those long, dreary winter days.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo