Seeing Things Differently

Last month, in a post titled Husbandly Duties, I talked about the sheer joy* of accompanying my Very Best Beloved on her clothes-shopping expeditions. As all married men, and those in significant relationships, know, this is one of the duties that's part of the small print in your contract. And ... as we all also know ... men and women don't see things quite the same way in a lot of areas, which adds to the joy of shopping.

But, it turns out, there's apparently a sound scientific and evolutionary reason for all that.

My friend Ed, via his Facebook page, pointed me to this fascinating article from National Geographic Daily News: Men and Women Really Do See Things Differently. According to the article, the results of experiments conducted by researchers at Brooklyn College reveal that women are better at discriminating among colors, while men are better at tracking fast-moving objects and discerning detail from a distance. The results seem to indicate that these traits are evolutionary adaptations which may have grown out of our distant pasts as hunters (mostly men) and gatherers (mostly women).

Men's ability to see things at a distance and track moving objects may be related to their higher percentage of testosterone, which contributes to the development of neurons in the visual cortex, which in turn boosts visual acuity. This would, of course, provide an evolutionary advantage conducive to spotting prey at a distance, picking it out of a natural background, and tracking it for the kill.

Women, on the other hand, may have adapted better to the discrimination of colors at closer ranges, which would help them distinguish, for example, ripe from unripe fruits or variations in colors which could signal spoiled or poisonous plants. A professor of optics and visual science at City University London who was quoted in the article noted that women are often deficient in terms of absolute color sensitivity as compared to men, but that they are better at noticing subtle differences among shades of colors. He said that, "If you're not dealing with the absolute sensitivity for color detection but the way in which colors are judged—such as the ability to describe a color, or what that color means, and so on, I'd say that females are definitely much better than males."

Since most of us are no longer hunters and gatherers, these evolutionary adaptations express themselves in other ways. My former co-worker Gwen used to be driven to apoplexy when we'd compliment her on a nice pink blouse that she insisted wasn't pink, but coral; and most women seem instinctively to know that ecru and aubergine are clearly not the same as dirty white or purple.

So, ladies, give us a break when you drag us out to go shopping with you. If we think it's pink, smile and nod and content yourself with knowing in your heart that it's really coral or fuchsia** or rose or salmon. We'll pick the tiger out of the tall grass at a distance and protect you from him ... you dress for the celebration in the color you think is best.

Have a good day, even if you have to look at the world through salmon-colored glasses.

More thoughts tomorrow.

 Bilbo

* I'm glad I'm typing this ... it's hard to talk with my tongue stuck so far into my cheek.

** And whoever decided to call it "fuchsia" obviously never considered the linguistic implications of various pronunciations.

Cartoon Saturday

It's been a long week, but it's finally over ...

An earthquake in southwestern China has killed about 80 people ... a tragedy, but better than the usual Chinese earthquake toll, which tends to be measured in the tens of thousands; the government of famously peaceable and tolerant Canada has severed diplomatic relations with famously belligerent and intolerant Iran; the Democrats have wrapped up their presidential nominating convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, having proved themselves nearly as adept at misrepresentation of facts and the application of unwarranted gloss to bad news as the Republicans; a suicide bomber has killed four people and wounded five others, including several children, near the Kabul headquarters of the International Security Assistance Force ... and the Taliban claimed "credit" for the carnage; and the Tablet Wars are heating up as Amazon introduces a new tablet device to compete with the toweringly successful Apple iPad.

Time marches on relentlessly, and it's time to deploy the cartoons in our mental defense ...

We lead off with the usual terrible pun cartoon ...

and follow it up with a few riffs on the "Hello, Dali!"* theme ...

and ...

Putting a different color on the theme of current popular "literature" ...

With a tip of the hat to my friend and co-worker Brenda, who does amazing things with all sorts of cameras ...

Who doesn't love dogs? And tablet computers? ...

Sometimes, I think the Big Guy may have the right idea ...

There are some people out there with relatively bizarre ideas on human history ... but at least they tend to be blissful in their own world ...

Strictly speaking, this one isn't a cartoon, but it does point out an interesting suspicion I've long held ...

And finally, in case you were wondering how evolutionary theory can explain the existence of lawyers (and their closely-related cousins, politicians) ...

And there you have it - Cartoon Saturday for the first full week of September. There are 59 days of lies, distortions, and disgusting attack ads remaining until the election, 108 days until Christmas, and 219 days until your 2012 federal income taxes are due.

There are also ten days remaining until my vacation starts ... not that I'm counting or anything.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* With apologies to Jerry Herman and Carol Channing.

Losing ... or Choosing ... My Religion*

There are several topics one is warned against discussing in polite company. Politics is one. Religion is another. Since this is an election year, and one party is wrapping itself in the righteous mantle of The Almighty, it's going to be tough to avoid either topic, even though it's a consummation devoutly to be wished**.

But what if you don't have a religion? How can you recognize and avoid discussions about that which you don't have?

Enter my co-worker Brenda, who yesterday sent me this useful chart which will help the undecided select the appropriate religious belief system ...

It's hard to read, but click on it and it will open larger in a new window ("click it to big it," as Mike would say).

Don't thank me, Dear Readers. It's all part of my efforts to keep you sane and out of trouble ...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* With apologies to REM.

** With apologies to Hamlet.

Updated Sayings

My friend Bob (no, not that Bob, the other Bob) sent me an e-mail the other day with a list of cleverly updated aphorisms for the 21st century. I thought they were share-worthy, and so ...

- Home is where you hang your @.

- The e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail (with apologies to Rudyard Kipling).

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C:\ is the root of all directories.

- Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

- The modem is the message.

- Too many clicks spoil the browse.

- The geek shall inherit the earth.

- A chat has nine lives.

- Don't byte off more than you can view.

- Fax is stranger than fiction.

- What boots up must come down (or just crash).

- Windows will never cease.

- In Gates we trust.

- Virtual reality is its own reward.

- Modulation in all things.

- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

- There's no place like ( http://www.)home(.com)/

- Know what to expect before you connect.

- Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

- Speed thrills.

- Give a man (or for that matter, anyone) a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use The Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

And, of course, the obligatory cartoon ...

Any other suggestions, anyone? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Faraday Cages, Revisited

Yesterday I was reviewing some of my old posts and found this one from back in August of 2007: The Unknown National Scourge of Faraday Cages. Amazingly enough, it's still topical.

In case you don't feel like following the link down memory lane, here's the Readers' Digest version: a Faraday Cage is an enclosure which prevents the entry or escape of electromagnetic radiation. Basically, it has two functions, one of which is to protect whatever is inside from the effects of unwanted external inputs. My theory at that time was that there was a gigantic Faraday Cage which covered both Capitol Hill and the White House, preventing the intrusion of unwanted facts and good ideas.

It's still there.

Republican pollster Neil Newhouse famously said a few days ago that, “We’re not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact checkers.”

Yep. Those damned facts are pesky things, aren't they? And both parties tend to think that the only real facts are the ones which support their respective campaign positions ... whether true or not.

We're seeing a campaign of lies, distortions, and half-truths ... of hot air and slime and vast amounts of money that could be spent on better things.

And it's all protected by the mental Faraday Cages of the True Believers*.

Remember Bilbo's First Law: Don't let anyone do your thinking for you. And if you have your own personal Faraday Cage, put it in storage until after the election ... you'll find that the world is a very different place without it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* With thanks to Eric Hoffer.

Better Drinking Through Science!

My friend Bob posted a notice on his Facebook page last night, castigating unnamed persons* for repeatedly posting "examples of the unthinking, rabid partisanship that is the root of most of our country's problems." He went on to note that "Both sides have positives. Both sides have negatives ... (and) you're not convincing anyone of anything except that you're part of the problem when you perpetuate it."

Well, I suppose I should hang my head in shame, but since kvetching makes me feel better, I won't. Instead, I'll offer some helpful advice on improving your drinking to help you get past the electoral ass-clownery ...

I call your attention to this fascinating article from Wired Magazine: Drinking Too Much? Blame Your Glass. The article discusses a new study of British beer drinkers, the results of which indicate that an optical illusion caused by the shape of a curved glass can dramatically increase how much you drink, and the speed at which you down your drinks.

Experimental psychologist Angela Attwood of the University of Bristol suspected that the shape of a beer glass, which can give the appearance of different volumes to the same amount of liquid, might also distort a drinker's perception of how much alcohol is being consumed. She developed a test in which a carefully selected group of social drinkers was assigned to drink either about 177 milliliters or about 354 milliliters of beer or soft drink from straight or curved glasses. The participants watched an "emotionally neutral" nature documentary while they drank, so that they wouldn’t be 'sitting there with nothing to do but drink,' according to Ms Attwood, whose team videotaped the drinkers over two sessions.

After watching video of both sessions and recording how much time it took for the drinkers to finish their beer or sodas, Attwood’s team found that one group consistently drank much faster than the others: The group drinking a full glass of lager out of curved flute glasses. Here is how the article describes the conclusions:

"Attwood believes that the reason for the increase in speed is that the halfway point in a curved glass is ambiguous. Social beer drinkers, she says, naturally tend to pace themselves when drinking alcohol, judging their speed by how fast they reach (the) half-full (point of their glass). Another experiment in which participants were asked to judge different levels of fluid in photographs of straight and curved glasses showed that people consistently misjudge the volume in fluted glasses, Attwood says. A simple solution to this problem would be to mark beer glasses with the accurate halfway point, she says. 'We can’t tell people not to drink, but we can give them a little more control.'”

So ...

If you are really pissed off about the tone of the electoral campaign and decide to apply an alcohol-based solution to your mood instead of cranking out another sourly critical blog post, use a curved glass. It will help you drink more, faster, so that you can drown out the background racket more efficiently.

Don't thank me ... it's all part of my ongoing effort to help you cope with the lunacy. And Bob, the next one is on me.

Have a good day. Remember to give someone else the keys to your car if you decide to take this approach ... you want to live long enough to vote.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* One of whom was almost certainly me!

How I Spent My Weekend

Yes, Dear Readers, we're back! Agnes and I drove up to Pittsburgh for the weekend to visit my Father and my sister and her family, and to take a trip up to our cabin on the Allegheny for a bit of fun. Of course, there are pictures ...

We left early Saturday morning and made excellent time ... until traffic on the Pennsylvania Turnpike came to a dead stop about five miles short of the Donegal exit. This time the delay wasn't caused by the traditional endless construction*, but by - supposedly - a very serious accident. Oh, well ... it's not every day you can leave your parked car in the middle of the Turnpike and take a stroll ...

We finally got to Pittsburgh, having lost only an hour at the backup. Naturally, once traffic began moving, we saw not the least evidence of an accident anywhere.

We checked into our hotel, then went to see Dad. My sister Lisa and her family came over later, and we loaded up and went to dinner at the Hofbrauhaus on the waterfront. Naturally, my brother-in-law Ed and I had to make sure the beer was up to standard ...

... so that it was okay for Dad to sample, too ...

The entire menu was very tempting, but I had to have something you can't get just anyplace - the Schweinshaxe, or pork knuckle with sauerkraut and dumpling. It was every bit as big as it looks ...

Agnes and my sister Lisa shared an apple strudel for dessert. The sauce artistry was quite something!

We managed to get up the next morning and rendezvous at Dad's place, from where we left for Franklin, Pennsylvania, the Venango County seat and one of the nicest little towns anywhere. Dad loves to fish, and in 1965 he bought some land on the Allegheny River not far from Franklin, on which we built a small cabin to use as a family retreat and fishing camp. It's almost fifty years old now, and is one of our most treasured possessions. Agnes and I don't get there very often, as it's quite a drive for us, but my brother uses it quite a bit, and Lisa and Ed take Dad up as often as they can so that he can enjoy the place.

This is the view from the front porch ...

And the view downriver toward the old railroad bridge ...

Dad's famous "Fishmas Tree"...

My sister Lisa and niece Elena ...

I got pressed into duty to cook the chicken ...

 While Elena worked on the dessert ...

In the meantime, Dad had the opportunity to visit with a lot of his old friends and neighbors who were up for the weekend, like Bob ...

and Victor ...

Ed and Elena also had to take Victor's new paddle boat out on the river to try it out ... not realizing that Titan expected to ride along, too ...

We all had a great time and returned to Pittsburgh late Sunday evening in a state of happy exhaustion. Lisa and her family all came over to the hotel after we took Dad home, and we sat up late telling jokes and enjoying each other's company.

But then, of course, it all had to end.

Agnes and I drove back home today (thankfully, without any incidents on the Turnpike), and I finished the weekend by mowing the lawn (can you spell "boo, hiss"?).

So that's how I spent my weekend. Hope yours was safe and enjoyable as well.

And now, it's time for bed. I need my sleep so that I can go back to work tomorrow (Mike, that was your cue to make a snarky remark about retired people who don't worry about that 'work' stuff any more).

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* If you're from Pennsylvania, you know what I'm talking about!

Cartoon Saturday

I, for one, am not sorry to see this past week swirl down the drain of history ...

The GOP wrapped up its convention in Tampa this past week, setting new standards of hypocrisy, lies and distortions unlikely to be matched until the Democratic party convention in Charlotte next week; a Canadian police spokesman said that the dismembered body of a woman was found in the Niagara River; a public notary in Brazil has joined a man and two women in a form of civil union so unusual that a new term had to be invented for it: a polyfidelitous union ... or what we used to simply call bigamy; a federal appeals court in Washington struck down as racially discriminatory a Texas law requiring voters to show photo IDs at the polls*; and a Catholic priest in New York has apologized for saying that child victims of sex abuse may at times bear some of the responsibility for the attacks because they can sometimes seduce their assailants.

Bring on the cartoons ... we need FEMA-strength relief after a week like this one ...

We lead off with the quasi-traditional Terrible Pun Cartoon ...

You don't often see cartoons that take off on poetry, but this week we have two cartoons dealing with one of the most famous poems in American literature, Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven ...

And ...

In the wake of the unexpected literary success of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, unusual sexual behavior seems to be on everyone's mind ...

I just know that, sooner or later, somebody will find this during their Bible study ...

The game of Rock, Paper, Scissors got off to a slow start many years ago ...

And things developed badly over time ...

Two variations on a theme ...

And ...

Finally, do you believe everything you're hearing in the presidential campaign so far? Think the GOP and the Democrats are being honest with you? Check your credulity level here ...

Oh, and no matter who gets elected, you're going to be putting a lot more than $100 into that slot ... the only difference is that the Dems are being a little more honest with you about it.

And that's how it is as we wrap another Cartoon Saturday. Agnes and I will be leaving shortly to drive up to Pittsburgh for the holiday weekend to visit my Dad and my sister and her family (and whatever other family members we can round up on short notice). Because of the other activities, I will probably not be able to post tomorrow, so come back late Monday or at the usual time on Tuesday morning to catch up on our Labor Day adventures, or whatever intellectual shiny object catches my attention.

If you're traveling or partying this weekend, please do it safely ... it's taken me a long time to make all these online friends, and I don't want to lose any of you.

Have a good day and a safe, happy holiday weekend. More thoughts coming ... stay tuned!

Bilbo

* I have no problem whatsoever with requiring people to identify themselves in order to vote. But the current brouhaha over voter ID requirements is so transparently political that it makes my gorge rise.

Clip Art Friday

It's the end of what has been a very ... very ... long week at work, and there are still two weeks to go before our vacation begins. My brain is fried, and even the prospect of heading up to Pittsburgh this weekend to visit my Father and my sister and her family is only making a minor dent in my less-than-stellar attitude.

With this in mind, I thought I'd take a stroll through my collection of clip art and offer you a selection of items that summarize my mood. You may have seen some of these already; if you have, just read on and before you know it, it'll be Cartoon Saturday and you'll feel better. Here we go ...

Yeah, let me get back to you on that ...

The Republican convention is over, and the Democratic convention will be held next week. The blame game is in full swing ...

And they're all offering the same old tired BS ...

There's quite a bit of money greasing the wheels of this year's election, and it's not a game ...

I think it's interesting that the political party that rails so much about how all our freedoms are being taken away sees no problem with allowing far-right religious activists to dictate your beliefs, and with micromanaging women's health issues ...

So, Dear Readers, let's get informed and thoughtful in the weeks remaining until the election ...

Oh, and as you wade through the endless swamp of half-truths, distortions, and outright lies in political advertising, take some advice from the guy in green ...

Something worth remembering. I try to drill it into my grandchildren, and it wouldn't be a bad thing to drill it into most adults, too ...

We'll see how I make it through today ...

And finally, this one pretty much sums things up ...

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... it's not like you need it or anything.

Bilbo

We the (Insert Faction Here) People

One of the really amazing things about observing the GOP convention (and it will probably be true of next week's Democratic convention, too) is the obvious balkanization of the voting public. There aren't really any "Republicans" ... there are "Reagan Republicans," "Tea Party Republicans," "Log Cabin Republicans," "Pro-Life Republicans," "Ron Paul Republicans," etc, etc, etc.

The preamble to the Constitution* begins with the timeless words, "We the People of the United States." Today, we aren't the people of the United States ... we're the people who belong to our particular faction of choice. We're the "pro-life/pro-choice people," the "gun rights people," the "oil and gas people," the "financial industry people," "LGBT people," the "African-American (or other ethnic group) people," or whatever ... insert your faction of choice in the blank. Nobody can just be an American any more. All that's important are the issues that affect me or my faction.

Another interesting thing is to observe the rather dismal knowledge of American history** on the part of those who would wrap themselves in the holy mantle of the sainted Founders. Consider this dedication statement at the beginning of the GOP 2012 Platform:

This platform is dedicated with appreciation and reverence for:

The wisdom of the Framers 

of the United States Constitution, 

who gave us a Republic, 

as Benjamin Franklin cautioned, 

if we can keep it.

One would think that the Founders came down from Heaven riding glowing clouds of intellectual brilliance, bringing the Fountain of All Perfect Knowledge ... which is, of course, as any serious student of history can tell you, utter crap. It is very convenient for those who trumpet the sanctity of every word of the Constitution and the brilliance of its drafters to forget that the original Constitution acknowledged the reality of slavery, papering over the differences between factions that led, eventually, to the Civil War.

The Founders were pragmatic politicians who came together at a critical time in history to cobble together a document which, despite its shortcomings, has held together relatively well. And it's not a bad thing to remember that many of the Founders - who are revered for their supposed godlike wisdom by hardshell conservatives - would probably never be accepted by today's GOP, which utterly eschews their form of pragmatic negotiation and compromise in favor of a my-way-or-the-highway approach to government.

We the People are the ones who will elect the next president. I'd like to think we'll choose wisely, but the signs are not encouraging. We the People mindlessly parrot slogans and unquestioningly accept the most ludicrous outright lies and half-truths. We the People are being manipulated by people with no greater agenda than to crush their opponents and impose their own vision of a society built on their own principles.

And we're letting them get away with it.

The election is not far off. Start thinking. Ask the hard questions and insist on clear answers from those who want your vote. You won't get the answers you want, but it's always interesting to watch the twist and spin and dodge as they try to stay "on message" while making you think you got an answer.

Remember Bilbo's First Law: Don't let anyone do your thinking for you. Especially me ... and especially now.

We the People - all of us - need your clear-thinking, well-informed support. Don't let us down.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Often blithely cited, seldom fully understood.

** Not to mention science.