The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2024

March grinds on as we grimly prepare ourselves for the ever-increasing levels of election year buffoonery. Endless pleas for money from office-seekers compete for our attention with angry, dystopian imagery pushed by a party that has no defensible platform on which to run. Much of the shrill shouting comes from the spokesmen (and spokeswomen) handsomely paid to debase themselves in the service of the Velveeta Voldemort, and that is why I have selected as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2024

Steven Cheung

Mr Cheung is a professional political advisor for Republican office-seekers, beginning with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and continuing to his present job as a spokesman and advisor for Der Furor's 2024 presidential campaign. In between, he served as a "director of communications for public affairs" at the Unlimited Fighting Championship (UFC) in Las Vegas ... a position which certainly must have appealed to the angrily violent style of Der Furor. 

Mr Cheung is noted for his take-no-prisoners responses to criticisms of Der Furor, a style which can be compared to that of famously bombastic North Korean regime spokeswoman Ri Chun-hee.  He has employed a matchless level of dignified gravitas to denounce unwelcome criticisms as "pure bullshit and fake news," and to state that GOP presidential wannabe Nikki Haley is “... going to drop down to kiss [Der Furor's] ass when she quits, like she always does.” In another memorable statement, Mr Cheung denounced those who took issue with Der Furor's description of his political enemies as "vermin," saying that, "those who try to make that ridiculous assertion are clearly snowflakes grasping for anything because they are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome and their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House."

Mr Cheung also took to the media to loudly object to the $454 million judgement against Der Furor in his New York civil fraud trial, claiming that, “A bond of this size would be an abuse of the law, contradict bedrock principals of our Republic, and fundamentally undermine the rule of law in New York” - a somewhat long-winded way to express outrage that Der Furor had finally been called to account for his actions.

William Jennings Bryan or Daniel Webster he ain't.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today we present the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to GOP mouthpiece Steven Cheung, the bile-spewing spokesman for someone who speaks poorly - and embarrassingly - enough on his own.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo